Yes, looking like it’s heading towards that direction only…. Sure, this gonna be my life lesson and this gonna be my first thing to consider anytime going forward.
Nothing to be ashamed of on this. Most of us have been there where we lent a helping hand, only to find out in a hard way that the money is not coming back. Others have been in close proximity to such incidents and have wizened up not to make this mistake. As a rule of thumb, before lending money to anyone, ask yourself, are you okay if the money does not come back. Give only if you feel the answer is yes. So, for a friend like this, the answer could be yes for $200, but not $1000. Tell them that you can give only $200. If it comes back, good. If not, you know not to trust this person. For your brother it might be yes for $1000, but not $10,000. You get the gist. Something I would avoid in this situation: This clearly looks like an excuse which you are using to lean on to, because you are not confident to ask for the money. You come out as a weak person. Just saying, hey, you haven't returned the money, is good enough and more difficult for the other person to handle than saying, I have someone having health issue etc. This also will hurt you more than help you. Long message will weaken your position as he will find holes in your message. He wouldn't care for the due date as you can't do anything about it. The date will come and go and you will be anxious until then and after it passes, you will be more angry after that. So, I would go back and ask, "hey, did you send me the money already. can you zelle it to me" He would come back with will do it soon. Ask him why he can't do right away. Just be straight with him. These kind of conversations can't be premeditated and need to taken on the responses you are getting. If it is an amount you think its not worth losing sleep over, don't lose you sleep over it. If it is a larger amount and you can't digest giving it up, you will have to be more creative. More creative could include, sending your husband to his home or work place and having some tough conversations. If he is afraid that this news will spread to common friends or acquaintances, the chances of him returning are more.
You could just talk to him casually once without discussing anything about the money you loaned and understand how he is going on with this life, wife, job etc. Understand his situation and check if he himself saya anything about returning the money. If he has problems and he offers to return it, then give him installment options. Is there any other common friend in your office who knows him. If yes, you could talk to that person about this loan. Or to his wife if she has arrived. Its so bad and feel ashamed to ask back our own money. He has exploited your good nature.
Please understand, USCIS , does not care about loans complaints to cancel visa. even complaining to manager he stole $10k, does not mean anything to USCIS. so stop overthinking. i have been in h1 in the past. this is just random fear desis have who are new to this country.
Exactly this is what I was going through for every scenario you explained. Will remember every suggestion especially I way to react to these situations Yes, probably if nothing work, I will check with common friends/ colleagues.
That’s what I’m scared these days being exploited. We will be readily careful with people who look tough or directly show their bad nature. But I’m trying to be extra careful people who looks to be a good person because either they are really good or bad nature person pretending to be good/ true nature is not exposed until something happens. Yes, probably if nothing work, I will check with common friends/ colleagues.
Don’t involve your manager or even your other coworkers. Sometimes the tables can be turned on you. Just keep it between the two of you.
You have helped a coworker at times of his need hoping he would return the funds after 30 days as committed by him. Please don't feel guilty about losing money and it can happen to anyone. There are couple of ways to approach this: 1) Have a general conversation with him inquiring about him, his wife, and family and assess whether there are any financial issue at his end. If possible, ask him whether he needs any further help and if he seeks further financial assistance, it is a confirmation that you need to write off what was given already. At least it will make him call you as opposed to you following up on repayment. 2) Have a direct conversation with him that you have reached out multiple times to get back money from him but without any success. Therefore, if he doesn't return the money within the next 30-60 days, you have no option but to write it off as a goodwill. Sometimes, this kind of talk triggers someone to return the money if his intention is to pay back.
