fil blasted me today

prebhas86 · Jun 18, 2015

Hi All ,

So my MIL is in hospital for an operation and i called up today to find out how she is doing . My FIL started telling that now only you remembered . Y did you not call up and not wish her all the best earlier . so i had guests both saturday and sunday and was totally busy and i have young kid to take care of so i was forgetful . And i have been asking my husband for updates . I did not call up earlier because she was in ICU . did i really make a mistake . WHat can i do now .
I did ask sorry to my FIL .

MalStrom · Jun 18, 2015

Your FIL must be very stressed due to your MIL's condition. If your relationship is otherwise okay, then I would let this go. You have apologized.Continue to keep calling, and don't let this become a big issue.

jaden · Jun 18, 2015

Just keep on calling and asking for updates.Later when you mil comes home and things are normal you can explain that you had inquired about mil from your hubby.Dont take this issue further.Its not worth a confrontation.

prebhas86 · Jun 18, 2015

Yes ,thank you . I was super confused and was not sure whether I genuinely made a mistake . I was overidden with guilt but I am feeling better . never wanted to blow this issue .

Ragini25 · Jun 18, 2015

MIL in surgery. Making some time for a phn call (early on) is more important than fully preparing for entertaining guests at home (you can tell guests you can do only so much since famly situation). So an apology was due to MIL and to FIL, and you did apologize. So, it will be ok, next time make sure priority is higher for such health situations.

Jazmine83 · Jun 20, 2015

send her a big bouquet of flowers to make up and apologize.

Akanksha1982 · Jun 20, 2015

I think your excuses are lame. Just think if your mother had a surgery, would you have prioritized entertaining your guest over calling your father and inquiring about her health? Being in ICU, having a surgery are serious family matters and needs to be attended to, irrespective of relationship with the person concerned or your personal equation with that person. Our neighbor's daughter is in hospital for the last 10 days and we do call her parents daily and inquire about the health and help them with running errands for them.

Hope you have realized a big mistake and shall not repeat it.

Malar27 · Jun 22, 2015

FIL was probably stressed and lashed out at you. Sametime I bet he was also glad deep inside that you called. Just keep calling FIL and get updates from him. He needs the support as well. It is always better to be proactive in such matters. Send MIL greeting cards, flowers, fruit baskets, let her know she is in your thoughts. Pay her a visit too!! If your hubby didnt make this an issue then best to avoid this topic but keep in your mind what to do in future if such situations arise again. All the best

JustLikeYou · Jun 22, 2015

Dear OP,

I don't think you did anything wrong. You did enquire about her to your husband, that pretty much what you have done with your FIL too. It's very silly of your FIL to blast you and he is just taking the stress out on you.

If you are living in the same city or closeby I am sure you will be there to help them, but living in a country different there theirs all you could do is enquire, whether you did that to your husband or FIL, the intention is same both will give the same update. Leave the matter as it is...You didnt do anything wrong...