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Friendship after marriage for women

Discussion in 'News & Politics' started by vkrithika1, Mar 11, 2008.

  1. vkrithika1

    vkrithika1 Gold IL'ite

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    hi all,

    There is general view that women do not have contacts to their friends after marriage.Today even my husband argued with me on this.He said most women do not maintain their contacts with their friends after marriage.This may be partly true.

    We women are unable to maintain our old friendship after marriage because of our family conditions.But i always contact my college friends regularly.
    But how many of us do have contacts with our friends.Are we missing something.Of course we get new friends after marriage.But our college and school friends,really they are special.

    Is it possible for us to find our old friends through IL friends.
     
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  2. padija

    padija Senior IL'ite

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    Re: friendship

    yeah its really ture that women do lose contact with their friends, men were able to continue their friendship even after marriage, they call them frequently either from office or from home or meet them regularly , but women on the other hand bonk we hardly find some alone time after marriage or even worse when we have a baby.

    though i don't have contact with all my friends, i still have contact with my best friend 13 years and still going...........wow and iam really proud of it. Thanks to my DH who made it possible.
     
  3. vkrithika1

    vkrithika1 Gold IL'ite

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    Re: friendship

    Hi gowri,

    As you rightly said, we much focus on our family once we get into the family way.My husband has contacts even with his childhood friends.

    Our college and school friendship ends with autograph note(with tears).
     
  4. roopadadia

    roopadadia Silver IL'ite

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    Re: friendship

    Hi Krithika,

    It is not just of whether we find time or not but are we really keen to keep our friendship going with all of them or just a few of them with whom we had a special bonding.

    Also, it has to reciprocate...all the friends are not really interested in keeping a life long relationship. So we normally have 4-5 friends with whom we have bonded well and we still maintain that relationship our husbands also bond well with each other.

    Roopa.
     
  5. padmavathi m

    padmavathi m Silver IL'ite

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    Re: friendship

    hi krithika..........

    i found my friend through orkut.........she was my best school friend...............she used to write letters to me very often, but i never did that...........then one day i just logged in and gave her name in okut search, fortunately i found her in orkut.............the worst part, both were in bangalore and didnt have any contacts for 7 to 8 years, that is after my marriage.............but now i am in chennai..............still we are so close together..........i think when we really search for them they come ...........just try it

    love
    padma
     
  6. latamurali

    latamurali Gold IL'ite

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    Re: friendship

    Hai krithika

    I still maintain v v v good freidnship even with my KG friends and then higher secondary, college and my ex colleagues.............and even with my exneighbours........we have a very close group of friends and some of them staying even outside India.but still we all used to meet whenever and whoever come to India.......and almost others have atlast came back here...so we are having very jolly time even now.........prev we used to go alone now we are taking our kids sometimes with hubby .so having family gala get together now-a-days.....

    Friends..they mean lot to me....they are part of my life............i cherish them..........and love them to the core.........
     
  7. Nivedi

    Nivedi New IL'ite

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    Re: friendship

    I have seen some of my friends not being in touch because their in-laws and husband forbid them from having friends. Men not face this issue from their in-laws.

    As for me, I am in touch with those friends who matter a lot to me. Many friends come and go from our lives. Some remain with us in adversity and prosperity.
     
  8. Sumeru

    Sumeru New IL'ite

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    Re: friendship

    Hi Krithika,

    I think it depends on each one's attitude to life + the circumstances each one of us find ourselves post marriage, how happy we are, is there loneliness in life, how much of spare/free time we have, any tensions, pressures, etc.

    Generally, if we have a moderately smooth life, our minds are more relaxed and we can concentrate on good activities such as these, but if we are preoccupied with lots of housework, pressures from work and at home, in-law problems, then our minds tend to concentrate on solving and tackling these issues. Result being it sucks up all the energy out of you, leaving very little energy or desire to share with friends.

    Sometimes, people are well settled, but are not very keen on socializing with old friends and sometimes they may have friends who are not great in socializing. Overall a mix of all these would be the reason I guess.

    I still try to touchbase with friends from school, college and work, but not all of them are responsive, maybe they are all sucked up in family life and the responsibilities it brings.
     
  9. Jithiks

    Jithiks Gold IL'ite

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    Re: friendship

    Hi IL ladies,

    I totally agree with Sumeru. :exactly: I try to maintain contact with my old friends thru mail or phone. But they are not as enthusiastic as we expect them to be. As Sumeru mentioned, it may be due to added responsibilities of family/work etc.:idontgetit:

    But in the modern day, people are totally preoccupied since they are always on the run. They are at work, if not, they have to take care of kids, drop them at school, classes, attend to their studies ..all the nitty gritties of life.

    Still, we do find time to relax, but it is by one's own choice whether we want to maintain contact with our old friends. This is really a sad state today especially when we are staying abroad.

    But even friends staying in Chennai hardly meet or have a get together.

    Having said all that, if we really want to stay in touch, we sure can !

    Thanks
    Jithiks
     
  10. Oviya

    Oviya Silver IL'ite

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    Re: friendship

    Dear Krithika,

    Generally, ladies get to lose their friends after marriage. Either because of their new relations or because of themselves.

    I'm so happy to say that I still have all my friends. I have been always away. Most of them don't have net. I would call them probably twice a year or sometimes lesser. Still, whenever we see, it is so fresh as if we are meeting eachother everyday.

    My DH and in-laws are so friendly with them, too.
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2008

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