Discussion in 'Married Life' started by coolcool, Jun 6, 2007.
I am wondering, After marriage should we giveup our food habbit too???
Well... u need to inform some people Old and Young that according to general Ettiquette, one should never comment on the quantity of food anybody eats... people dont even say anything of that sort to a family member however close they are...
if someone is old and wise enuf then they shud know...
don't feel embarassed this is not a big thing to get worried, they shouldn't say so but u just neglect if it comes to ur food whatever u feel eat. As u said they were using little quantity due to financial problem it has been there habit. there is always little difference between mother and mother in law. u don't let this effect ur family life anyways. cheer up
Hey Come on.. Cheer up.. after reading your post,I feel like .. My sis is telling about her MIL's remarks..
Be strong and be stud with such people around.. Being sensitive won't get you anywhere.. Dont even let this crap of comments go to your one ear... For once score it equal with them saying.. It s bad habbit to comment on other's food.. Dont say it in front of MIl and hubby both.. Say that to both individually. I bet they wont repeat..
Sometime in marriage , You need to snatch your share of everything.. Thats what a life is.. No one gives u in the plate except parents.. Thats why :mrgreen: we love them like crazy..
Cheer Up okie.. No more bad mood..
Love n Hugss.. I guess you need it badly :tongue
For me, the scenario is revrse than u. I was a semi vegitarian before marriage and I married into a family where thay eat 4days a week nv. So after marriage I basically tasted all nv including fish,matton and shrimp. Before marriage I only ate chicken.
Now my DH stopped eating nv but I still continued to eat. He somehow stopped eatig but he never told me to stop eating nv.
So it generally depends on guys mentality. In my opinion, no one shoudn't complain about food habits, we get this habits from childhood. Suddenely we can't change ourselve.
So, talk to ur Husbend and MIl. Ask them not to cricize u. Otherwise, ask your husbend to take u to resturent every weekend. There he may not comment vigrously because that is a public place. In addition to that resturent people serve the portion big. So it won't look that much big portion for your husbend.
After a 2-3 months of regular visits to resturents, your husbend will realize that making at home is much cheaper than going out so he may stop nagging u on this. Basically it is just like tit for tat. In this way u don't have to make your point with mouth instead with your action.
Hope it helps
nice idea... :2thumbsup:
let me try this idea and see........ But I don't think they will care what I say! :bangcomp:
Anyway, thanks for giving an idea :goodidea:
"For once score it equal with them saying.. It s bad habbit to comment on other's food.. Dont say it in front of MIl and hubby both.. Say that to both individually. I bet they wont repeat.."
he he.. I am glad you liked the idea..
I always suggest my bro and sis also for their marriage stuff. and I guess i try lot of tricks in my own home too. Once my granny told me, relationships are just push-pull games..Some time they pull , sometime u shud pull too. I find it very true..
.. Keep the scroboard equal.. :2thumbsup:
You are a newly wed. Ofcourse you are, if you are worrying about this kind of stuff. Oh comeon girl, you can't let yourself down for this! Hubby just doesn't know what is funny and what is not I guess. MIL.. well I am not sure of her intentions. But whatever they may be, you be yourself. Eat what you want. If there is any adjustment it should come from you because you want to do it, not because they are harrassing you. Let them know that. You don't let what they say affect you. They way you have been brought up is different, not that they have been brought up the 'right' way! Be proud of what you are. Don't let anyone tell you what you are? Ignore their comments, feel good about yourself. Don't give them the power to make you miserable. If you decide to be happy, YOU ARE!
Its not enough if you have coolcool in your id, you really need to be cool in your attitude too. As everone here says, its not manners to comment on the quantity of foos one eats...make it very clear to everyone around..so that they know their limits.
Also, being newly married, you have to portray a very strong personality from day ONE. You can be very loving to your hubby, but that doesn't mean being liberal with him and his family and put up with all this crap. You are very young and this is the time you could eat very well...when you get little older, you may not even feel hungry to eat much. The biggest mistake most of the newly married women do is that they act as though they want to please the inlaws family to any entent from the beginning for which there is no need. You can be friendly to your inlaws and at the same time, you need to draw a line when their comments or activities hurt you in any way and you shouldn't depend on your husband to deal with these issues. You are not a kid anymore depending on parents for everything, you are married and all you need is to behave like a married woman by using diplomacy where necessary to make your point and at the same time not to antoganise the people around. It is a tact one needs to keep one peaceful anywhere. In western world, they all teach even kids how to say NO or STOP. may be you should learn that too. If you put an end for all these crap by your hubby or your MIL the very first time, then you wouldn't even consider this an issue to discuss here in our forum..as it wouldn't bother you at all.
From now on, take matters into your own hands and stop expecting hubby to come around to support you..as it may never happen!!!!!! You deal with your issues head on and then see the results...Your inlaws and hubby may not be fond of you if you do that, but atleast they will know their limits and they will stop annoying you on petty issues which will bring peace in your mind and life.
Don't try to be good girl anymore, try to be a smart, strong woman.
:wave Geeth Priya.
Hi friends, thank you all for your suggestions. When I feel very bad, I used to post my thinking here and here more brave people to help me. Anyway I am learning more and more from this site. Now I learnt how to say NO with smiling face