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General Discussion On How Much A Dil Can Adjust And What A Mil Needs To Be Empathetic About

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sindmani, May 17, 2017.

  1. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    In 90s , I used to see certain dramas, actually my mom sees those. Being a kid may be in a tender age 7 years old when I saw a drama , I don't remember its name or any other scenes but one. It was about dowry etc . one question popped up in my mind that day itself why " why aunty and grandmom both being women fight". Yes even now I have the question. But I see it in a different angle. I understand it is a power struggle.

    What can a dil adjust on , I feel she can adjust as much where her self respect is not demeaned.
    Mil can be a little empathetic being same gender who went through series of adjustment episode. Adjusting her in-laws, sister in law, bil,co sister, husband, taking care of kids. Yes I know it's tough for her more than us because they were inside a circle, more confined to the boundaries of home. They can't even vent their problems in social media. Their mom would scold them if they complain about so much work in in-laws ' home etc. Those days husbands were a bit more tougher .


    So what middle ground can we take for coexistence of mil n dil in peace
     
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  2. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    dil nned to accept husband family as her own only to an extent wher her respect,kids are not compromised
     
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  3. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    The kanyadaan thing is ********.
    Daughters should remain daughter to their parents even after marriage.
    Take care of them when sick.
    Should not have to take permission from anybody to visit her parents
    Dil has to respect the inlaws.take care
    There is no need to take care of the bill,sil so so.
     
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  4. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    True , yes we are daughters to our parents always. But in India daughters should forget their parent's home once married and say in-laws are my parents from henceforth. Maybe that can change.
     
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  5. Kukudukuu

    Kukudukuu Silver IL'ite

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    True that... Few years ago, when my mother was hospitalized, I wanted to visit her. I was talking about it to my mil, to which she bluntly replied do whatever you want and walked away. She indirectly meant a 'no'... I was deeply hurt and was wondering how someone can be this inhuman...
     
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  6. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    yes.if that happens,
    This il forum can be closed:cheer::cheer:
     
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  7. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Iam sorry to hear that issue kukkudukuu. Hope u have gone to see ur mom afterwards.
     
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  8. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Did you go and see your mom???
     
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  9. Kukudukuu

    Kukudukuu Silver IL'ite

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    Yes... I did go.
     
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  10. Kukudukuu

    Kukudukuu Silver IL'ite

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    Yes.. I did go... The more submissive we become, higher the chances of getting exploited by ILs.
     
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