Forgiving each other in a marriage

Dear friends,

Rather than calling it forgiving each other I would say the best way is to accept each other or agreeing to disagree.

I generally follow this way to patch up.Once the storm passes,We start playing a sport together.Badmiton or shuttle mostly.

The emotions are channelized in a productive sports activity.This way our hearts feel lighter also we start appreciating each other for a well played game.

:yes:

 

This happens with me too. I was thinking I am the only one doing such things. Thanks That I m not alone!:2thumbsup:

 

Hi
Forgiving for small mistakes is some what easy but very difficult to forgive after physical abuse.Even that is forgiven if it's kept private but hurting physically in front of others is very difficult to forgive.but if u have kids no other way , have to bear everything for kids future.
Just think about kids face and move ahead give a shake hand.

But if it's extra marital affair never try to make deal.tat will spoil ur life

 

so true......i too see it like that...my H, MIL and FIL are the 3 critiques in my life, and they dissect, each and every thing about me. I too started treating them like over grown children when they do so. At times i explain, at times i ignore and at times i do it their way to please. just like what you said....half heard and half ignored, it what works. ROLF.

 

The basics of a marriage - forgive and forget, choose your fights wisely, dont take it to heart, and never forget to build a team no matter what,be strong together....

 

I have read most of the discussions. Kind of agree with you all here. Trying to forgive my hubby and move on...but unable to do it.
Right now in the same situation. We have shifted to our own house 2 weeks ago. It was a very happy moment for me. I wanted to stasrt arrannging things from the next morning as I was very tired and weak as I went through a medical abortion just a day before we shifted.
Since the day we shifted till today I did not see my husband in a good mood. He's only grumbling that the new house is messy and I am lazy blah blah. (I know he is worried abt EMI)
Even my MIL tried to talk to my hubby about my condition. Added to this I have to take care of my 2 kids aged 4 and 2 along with my old inlaws. I am trying to do my best but still my hubby continues to be moody and negative of whatever I do.
Unable to forgive him...venting out here as I am not talking with him since we shifted.
Hope he understands.

 

There is a nice poem I would like to add up that inspired y me to over come the difficult moments. Love is the basic force that binds use togather rest is trasitory so adhere to that and d rest will pass off .forjgive and forget is like live and let live.here are d beautiful words:

FORGET who hurt you yesterday,
But dont forget those who love you everyday.
FORGET the past that makes you cry,
Focus on the present that makes you smile.
FORGET the pain,
But never the lessons you gained!
I was so touched by these words that I fogot my misery bathed in new light of love welcomed the happiness that awaited me!

 

To forgive somebody is to move on happily for our self. Forgiving is for all relationships to thrive. Especially in husband wife relationship forgiving plays an important role especially if there is considerable amount of guilt associated with it. I am not talking about any of the dangerous and serious abuse forgiveness here.:notthatway:
But sadly we can only forgive but not forget fully. No matter how broad minded we try to be, it will always be in some part of our mind. Then what is the success secret for the marriage ? That would be to keep the incident always locked in distant memories never ever to let it come out in any of our conversations or actions. It should be like an open secret between both of the spouses.
The success of forgiveness is shared responsibility between the spouses. The one who is forgiving should never use this to attack at some other point and the person forgiven should try not to repeat it. sorrysmileysurrendersmiley
Just imagine how our mothers and grand mothers who never had the right to speak up in open made their marriages successful . For them forgiving would have been a more continuous strategy in life, since it was not an age of financial or social independence.
The beauty of a husband wife relationship is in its strength during adverse situations and the way we help each other sail through it. We are related with everybody in any other relationships. But here we are involved with a person in every possible way, physically, mentally, spiritually... So some amount of forgiveness is necessary to the journey together to keep us stabilized and in harmony.hugsmiley

 

how to forgive and forget if its infidelity and wife has caught the husband .

 

Hi,

My case is similar to your grand-mom. But the difference is that I am well-educated, well-employed, working for an IT company. Also, My hubby takes care of me.

But he never respect me and my words and he will never take my opinion in making any decisions. He always says that I am wrong and my ideas are always is in-correct. Many a times, he had called me fit for nothing, etc. This makes me think am I really worthy or not. I totally lose my self-confidence.

Should I forgive him in this case?

During initial days of my marriage, I was forgiving and forgetting all these things. As days roll on, I feel totally humiliated and now getting wild and depressed. Nowadays, I keep shouting at him and always indulge in arguments.

But Still, We love each other and I don't want to leave him.