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Funny Divorce Letter.

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by gisjul, Oct 26, 2007.

  1. gisjul

    gisjul Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Wife,

    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
    leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for
    seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These
    last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to
    tell me that you had quit your job today and that was
    the last straw.

    Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I
    had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal,
    and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers later
    that night.

    You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes,
    and went straight to sleep after watching all of your
    soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you
    don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're
    cheating on me or you don't love me. Whichever is the
    case,,,,I'm gone.

    Signed,
    Your EX-Husband
    P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are
    moving away to
    West Virginia together. Have a great
    life!

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
    Dear Ex-Husband,
    Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receivingyour letter. It's true that you and I have beenmarried for seven years, although a 'good man' is afar cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps somuch because they drown out your constant whining andgriping. It's just too bad it doesn't work.
    Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut lastweek,,,and actually the first thing that came to mymind was "You look just like a girl",,, but my motherraised me not to say anything at all if you can't sayanything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal,you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER,because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
    I turned away from you when you had those new silkboxers on because the price tag was still on them. Iprayed that it was just a coincidence that my sisterhad just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morningand your silk boxers were $49.99...
    After all of this, I still loved you and felt that wecould work it out. So when I discovered that I had hitthe lotto for twenty million dollars, I quit my joband bought us two tickets to Hawaii. But when I gothome you were gone. Everything happens for a reason Iguess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you'vealways wanted.
    My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, youwon't get a dime from me. So take care.
    Signed:Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but mysister 'Carla',,,was born as Carl. I hope that's not aproblem for you.


    HA HA HA
    REGARDS,
    GISELLE:p:2thumbsup:
     
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  2. meenakshirajan

    meenakshirajan Silver IL'ite

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    Hello Giselle,
    That was really really funny.
    Meenakshi Rajan
     
  3. Meenaneelakantan

    Meenaneelakantan Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi

    Enjoyed reading it!
    MEENA
     
  4. Vysan

    Vysan Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,

    That was real good one.... hahahahaha. Great....
     
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    REally funny...
     
  6. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Good lesson to husbands....
     
  7. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Very funny!
    But why West Virginia!:confused2:
    (Did you all notice that I am there!)
    Hey, no, no , I am not Carl!:)

    sriniketan
     
  8. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Sriniketan,
    I guess the joke is pointing at YOU:-o:-o (just kidding)

    ~Punitha
     
  9. gisjul

    gisjul Senior IL'ite

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    hey!!
    thats just a coincidence my dear ..
    enjoy reading willpost more jokes if available of course others will not be for West Virginia

    ha haa ha
    giselle:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl
     
  10. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks, giselle,
    You made my day!:redface:

    come o Punitha, I know it is just a joke!

    sriniketan
     

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