Feel Like I’m A Spider Tangled Between Husband And I Laws

@Goahead why do you care about inheritance ?
You seem to hate your in-laws for no specific reason. Your in-laws have every right to treat their kids differently as long as their kids have no problem with it . Your husband is fine with this arrangement why do you care.
Girl make money on your own and enjoy your life. Don't depend on wealth from in-laws.

 

Mangaii, it’s not about wealth, it’s the expectations.
My inlaws treat my husband like ****. They’ve never given us a penny. They are wealthy, but all their life they spent money on keeping their useless daughter happy. Their choice.

We struggled a lot to keep 2 jobs when the children were very young. Paid for childcare x2, while stay-at-home SIL got a lot of support. Their choice.

They expect us to drop everything and help them when they need support. We can’t (I won’t). My choice? Yes, my choice! They don’t seem to get that!
SIL doesn't help. She is “busy” with the kids.

What it means is, if they decide to play the favourites game, they need to understand and accept the consequences too. They can’t have it both ways. SIL must look after them.

 

2 different user ids.

slow down and break it down on what is bothering. if your dh has been given good education and so do you. it is on you both to build your life and implement good financial saving habits. if money is the only issue you are wondering about.

if you are not living with ILs , your issues are not as big as you might wonder.

you need to explain more clearly on what actually is the problem.

 

@Goahead,

I can relate well with your feelings. In our household, if any of my extended family members would like to only interact with me and exclude my wife in pleasantaries or regular interactions, then, I stop interacting with them. This has been the rule in our family since my wedding in 1983. Your inlaws family needs to learn to accept your family as one unit and not collection of individuals where they can pick their choices. If they don't care about you, your husband should stand up for you. As long as he is nice to them ignoring their indifference with you, they would continue to disrespect you. You can't stand up for yourself by screaming at them as it would only make them feel goodo that they got you under your skin. It is your husband who should stand up for you. If it is difficult for him to do it after so many years, he needs to learn to deal with it himself and not force you to do pleasing things to your inlaws. It is not one way traffic and love needs to be received and shared from both ways.

I am not suggesting your husband should give up his parents or sister but there is nothing wrong in having this relationship and yet stand up for you. In fact, he needs to first start doing things for your sister and BIL before even asking you to do pleasing of your inlaws. He needs to understand your relationship with your sister and BIL is as important as his relationship with your inlaws.

I know every parent would like their adult children to love each other. But these parents should realize that they can only facilitate this process only by treating both of them equally well including their spouses. If your inlaws are wealthy, they can do whatever they like to do for their daughter but your husband has a family and your children's future has to be the focus. If it is for looking after the parents, it is different than looking after a married sister. I wish you all the best.