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Friends Visited -is It My Mistake

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Vedhavalli, Jun 28, 2020.

  1. candidheart

    candidheart Platinum IL'ite

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    Sorry you are not going to like my message.

    IMO, you both are equally responsible for what happened. (not going to talk about that man who lacks common sense who self invited himself)
    Did you know who was at the door and then opened it(through view finder)? or you have to open and then look for who it is?
    If it was the first, then you shouldn't have opened the door. You should have informed your husband and discussed among st yourself and decided whats best to do. In this case you take more responsibility for not reacting quickly. you could have easily avoided the whole thing)

    IF it was the second, then your husband takes responsibility (not for asking him to come in , because I think he did that out of our basic hospitality nature and culture and like @rihanna mentioned not to offend someone) but for entertaining for 2 hrs. He cannot shout at you after sitting and chatting for 2 hrs.
    From your post looks like you were really angry and trying to blame it entirely on him and hence in his defense he wants you to assume responsibility as well..which I think is fair.

    what happened is happened. let this go..both of you have a plan for such things in future and follow it.

    Ever since this pandemic we had this arrangement of not opening the door, even when we have groceries delivered. we will wait for them to leave after ringing bell and give atleast more than 30 mins to even pick up the delivery, just being extra precautious.

    My suggestion is if you have unexpected guests just do not open the Door. they may ring the bell and leave or you can call then and explain that you are not entertaining guests in this situation and in self quarantine.
    Even better if you could leave a general not on the door indicating to keep 6ft distance from the door...that could give some hint to such people..
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  2. candidheart

    candidheart Platinum IL'ite

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    THEY ARE WRONG
    Some people are in denial and don't want to accept the reality. You are doing the right thing by being cautious which we all should be. You are not only protecting your own family , but doing your part to the society in avoiding the spread. These are the people who feel "rules are meant to be broken" or rules are not for us!!:BangHead::BangHead:

    I see so many who don't wear masks when outside, giving lames excuses that while exercising they cannot wear one (then do it inside your house is my advice,) don't practice social distancing..these are the people who contribute to the surge that we are seeing.

    Please avoid such (ignorant) friends until this is over alteast. Please continue to do what you are doing :clap2:
     
  3. sociallifein30s

    sociallifein30s Silver IL'ite

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    oh God I laughed so hard at this ..... your hand attached to your body attached to your brain .... Im going to be giggling at this all day
     
  4. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    I agree with @candidheart s reply...
    A note on a big sheet of paper, in big and bold font that both you and husband are in self quarantine and no visitors allowed...request to call on mobile number for emergencies...that will drive the message to guests who drop in without prior intimation..if they have called earlier politely refuse to entertain..
     
    candidheart likes this.
  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:@Vedhavalli

    It is easy to be wiser after the event. Others like auditors would begin dissecting leading lot of could have , would have & ought to have.

    2. What happened to the peephole on the door? You are not in the habit of using safety chain! It is better to know in advance who is behind the door before attempting to open it. If partner is there, better to have a word with him too when person outside is third party or known to spouse.
    In future you would Never hurry to open the door in without some cogitation.

    3. I hope you got what answer you needed. But in times of pandemic one should take initiative if other is taking incorrect decision - a quick reversal of decision for safety is paramount.

    Thanks and Regards.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2020
    candidheart likes this.
  6. sociallifein30s

    sociallifein30s Silver IL'ite

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    omg pot luck and parties? whats wrong with them! Actually same in my apartment in India too. Someone celebrated a birthday party and people were invited and guess what? people attended the party too!

    I dont know since when is being scared of something become a bad thing?
    Being scared, being prepared, being cautious - somehow these things are given a "weak" picture if we express it. But when the time comes, whoever are those people who "paint" that picture on others will be the first ones to flee.
     
  7. nayidulhan

    nayidulhan Bronze IL'ite

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  8. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    I don't understand why the friend should not come in. A one off visit is not going to cause trouble, was it an important matter? Tell us the whole scenario. Did you ask your husband why he didn't tell the friend to go outside? And then he said it's your fault? If so, leave it. Some men are like that. They would rather blame it you than accept their mistake. Next time, you check from the eye hole who is visiting and if it's his friends, don't respond. They will either call your husband or leave. Let him handle the matter. But don't expect him to apologize, he doesn't seem like a person who will understand. Look for a solution when there is a problem, complaining won't help.
     
  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for clicking like button. You are a passive visitor, and am lucky you visited here and viewed this comment for whatever it is worth.
    Regards.
    God Bless.
     
  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:
    I have put a similar notice in largest font across at the entrance door and on huge iron gate too. It includes the visitor who ever it is must give a ring and not to touch the door or hasp and not to attempt enter without our permission. We arrange collect at gates, deliveries if it is of higher value.

    Thanks and Regards.
     
    candidheart likes this.

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