I don’t know how to proceed with the situiation. I have a colleague who is from same place as mine from India. Few months back came from India to work and was waiting for the right moment to bring his wife too when things settle down. He used to share and talk regular things when we meet during breaks. So, one day he mentioned that his wife will be coming for next month and he might need some money for expenses during initial days. He borrowed some money from me saying he will be returning it within a month. The only reason I thought was I know the struggle our desis have on H1 and so and he was also reliable over all from his behavior. During this time he was working onsite, I used to travel for my work every now and then. He postponed to 2-3 months initially assuring he would give the money as soon as he can. Later he got transferred to different branch and now it’s almost close to 6 months. Last month I told, I really need money due to family member health issue. He was like I don’t want to trouble you anymore. This time I’m surely gonna return and then when the day came same old story. Already I’m are busy with our lives and on top of it I have to follow on the date he told he will be returning the money and with job/ work at home stress these I really got vexed up with the situation. I’m really having doubt that whether is really have intention to return the money. Being colleague and the way he was I haven’t been rough with him. For now, I’m thinking to put a long message to give 1 last week and return the money at any cost. But Im thinking what if he stops responding to my text and calls. What I should be doing, should I complain about it to his manager. Should I mention this to him and give heads-up to him before doing it. I’m not really sure would it be crossed out as personal issue or impact his job any way… or anyone dealt with similar kind of situation or people. Thankfully it not very big amount but what are my better options to deal with it? Any other way I can get my money back… plz advise.
Just ask. do not overthink. long messages do not mean anything. keep asking till you get. sorry similar happened to my dh. he gave around $2k to his friend. now that guy is delaying for more than 1 year. also avoid giving in future other than emergencies. getting his wife onsite is not emergency. he can stay or share room with other men and save and do whatever he has to do.
also there is nothing you can do, if he says NO. i will not give. other than shout ,swear. it is not a illegal activity. The financial transaction was between consenting adults as a favor of personal faith. sorry it sounds harsh. but yeah it is what it is.
But where is his spouse supposed to have joined him long back? Since it is petty amount according to you, would suggest write off from your mind and books and terminate his friendship and dont attend his calls or respond to messages. Ih you find his story "spouse joining him from India" is true try to contact and suggest that her husband return the amount you lent him with interest. Also never give anything to anyone as loan. You must hv courage to say a big NO. If they do not return in good time nor show any real inclination to hand back the amount, your mind will lose its peace. Regards. God Bless you.
You have to accept that you may never get the money back. Just use this as a lesson for future and don’t give money to coworkers or friends for non-emergencies. Don’t blame yourself, it can happen to anyone.
Definitely, with this experience firstly I decided I won’t be giving money to anyone no matter what how nice they seem. If the person badly needs some for some emergencies only. I have a checklist now to decide including what you have suggested.
Exactly, especially being completely in a different state. No not harsh at all, I can completely relate to it now it feels like that’s the only option I have. That’s why I was thinking if I can write to this manager but was wondering if they consider it as a personal issue or if it has impact on his job especially on visa status. That’s where I’m confused on alternate ways that can be done….
No, don’t involve the manager. That is inappropriate. It is a personal matter between the two of you, and unless you have formal proof that you gave a loan it can easily end up as he said-she said.
