Forgetting And Remembering

Once I was threatened inside an ATM kiosk annexed to the bank branch:it was weekly holiday and the street was desolate around noon. It was the moment my card inserted but machine could not eject it out.

A person with helmet on darted in initially spoke kindly in an effeminate voice pretended to help me retrieve card and told to type out the pin. He (or she) sensed am hesitant. But then holding a shining stiletto near my adam’s apple, i was intimidated and that was the moment God put my mind in chaos.

Under duress, I depressed the numbers on the numeric-pad and after noting it, the person left the kiosk and me dazed. But the pin I typed was incorrect which I realised only later. Good I forgot my Pin.
Moral: under threatening circumstances people tend to forget.
The story is in link*
* Chess With My Pin

 

To add to what people forget and remember is that if someone does 99 good things and one bad thing, unfortunately human nature is such that most of us will remember that one bad thing he or she did to us. That one bad thing will outshadow the 99 other good things the same person did.

On the same note, I have seen siblings who have been raised in the same home since childhood. However, it is very surprising to note that the childhood memories of one sibling may be very different from that of the other one. One sibling may have only negative memories of their childhood whereas the other has only the positive, uplifting, happy childhood memories. It is almost shocking to believe that both lived the same childhood. That way human memory is also unique. What one person's brain chooses to filter and remember is not the same that the other person chooses to filter and remember even if they have lived the same life.

 

Well we all do agree that people remember bad and forget the good...

As an individual, we can easily make this effort to consciously remember the good and forget the bad.
It is not difficult. It is choice we make. Around 10 years ago, I made this decision.

For instance, When friend A comes and tells me something that friend B said about me (behind my back) - I immediately remember all the good things friend B helped me about.

If it is a small thing - I dont even give it importance - I just tell A - oh, thats fine - B has been a very good friend till now, it is fine... thanx for informing!

If it is something big, I openly talk to friend B and clear the misconception (or if it is a genuine mistake, I apologise) - I also inform and thank friend A that she told me, so I was able to clear it up.
I take care not to hurt either A or B and keep their secrets for them - so that their friendship or trust is not affected.

This helps me keep the peace, forget about the so-called treachery of friend B and there are no broken relationships.

If friend A comes and tells me something about friend C - just complaining in general with her own incidents - not related to me - then I just listen, let her talk and forget the story - I dont change my opinion of C.
The next time friend A says something about C, I start on a clean slate - friend A would say "I told about her the previous time" - I say I forgot it because it doesnt relate to me. Why should I store bad things in my mind - I store only good things.. You wanted to vent about C, you vented, you felt lighter - thats what was required ! I dont need to change my feelings about C !

So most of my friends know I dont gossip, even though they share gossip, they know I will not respond. So, now people know I am straight forward and never lie and they come and clear their misconceptions directly without unnecessary gossip and hurt feelings.

I always maintain that 90% people are generally good and dont want to hurt others unnecessarily (my family is not so naive and constantly warn me) - so any bad incidents - I tend to forget and forgive immediately as just ignorance or selfishness and not a vicious desire to hurt others - there is no point keeping these things in mind.

Keep smiling
HR