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Few Difinitions

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by PushpavalliSrinivasan, Jul 5, 2007.

  1. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    This is a mail forwarded by yahoo group. Hope that you all will enjoy this.


    *School: *A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

    *Life Insurance: *A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that
    you can die Rich.

    *Nurse: *A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

    *Marriage: *It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
    and a woman gains her masters.

    *Divorce: *Future tense of Marriage.

    *Tears*: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by
    feminine waterpower.

    *Lecture: *An art of transferring information from the notes of the
    Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of
    either"

    *Conference: *The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

    *Compromise *: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
    believes he got the biggest piece.

    *Dictionary* : A place where success comes before work.

    *Conference Room* : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
    everybody disagrees later on.

    *Father*: A banker provided by nature.

    *Criminal:* A guy no different from the rest....except that he got
    caught.

    *Boss* : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
    early.

    *Politician* : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
    Confidence after.

    *Doctor *: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

    *Classic* : Books, which people praise, but do not read.

    *Smile* : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

    *Office*: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

    *Yawn: *The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

    *Etc*.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
    actually do.

    *Committee *: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
    decide that nothing can be done together.

    *Experience* : The name men give to their mistakes.

    *Atom Bomb*: An invention to end all inventions.

    *Philosopher *: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of
    when dead.

    Love,
    Pushpavalli
     

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