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Friend Copying Verbatim

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Vaikuntha, Dec 18, 2019.

  1. Vaikuntha

    Vaikuntha Platinum IL'ite

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    I have a friend, we have known her since 7+ years. She is copying me verbatim. Eg, if I say: it is thrilling to drive in a sedan while sipping starbucks coffee because the leg space is more than others in market.

    Now, I am interested in car make and who is driving what, and I like coffee more than tea and I pay attention to leg space.
    This things are not her. But as soon I say the above sentence, in front of her, I know she will copy it verbatim.

    Why is she doing it?
    She wants to sarcastic? But I felt, she really wants people to think of it as her sentence.
    She is saying the sentence to me back, verbatim, after a year of two, months, when the opportunity arrises.
    It doesnt sound like a sarcastic thing or pulling my leg. It is almost like she forgot that she is copying it from me. It is bit creppy.
     
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  2. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I don't think it is sarcasm. In fact I doubt she realizes she is quoting you to you. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. She might not admit it but she considers you as someone worth emulating, whose opinions carry weight, or are 'cool'. Seems like her own opinions are informed by yours. Next time she quotes you, smile and say, 'You took the words right out of my mouth!' ; )
     
  3. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    A curious situation. I've seen the more common and tangible version of it - people who copy others in dress style, home decor, car buying, vacation, parenting decisions. There was a discussion a while back whether such copying is always OK or can it also be annoying.

    Coming to this specific verbatim copy thing - many times such people do that verbatim copying from more than one person. They are genuinely impressed by something someone says, might feel a 'wish I could talk like that', and note that down as something to use in a future conversation. As with any subterfuge or camouflage or pretense, it is hard to keep track of when to not say it. So, she ends up repeating it back to you also.

    Like, I came across a beautiful birthday wish in a FB or whatsapp group. I immediately started to use it in other groups and 1-1 wishes, and it stood out, and one person even said, "I am going to borrow that." Of course, I did not see any need to say it was already a borrowed composition. : ) As of now, I am able to remember not to use it in the original group or here in IL. :facepalm: :blush:

    If that friend is doing it to more than one person, I'd say it is just that she knows/feels what she lacks, and is trying to make up for it by copying. If she is doing it to only one person, it can get annoying though best viewed as a compliment.

    That being said, "these things are not her" is not something that can concluded with certainty. And, makes you seem like you think being interested in leg space or preferring coffee to tea is a "thing." I get what you are saying. But, that peeve can also be misconstrued. Such as in posts following this. : )
     
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  4. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    If not her, who could it be ? is the kwestin. Here is one suspect (or perhaps, a person of interest): her husband. He may be one of those (we have heard about such specimens in posts on IL) who appreciates women who aren't married to him, and does so in comments to his wife. That "Why can't you be like her?" manner of irritable behavior.
    And the poor thing may be trying hard to please him.
     
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