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Getting A Puppy- Pros And Cons

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Ragavisang, Mar 11, 2024.

  1. Ragavisang

    Ragavisang Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,
    It's my long time dream of getting a puppy. I was postponing it for various reasons and mainly for fear of losing it. Now I am in a state of grief, depression , moaning don't know what it is but very much confused after losing my friend exactly 2 months ago. She was a good friend of mine though she was elder to me we got along very well. I met her even before my marriage meaning she knows my family ,sisters, kids, grand parents and my imaginative dog and it's name. My hubby is there to support me emotionally but I feel it takes time for me come out of it. 6months back when we were talking ,she was saying that something was wrong with her bloated abdomen, I was urging her to see a doctor. She said she is going to fix that with changing her diet and everything will be alright but I was forcing her to check with the doctor. After that she stopped talking to me. I was trying to contact her but she did not respond to messages and returning calls. Finally I got fed up and stopped calling her. I am still in shock and could not believe she is gone (Non alcoholic fatty liver syndrome). She was my role model, she takes care of her health really well and eat healthy food and finding joy in helping others but her problems were like in laws ,co workers verbal abuse like most of the ladies go through in their lives but she is extremely sensitive and poring out to me and I consoled her. But now I am struggling to cope up and feeling guilty that I should have picked up signs early. When she was happily saying she is losing weight I was so happy for her. Now feeling like an idiot. Those were the precious early warning signs. Now I want a puppy more than anything to divert myself. But we take lot of vacations because of less commitments in personal life. I don't want to be selfish by leaving the puppy in kennel whenever I will be away. What should I do? Sorry for my vague writing.
     
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2024
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Wait for a while until your emotions are more settled. Then take a decision. A dog is a huge commitment. Make sure everyone in the family is on board.
     
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  3. Thoughtful

    Thoughtful Gold IL'ite

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    I am really sorry for your loss.

    If you end up getting a dog, try to find a good doggy care ahead of time. I am not sure where you live but I have friends who leave their dog at places where there are swimming pool for dogs, good play areas, its like fun and picnic for dogs.

    You might want to send your dog to this place once a week regularly so they can get comfortable and be joyful. This is what my friend does and the dog looks forward to the visits.

    This way, when you travel, the dog will still be in a place where it will feel comfortable.

    Go ahead and look for such places if you want the peace of mind, ahead of getting the dog.
     
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  4. Ragavisang

    Ragavisang Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks for the reply Malstrom. I am not a regular here, struggling with my roller coaster emotions.. So I was very much hesitated to post it. I will wait it out as you suggested. My husband also said the same thing. yes it's huge responsibility that's why postponing it all these years.
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2024
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  5. Ragavisang

    Ragavisang Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks for the reply Thoughtful. The loss is unbearable. struggling with uncontrollable tears and heart aches.. feeling depressed, she was my anchor when things were difficult for me.

    Btw, thanks very much for your valuable input regarding the doggy care. I never heard of these options. I will definitely do my research before buying a dog.
     
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  6. abcd5

    abcd5 Silver IL'ite

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    As Malstrom said, owning a dog is a 15-year commitment. I lost my 14-year-old dog last year, and in the last three years, I didn't travel anywhere. He was sick, and I didn't want him to die alone, so I never spent a night outside my home. If you have any friends or family to leave him with, then you are good; otherwise, leaving him in a kennel for a long time is hard. My dog wouldn't even eat for the first few days, and despite all the vaccines, he became sick with kennel cough, canine flu, etc., and lost weight.
     
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  7. Thoughtful

    Thoughtful Gold IL'ite

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    I see you know tamil.

    I came across this video of Vijay Antony yesterday. You might have heard that he lost his teen daughter recently. He is such a positive person. This talk ( not about his daughter ) and maybe others might give you some positivity:

     
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  8. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I am so sorry for your loss. You must be going through the entire gamut of feelings and there is often no easily available guidance for dealing with the loss of a friend who was this close. Grief by itself is life altering, you have certain special circumstances around it. I hope you are able to make your way through it, through the fog, towards gradually increasing acceptance and some form of understanding.

    Like mentioned in posts above, take on this new commitment when more settled. Leaving your fur baby in a kennel, even frequently, can be made a pleasant experience for it. But the costs will add up and might eat into your vacation budgets.

    When I was looking at getting a dog, a friend recommended to me that I volunteer 15-20 hrs at an animal care or animal rescue place. Point to note is that not all volunteer work involved hands-on experience with animals, so one has to choose the volunteer task that gives that experience. Then she said, I should offer low pressure services like dog walking or drop-in visits through https://www.rover.com/. So that is my great plan. To volunteer first, and then to earn some $$ from Rover that will go to a non-profit I work with. Fun fact: my unique point when I post on Rover will be that I can provide homemade Indian food to the dog. : ) Apparently, some people's dogs like to eat Indian food. And also apparently, such food is not advisable for dogs. That is a popular debate at potlucks. : ) Sorry I got carried away with my dog story.

    Your loss is huge. I hope the sorrow passes and memories remain. If you have whatsapp or other chats with her, try saving them.
     
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  9. Ragavisang

    Ragavisang Gold IL'ite

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    Sorry to hear about your dog. It's very painful to read it . I will wait before bringing another soul in to my life as you said it's big commitment. I still remember Suseela my neighbor's snow white Pomeranian died in a road accident when I was young.
     
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  10. Ragavisang

    Ragavisang Gold IL'ite

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    yes I am tamil and definitely watch it soon. Thanks a lot.
     
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