Sign in a butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs." Sign on used car lot: "Second hand cars in first crash condition." Sign on fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive." Sign over a cannibal's hut: "I never met a man I didn't like." In restaurant: "Open seven days a week and weekends." On the freeway in Boston during a MAJOR transformation of the streets and bridges, etc: "Rome wasn't built in a day. If it was we would have hired their contractor." A sign in front of an advertising agency in south superhighway, Philippines: "A BUSINESS WITH NO SIGN IS A SIGN OF NO BUSINESS" A sign in front of a Macadamia Nut Factory in Hawaii: "Caution: Nuts crossing road." On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot." In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home." On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs." Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques." In front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car." Sign in a maternity clothes store: "We are open on labor day." Sign on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push." Sign at a computer store: "Out for a quick byte." Sign in a bowling alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop." Sign on restaurant window: "Great food (50,000 flies can't be wrong)." Billboard facing the road in front of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait." Sign on a Norfolk farm: "Trespassers beware! I shoot every tenth trespasser. The ninth one just left." Sign in a Rome laundry: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time Sign at a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty." Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: "Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn't worth anything - gas is!" On a dock in Juneau, Alaska: "Safety ladder, climb at own risk." A speed limit sign on Long Beach Island, New Jersey: "Smile, You're on Radar!" In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK) A sign in the local opportunity shop says, "If your going to steal, then smile for the camera."