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Feeling angry and frustrated about past isssues...

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by generic, Mar 21, 2014.

  1. generic

    generic Gold IL'ite

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    I'm married to my DH (love marriage) from 3 yrs...No kids as yet. From the beginning, I noticed that my DH's parents, siblings and relatives are playing important role in his life...I got married very young before even receiving undergraduate degree, at that time I was very naive, innocent and not having much worldly knowledge or maturity to handle responsibilities of married life and relationships..I was a typical obedient girl who dint answer back. MIL as well as some of PIL side relatives made sure that they interfered as much as possible in our life as they also were staying with us for some time...They interfered in my personal life with my hubby to some extent and made some unpleasant remarks about me...Due to misunderstandings created by them, for sometime I had many bitter fights with my husband...For a long time (almost 2 yrs) I suffered silently, but after sometime I also started protesting, answering back and distancing myself from those relatives...only then the torture reduced... Now I make sure I avoid the people who troubled me in the past. But I get regular updates about relatives regularly thru in-laws...I always get some good news about them like- someone is expecting a baby, someone is going on an exotic vacation, etc...And this makes me angry and jealous...The thing is, all the mental stress that I faced in past has deteriorated my health a lot and affected my confidence to such an extent that I sometimes feel that I cannot achieve anything...Now I have delayed having babies due to few personal and health issues...And after hearing that the same people who troubled me are living happily and doing so well is only increasing my anger and frustration...Whenever I meet any of them i'm filled with anger and jealousy after remembering how they had troubled me...I have tried all possible methods to control my anger,..But no use. Actually I'm not a jealous person, only recently I've become like this...How to deal with this? please advice.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2014
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  2. Marun

    Marun Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Generic,

    First and foremost mistake you are doing is don't compare yourself with others. Let them be happy and don't think much about how they are doing! That will make you ill further. I would say forget about them and have a happy life. Look after your health and see how you can give a birth! concentrate on your health and heal from all illness. That is the primary task you should work on. Not thinking about someone who did bad to you.

    If all in world start thinking about their past villians being good, they all will die out of jealous and stomach burn!
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. nalinidiv

    nalinidiv Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi.. dont worry its normal to feel like dis when ur stressed out but whats the use dear?? it doesnt add even a grain to ur peace of mind.. just dont hold urself in the past.. try to forget things.. everybody has a life they deserve based on the right and wrong things they do.. please start believing in it completely..it may give u some solace... as of now.. u ahve taken the right decision to distance ur relatives to remain sane... but dont try to think of the past n ruin ur peace of mind... if u have lot of free time channelise ur energy into a hobby or pursue something which u like... oce u divert ur energy.. u wudnt be thinkin abt these so called relatives der current situation n ur suffering sin the past.
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    dear generic,
    Happiness is the best revenge!!!!

    Don't get even,get better!!!!
     
    8 people like this.
  5. generic

    generic Gold IL'ite

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    :wow...........
     
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  6. shantana

    shantana Platinum IL'ite

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    yes, generic. i agree with YM. u have to show to others how happy ur are with ur life and mainly with ur husband. start going with ur dh for short trips and show the world that u're happy. dont potray urself as a loser to others.
    i do the same to my sil. i show how happy i am with my dh, with my kids and love going out.
     
    sindmani and generic like this.
  7. DinkyManoj

    DinkyManoj Silver IL'ite

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    The best way to make take revenge is to be ten times more happier than them and that's in your hands.stop feeling bad bout what's happened don't worry there always god watching from above and he knows when to punish so leave it in his hands and live your life like theres no tomorrow .
     
    2 people like this.
  8. Sneheth

    Sneheth Bronze IL'ite

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    First thing I noticed from your post is u r going through depression.(you said u lost confidence in yourself)caz no one are on your side.
    There are lot of bad friends(jealousy,angry,hatred etc) which come along with depression.
    So fight against this depression first.
    Divert yourself and involve in learning something which you love.
    Belive in karma.love yourself.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2014
    1 person likes this.

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