Friend or a Bully?

Hello All,
I need your valuable and experienced suggestions in dealing with a unique situation in my life. I work for a big company with many divisions, I met a girl from a different group in my company and we had lots of similarities in our lives like we both have same age kids etc. so we became friends and used to go for walks very often and talk a lot. She talks 80% of the time and I listen most of the time. She shares all her personal/professional details with me without any hesitation, I did not feel very comfortable sharing my very personal details with her from the beginning, but I used to share minimal information about me and we used ask for advice from each other for day to day problems we face at work, with husband and with kids.
Also my husband used to work for the same company in a very high position than both of us and she used to be very excited about that. I never talk or share info about my husband with except for basic minimal. Her husband does not have a job and she is the primary bread winner for the family. She always had this inferiority complex in her, so I used to be nice to her and tried to help her build her self esteem etc.
We used to go for walks very often, always she initiates to go for walk initially she used to be very polite and all that , after few months of this whenever we meet in a common place to go for walk outside, she will show face and not very happy attitude even if I am few minutes late. But if she is late she will pretend she was very busy working on something and started purposely coming late, so I started going late as well sometimes to confirm her reactions and I started saying no for going for walks when I am busy with work. After few episodes of this and also my work load went high so I reduced the number of times I said yes for her request for going on walk.
One day she came into my office cube where I sit, surrounded by all my boss and my team mates, started saying did you husband lose his job I cannot see his name on the company website anymore, at a busy time when office was full and everyone sitting in their cubes. I got very embarrassed since my boss and some others knew about my husband, I just explained her that my husband’s division of the company was split and he is part of the new company. I was really mad at her and stopped talking to her for few months and later we patched up and started going together for walks etc.
Another time we went on a shopping trip with her SIL and I was friendly and talking to her about her and told her she talks a lot etc. So she got mad at me again and misbehaved by coming to my cube. This time I was totally mad at her so I told her not to come to my cube and anymore, since this will create problems to my career. She apologized to me and told she did not realize that I was hurt with her actions until I told her so(she also said she has anger problems and working on it), I felt this is not right and stopped going for walk and I spoke very minimal to her whenever we met by chance along the corridor etc.
We are also part of a club where I am the secretary of the club, after that episode I only talk to her when it is necessary and ignored her. So she started intimidating me at every chance she gets and try to be little me with each of her actions. I kept ignoring her and did not show my feelings. Recently there was a party to be organized in the club, she volunteered to do that and will receive credit for doing that when it’s accomplished. One that day I did not attend the club meeting so I was not aware of all this. Next day she voluntarily told me If I would like to help her out with organizing the potluck party for 30 people, all it involves is sending emails and co-ordinating who is bringing what. So I told her since she is leading this effort she has to do that, she responded since I am the secretary I will be the right person to do that. I outrightly told her I do not have time so she can do that. And also asked her if something is bothering her to make her come in my way so often, she reacted by saying “ I am a person with very low self esteem, so I need to work on that rather that asking her such questions”. I was not happy and told her to mind her language and behave herself in the future.
I am very upset with her behavior, and confused as to how I should respond to her actions moving forward, I really like going to this club and it is helping me immensely. I do not want to stop going to that club just to avoid her.
Please give me some suggestions ladies …………………………

Thanks a lot for your patience in reading my long post/ ranting…….

 

Thanks for your response, Veeramachaneni. Its comforting to know I am not alone.

I never shared much info about me to her.

 

Thank you, Itsjustme

 

Thanks all of you lovely ladies, Now I feel I did the right thing and mind is cleared up.