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Feelig very disturbed

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Cool10, Apr 16, 2015.

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  1. Apr 17, 2015 #21
    abla

    abla Gold IL'ite

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    May be you should do this .Or just stop working for couple of months like going on an unpaid vacation . What is he going to do ? Starve ?
     
    abla, Apr 17, 2015
    abla, Apr 17, 2015
    #21
    1 person likes this.
  2. Apr 17, 2015 #22
    coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    somehow i felt that these drama of in laws when DIL takes stand against something wrong and husband taking sides of in-laws and finding fault with wife while he knows very well that his parents are wrong is to supress the revolt of DIL...
    if DIL stands on her ground no matter what ...others bow down soon when they see tht their drama is ineffective....
    if i would have been at your place....i would have stopped doing everything(be it financial or household chore whatever) for the in laws....by giving the reason that the people who calls me thief i cant do anything for them...my self respect doesnt allow it...and continue dharna like this until in laws try to mend their behaviour...
     
    coolgal123, Apr 17, 2015
    coolgal123, Apr 17, 2015
    #22
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  3. Apr 18, 2015 #23
    pear

    pear Gold IL'ite

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    How about your co-sis ,she too working?
     
    pear, Apr 18, 2015
    pear, Apr 18, 2015
    #23
  4. Apr 18, 2015 #24
    curiousgals78

    curiousgals78 Gold IL'ite

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    i liked the idea from coolgal123
     
    curiousgals78, Apr 18, 2015
    curiousgals78, Apr 18, 2015
    #24
  5. Apr 18, 2015 #25
    indubalram

    indubalram IL Hall of Fame

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    And this is what she wanted and you gave it to her. But sometimes it is hard to hold back our temper.
     
    indubalram, Apr 18, 2015
    indubalram, Apr 18, 2015
    #25
  6. Apr 18, 2015 #26
    Cool10

    Cool10 Silver IL'ite

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    It will create a huge fight. They threatened to leave. I didn't react. They continued saying the same thinking I will apologize and fall on their feet to stay. I didn't react at all and ignored. Now they retracted their statement themselves and are going to stay more.

    I am just talking to them minimally saying Namaste and all. Remaining time I am trying not even to stay in the room where they sit.
     
    Cool10, Apr 18, 2015
    Cool10, Apr 18, 2015
    #26
  7. Apr 18, 2015 #27
    Cool10

    Cool10 Silver IL'ite

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    She is not working and she doesn't have parents too. Hence she has no support system to stand against this abuse.
     
    Cool10, Apr 18, 2015
    Cool10, Apr 18, 2015
    #27
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  8. Apr 19, 2015 #28
    jaden

    jaden Gold IL'ite

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    Listen you cannot allow this at all.This is sheer abuse.I dont know which household they give the entire salary to inlaws???Try talking to your hubby about buying the property in yours and his name.Dont even bother discussing this with inlaws.They shouldnt know.Do you have any kids???If yes probably try making small investments in their name like insurance,where the money will be given to them for the college funds etc.Also if there is a girl child you can buy jewelry ,for her marriage.With the way gold rates have plummeted over the years,this is a good plan to think
     
    jaden, Apr 19, 2015
    jaden, Apr 19, 2015
    #28
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  9. Apr 22, 2015 #29
    Cool10

    Cool10 Silver IL'ite

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    We cannot buy property without ILs knowledge. Hubby insists on sharing each and every detail of our life with them.

    For example: I wanted to buy a small kitchen wall fan as it is very hot here. DH immediately informed ILs. It became such a huge point of discussion as to why I need the fan (no need for fan in kitchen as per them), try to get second hand fan, buy the cheapest one etc surrendersmiley.

    We don't have kids yet. If any small item of gold has to be bought for me, an issue will be created and full tantrum from MIL. Also MIL and SIL have to be given a larger article first from our money. Till now DH gave me only 2 bangles (because I got a much more expensive diamond ring for him on our anniversary), light neck piece, small ring and mangalsutra - this includes what they put in marriage. At the time of purchase of bangles, MIL got 6 bangles and SIL also got 2. Still they wanted mine.



    On the other hand, MIL and SIL will get gold on each and every festival, birthday, anniversary etc.
     
    Cool10, Apr 22, 2015
    Cool10, Apr 22, 2015
    #29
  10. Apr 22, 2015 #30
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    OP.....put your foot down and bring down the bloody house.What good is having peace in a house where you are the bread winner(since your husband earns only for his family) but cannot even buy a fan to be comfortable in the kitchen where you make food for that husband of yours.

    Why do you tolerate all this?Why do you have to ask for a fan...just go and buy one.
    Why ask for gold?You earn money...just go and buy and put in your locker or keep it locked....away from the eyes of the shameless mother and sister.
    Make FDs in your name.

    Just buy rice and dal...make only rice and dal once a day and put it on the table.Let him eat it three times a day.You can have some fun food at the office.Tell him you have no more money.
    Tell him to pay at least rent....electricity and telephone bills.

    You work at home and outside home.
    Your husband is dependent on your salary to live and your housekeeping skills to have a life.Stop being a doormat.You are the man and the woman in this marriage.....act like one.
     
    yellowmango, Apr 22, 2015
    yellowmango, Apr 22, 2015
    #30
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