And herein lies the problem. You are his wife, not his jailor or probation officer. The fact that these thoughts are passing through your head shows there is a major issue of trust going on. I asked before that has he given you reason to suspect him? Has he had an affair or flirted with some one? You wrote that he does not have inappropriate talk with his female colleagues. Then why do you object to him talking to them? I have been married for many many yrs. In all that time I have not once looked at my husband's e-mails, or ever even picked up his cell phone to check on the calls he has made. I had a lot of issues in the early yrs of my married life and a great deal of unhappiness, but even then I did not check up on him. Everyone is entitled to their privacy and you are violating his by questioning him at every turn. [/QUOTE] Pick up and drop off the kids yourself. Take your second child and get him ready. That way it will give you some activity and get you out of the house and make you interact with others even if it is for a short time. You have two children, there should be more than enough to keep you occupied. Go for long walks with your children every day. Limit your media time to 1-1/2 hrs a day (put on a timer if you have to tell you when to stop). Go to the library at least twice a week, join a book group or something. Take up a project and aim to get it completed every week, maybe some book you will read, or some decoration work to complete, anything to occupy your mind. Stop looking at the forums with cheating husbands and projecting bad qualities on to your husband. If you read somewhere that a husband murdered his wife would you think your hubby was trying to kill you? Create an identity for yourself separate from your husband. Right now it seems you are focused on him all the time. Finally remember: it is perfectly O.K for a man to talk to other women at work, about movies, news, latest gossip etc. Just because you did not do it does not mean he should not. It is also o.k. to go to lunch with a colleague of the opposite sex and to talk with other women in your presence. It is completely abnormal and inappropriate to go through a spouse's e-mails, phone calls, think suspiciously about them all the time. Once trust is lost in a marriage there is almost no hope. You have a very unhealthy idea about male female relationships. You will have to work very very hard to change yourself, and may even need professional help to change your behavior. I have known people who have gone to behavioral therapists to seek change and it does produce very good results. Good luck!