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Feeling Down....is Marriage Really Needed For A Woman

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Bestmom, Mar 2, 2017.

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  1. Mar 2, 2017 #1
    Bestmom

    Bestmom Silver IL'ite

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    Dear friends,

    I know everyone face one or the other problems in marriage life..many times I
    Wished I could be single roaming all over the world without any worries.
    Cmg to the point, my husband is very short tempered which I hate the most in him..he does have many good qualities but this outrage everything. And I get really tensed when handling some situation because he keeps on shouting... And can't
    Keep myself cool at all. At times I think I should divorce him as he does do any single help from maintaining home to taking care of kids..and it happens rarely.
    At least for the cause of kids and society, im adjusting with him...this adjustment sometimes takes toll on me..which causes fight.. I feel like my life has totally wasted, feel like dng suicide also.. But seeing my beautiful kids I can't do tat also..
    Should I really move out of this marriage to keep myself happy or shud I need to think abt kids future...
    P.s: I am not financially independent but my parents do support me if I take such decision
     
    Bestmom, Mar 2, 2017
    Bestmom, Mar 2, 2017
    #1
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  2. Mar 2, 2017 #2
    Cantdecide

    Cantdecide Silver IL'ite

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    There are a lot of factors you are facing. First have you considered counseling to help yourself sort through the depression and suicidal thoughts? That is first and foremost because that would be bad for your children and for you obviously. Next, is your husband aware of his temper and have you discussed it? Is he willing to change and consider his own actions?

    Finally, sometimes staying in an unhappy house with two unhappy parents is not what is best for children. Of course what is best for them needs to be carefully considered, but if your parents will support you and help you then they could have you, and their grandparents to help care for and love them. If the household is so bad that you are so depressed the kids can feel it too.
     
    Cantdecide, Mar 2, 2017
    Cantdecide, Mar 2, 2017
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  3. Mar 2, 2017 #3
    Bestmom

    Bestmom Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks can't decide...
    Let me give more details... Yes u r true..I started myself diverting to outside world..like having friends and its a good society culture.. So I wud least bother abt him though we fight at times.. And another
    Biggest drama is he would go fasting to prove his point even it went more than a day...for which I have to give in...
    And finally he got job transfer to his parents place..am alone with my kids happy due to studies but he is now asking to be along with his parents.. Which is another HELL..
    Don't know what will happen to me if I go there
     
    Bestmom, Mar 2, 2017
    Bestmom, Mar 2, 2017
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  4. Mar 2, 2017 #4
    Cantdecide

    Cantdecide Silver IL'ite

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    If he wants to fast then let him fast - he'll eventually eat. It's manipulative of him to try to get his way in this manner and very immature.

    If you don't want to move in with his parents, move in with yours. If you are already so unhappy you are considering suicide without the added burden of his family, then for your own health you need to seriously consider your other options rather than moving in with him.
     
    Cantdecide, Mar 2, 2017
    Cantdecide, Mar 2, 2017
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  5. Mar 2, 2017 #5
    Bestmom

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    Its 1am..still am weeping down in my pillows.. We are having other constraints financially.. So he is insisting to move in for a yr or 2.. am totally against this..but he is not giving any options.. He says adjustment has to be made in life.. But O god..not at the cost of my mental peace..
     
    Bestmom, Mar 2, 2017
    Bestmom, Mar 2, 2017
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  6. Mar 2, 2017 #6
    Bestmom

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    It is so stupid nature..he uses this to his parents too.. I normally accept then brief my point after he calms down
     
    Bestmom, Mar 2, 2017
    Bestmom, Mar 2, 2017
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  7. Mar 2, 2017 #7
    penpaal

    penpaal Gold IL'ite

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    Hi @Bestmom how old is your kids ? Is it possible for you to get a job ? You can ask your parents to support untill you get a job .
    You are not at all happy with your husband . In this scenario if you goto in laws place it will be more dramatic and stressful..
     
    penpaal, Mar 2, 2017
    penpaal, Mar 2, 2017
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  8. Mar 2, 2017 #8
    Bestmom

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    True.. Am very sure I will not be happy if I go there.. Its been long break since my pass out
    My kids are 10 & 3 yrs old.. And I need to move in with parents which is a small city..
    My future is totally unknown
     
    Bestmom, Mar 2, 2017
    Bestmom, Mar 2, 2017
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  9. Mar 2, 2017 #9
    Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    I can see your problem.
    How is your personal relationship with your husband. Is he always short tempered.Do you have a separate bank account for savings.
     
    Sunshine04, Mar 2, 2017
    Sunshine04, Mar 2, 2017
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  10. Mar 2, 2017 #10
    penpaal

    penpaal Gold IL'ite

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    @Bestmom would it be possible for your parents to come and stay with you? And you can take some training .. I know it's not easy to get job but seems like being financially independent is the only way to go for you..

    Don't worry be courageous..
     
    penpaal, Mar 2, 2017
    penpaal, Mar 2, 2017
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