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Feeling Depressed

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by dhivyacc, Feb 26, 2019.

  1. dhivyacc

    dhivyacc Silver IL'ite

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    My granny(maternal) passed away four days before.
    I wished someone should be there during her last moments but it dint happen and she left while no one nearby. both mom and dad took care of her. she was bed ridden in her native village. somehow and somewhere its killing me like anything,
    I live 400 kms away. the thought is killing me even though i went for her last rights since i could not make it during her last moments. i feel its a big sin. could not overcome it. could not share to anyone as my mother and father already depressed.
    she had a big hope on me she was such a loving and caring person.
     
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  2. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    I faced the exact same situation. My grandma died all alone while parents were away. For quite sometime I was tormented by thoughts of how her final moments must have been . But my belief in afterlife helped me get peace after a while. Now i believe she is Ina happier place and acts like my guardian angel. Read up on near death experiences , might help. Suggest a book by Anita moorjani .
     
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  3. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Same situation but I am in the USA.
    Grandma passed away and could not come due to
    Personal reasons and until
    Now my relatives taunt me how I was selfish and not missing my grand mom who doted on me...

    But my love for grandma was real unlike the other relatives
     
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  4. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    Don't let people dictate what you should or should not do or how you are or feel. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Don't let your relatives lay a guilt trip on you. In India people have the wrong notion that USA means everything comes easy and plenty of money. You barely find time and expenses are also high here with taxes and all different insurances. Your grandma knows and no one else has to know.
     
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  5. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    I too was not available when my grandfather fell seriously sick..and before I could visit in hospital he passed away..i felt so bad..
    But what to do...these days so much uncertainty we can't predict when some elderly person gets health problem and breathes their last..some maybe healthy and no medical problem..but pass away in sleep also..
    In such case apart from primary care giver who is Looking after the elder, all other family members can reach only after getting the news right...
    But remember one thing, even if you werent physically present during the passing away of your grand mum, you both love each other a lot and definitely she would have thought about you during her last days..,maybe even last hours of life...her blessings will always be with you and she would be watching over you from heaven..
     
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  6. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    The last words my grand mom spoke to me even in her unconscious state was my name...

    She kept muttering my name...:(
     
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  7. GlobetrotterG

    GlobetrotterG Silver IL'ite

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    Usually grandma's and grandpa's have a lot of affection for grandchildren. Because at that age, they are the ones who feel good when they spend time with grandchildren, and we too develop a bond with grandparents. So, this in turn is making you feel guilty, which is quite natural. If you are not aware of this fact, this could turn to depression. to feel that way.
     
  8. GlobetrotterG

    GlobetrotterG Silver IL'ite

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    Well said. One thing i usually do during my vacation in india , is that if i know that if a elder relative is approaching their last moments, during my vacation i spend some time with them whenever i am near their place.
     
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  9. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    Making a priority to see your elder relatives is very important, especially, if you are outside the country. For one, if they pass away, you had a chance to be with them and talk to them and your elder relative had the pleasure to be with you and enjoy your company before their passing. You and your elder relative can cherish that memory. It is very meaningful to spend time with elder relative when they are still healthy and able to enjoy your company.
     
  10. vijayan13680

    vijayan13680 Bronze IL'ite

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    1) Write a letter to your grandma .... and express your thoughts ...

    2) Visit an old age home and just speak to the people there / gift them anything ....

    It really helps ..

    Try it and let me know ... if its any good.
     
    Afresh and dhivyacc like this.

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