Fooling the Income Tax Chaps

Fooling Income tax Chaps


Today morning thenewspapers had a nice juicy tale, so juicy that even a fertile brain like mine, could never have thought up one like this. Here is the link and then my addition to the story.


EXCLUSIVE: Abhishek Singhvi in tax soup | The Indian Express



Manu Singhvi, is the congress spokesperson, and MP, and a lawyer to boot. He is the face of the congress, defending it all over the TV channels and one of the most polished and sophisticated persons, a decent face of Congress.

And today, we saw another side to him. He has a good private practice as a lawyer for top shots. And he has got into big tax troubles.


So Singhvi has been penalized 50 crores. And look at what has happened. We all cook books to inflate expenses and save on taxes, but look here what happened.

1. 5 crore was shown on purchase of laptops, for a staff of 14. IT guys assumed a laptop for 40,000, so that means some 1300 laptops were bought, that translates to rougly 100 laptops per employee per year eh ! WOW. What an employer. And so, 1.50 crores, by way of deprication was claimed. Singhvi says, so many employees came and left, so he means that even if an employee worked for a day and left the service , he is entitled to carry home a laptop ?
2. Cash vouchers, for a year , maybe 2012, there were 1800 vouchers fo the eyar, and one single day that is the end of the year 31[SUP]st[/SUP] march, itself there were 1200 vouchers on one single day.
3. Other documents he says, were eaten by termites !!!! So the income tax authourities must believe it, for he is a high tax payer !!!!!
4. Other lawyers, they claim that just 5 percent of their income is expenses and net profit is 95%, whereas Singhvi claims , his expenses are 45% percent instead of 5%.

If u and I try telling the tax authorities , that our papers were eaten by termites, so accept what we show u, I am sure we will land behind bars very soon and the key thrown away in Afghanistan. HAHA. What gall eh !


But termites bring to mind another incident, god knows how far true. Some one told me this, if true then brilliant.


A chap was caught by the tax guys and they had solid proof against this chap.He tried all ways, but the officers were honest and would not budge, and he would have landed behind bars. He tried all he could but he was introuble and he was very worried.


It was then that a peon came to him and said, sir I can help u, and not a penny u will have topay. The guy said I will take 5000 bucks from u, the papers will disappear. He did not believe it.But he had no choice , he agreed.


The peon, put termites in the file, and hid the file and whenever the date came, the peon would be absent from work that day, and that file could not be found.So date after date was given, and the peon was giving time to the termites do do their job.After a year or so, on a date the file came to the officer, who when he opened, whatever he touched turned to dust, and there was no evidence left at all.He smelt a rat, but could do nothing, for the file was in the office itself, and the chap went scotfree.


So if the file was eaten by termites bring it to the fore, the experts will piece the evidence eh !


From what I read in the papers, I think the whole thing is very amateurish. How can there be 100 laptops bought per employee ? And solar panels at inflated rates, some 20 crores or so, for what ? And I think the income tax authorities must sue Singhi for thinking that they will be that stupid to accept all these things which even a retard wont accept !!!


Well it is old ploy to try and hide from the income tax, other ingenious tricks come to mind. An actress of the sixties had a false ceiling in her bathroom , which made the tax guys suspicious, as they broke it, it rained currency eh ! Sofas were torn apart , also mattresses, and money would come out.


One chap knew a raid was imminent, he had a hanuman made of pure gold with a long curvy tail for his house temple, and told the tax guys, don’t touch it, it is a small hanuman, and whosover touches it, will be cursed, he will be a noman soon, meaning he will cease to be a man, and become a sixer or something like that, so they left the god alone.



I have a feeling, Modi is now in power, and he has the CBI, And income Tax under him. Now it is Singhvi, I guess others too are in his radar, and slowly u will find the opposition crumbling with raids and penalties, and past skeletons coming out.


Shiv Sena , take a look. From a tiger, they are not even a mouse now.From being partners in Maharashtra, they are now the leader of the opposition eh ! And now NCP has given support. Who knows Some ministers from Shiv Sena and NCP will resign, calling for reelections , and the same chaps will join BJP and contest from the same constituencies, and win and make the BJP in the majority, that is what it loos like now.


The opposition’s Bure Din aa rahe hain, slowly but surely, from the way it looks to me. Lets see.



KAMAL MAHTANI


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Husband : i m so tired today.

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Dear GG,

Well u know better eh ! HAHA

 

Dear Balaji,

in fact , like Telgi, we can do this business of termites, having agents outside the income tax offices all over india, and if they see a harried customer, call him and give him thsi idea of buying termites from us.

HAHA.

A brilliant idea Balaji, i should get a nobel for this .

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Scorpio,

Yes and balaji is thinking of opening a termite farm.HAHA