Funny (i bet ure gonna like dis)

VERY IMPORTANT : ok enjoy this English , but dont forget yours in the bargain!

In Tamilnadu , there is a well known person by name , Mr. Jeppier
, Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing colleges. He always speaks in English. The students of that college have collected & published a book by name "Jappier's Spoken English" <WBR>
... Njoy ...........with his..............English......<WBR>........
<WBR> <WBR> <WBR> <WBR>

Now , here are some classic English sentences from the great
"Jappier's Spoken English" <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> # At the ground: <WBR>
<WBR> ----------------- <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
All of you stand in a straight circle. <WBR>
There is no wind in the balloon. <WBR> <WBR>
The girl with the mirror please comes her...{Means: girl with specs
please come here).
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> # To a boy , angrily: <WBR>
<WBR> --------------------- <WBR>
I talk , he talk , why you middle middle talk?
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
# While punishing students: <WBR>
<WBR> ----------------------- <WBR>
You , rotate the ground four times... <WBR>
You , go and understand the tree... <WBR>
You three of you stand together separately. <WBR>
Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?) <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
# While addressing students about Dress Code: (he is very strict
abt this )
<WBR> ----------------------- <WBR>
Every body should wear dress to college
<WBR> Boys no proplum <WBR>
Girls are pig proplum . (pig=big) <WBR>
Girls should wear only slawar no nightee. <WBR>
Girls should not wear T shirt , U shirt , V shirt.. but if you want to
wear .... remove it when inside the campus and put it outside the
campus.
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> # Sir at his best: <WBR>
<WBR> --------------- <WBR>
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance , he happened
to see one of our boys at the theatre , though the boy did not see
them. So the next day at school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I
saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre" <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
------------------------------<WBR>---------------- <WBR>
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come
in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come
in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger
half.
Shhh...Quiet , boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the
corridor
You , meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the
class..)
This one is cool >> "Both of u three get out of the
class."
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my
nose today...
Take Copper Wire of any metal; especially of
Silver.....
Take 5 cm wire of any length.... <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
Last but not the least, some Jeppiar experiences ...
<WBR> <WBR>
Once Sir had come late to a college function , by the time he reached, the function had begun. So he went to the dais and said, "sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons" (Meaning goats). <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
At Sathyabama college day- 2002: <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
"This college very strict. U no worry.... U get good marks , I the
happy, tomorrow u get good job , jpr the happy , tomorrow u marry..... I the
enjoy"
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
<WBR> <WBR>
At St. Josephs college of engineering freshers day- 2003:
<WBR> <WBR>
"No ragging this college. Anybody rag, we arrest police "
<WBR> <WBR>

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