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Family Values and Marriage

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by justanothergirl, Sep 30, 2015.

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  1. Oct 14, 2015 #21
    Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    @justanothergirl,

    I missed this post for a while.

    I heard a lot as a child about discipline, education, humility, honesty, respect & trust.

    Question 1: I couldn't think of anything in particular besides your comprehensive list.

    Question 2: Acceptance, Caring, Discipline, Education, Honesty, Humility, Love, Respect, Spirituality & Trust. We also consider kindness, forgiveness and sincerity important.

    Question 3: Acceptance, Caring, Honesty and Respect.

    Question 4: We have not tried this but more or less it would match with the list

    Question 5: Honestly, I drift away from the core values more than any other family members. Mostly I analyze way too much than needed. But my wife is a great blessing for me and she brings me back into the fold. If I have to rank, I would rank my wife first and my son second and I will be the last as of now.

    Our life changed dramatically after we got deep into spirituality much later in life and we learned service and compassion from our son. We learned providing selfless service is the greatest joy in life.

    Viswa
     
    Viswamitra, Oct 14, 2015
    Viswamitra, Oct 14, 2015
    #21
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  2. Oct 16, 2015 #22
    justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    @Viswamitra Thanks for your perspective.
    Life with a child is truly a learning experience. :thumbsup
     
    justanothergirl, Oct 16, 2015
    justanothergirl, Oct 16, 2015
    #22
  3. Oct 17, 2015 #23
    Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    JAG,

    Quite interesting. Let me try and answer your questions the way you have phrased them. I know you want to us share more but then like many others, I have never thought of it honestly and so your lead is a good place to start!

    For me the top most is to live in wonder, as in joyful wonder - that there is something to learn, something of value no matter, nothing is really unimportant and that everything has it's place in the universe and hence there is wonder and just move on. Will that be considered a value?

    Acceptance, Creativity, Generosity, Money, Gentleness, Moderation
    Helpfulness,Patience,Education, Honesty,Thankfulness, Perseverance, Compassion, Roots Courage, Love, Sincerity - not in any particular order (I just deleted from your list) and oh boy! that is more than 10.
    Love, Education, creativity and sincerity!
    Probably, hopefully! But that is certainly what I think we are keeping as priorities as family!

    I have to say that this has set the ball rolling and I am sure I will be back to share more!
     
    Srama, Oct 17, 2015
    Srama, Oct 17, 2015
    #23
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  4. Oct 17, 2015 #24
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    JAG,

    Have been reading this thread since it started, but honestly the answers didn't come... even thought a bit, but, mind was blank. That was scary a bit. : ) As with other parenting scares, the monster became less scary after some mulling and in-perspective putting.

    1) If u could list the values that are dear to your heart and add to this list
    what would they be? There is not right set that works .Just a set that works for that family.
    Simplicity and hard work or effort. Very very difficult to explain. Simplicity in life/living, no complicated plans/planning, and almost always putting in best effort. Not very inspiring or 'noble' values these, but those define the values we both come from, and unwittingly those are part of our family.

    2) If you had to choose the top 10 values from this What would they be?
    Note to self: friday and you are answering this.. you are so masochistic.
    Top 10 from that compilation would be:
    Career Money Moderation Education Perseverance Thoughtfulness Commitment
    Confidence Excellence Respect Contentment Responsibility Courage Service Courtesy

    "Contentment" would be top. Rest are just in order of original list.

    3)Of the 10 if u had to absolutely pick the top 4 ...pillars on which ur marriage and family will be built/is built what would they be?
    Contentment, Moderation, Courage, Perseverance

    4) If u did this exercise with ur DH and kids..do u think you will come up with a list thats pretty darned close to yours?
    No way! In my family, they propose, I dispose. :coffee Hard to explain. That is how it is. And we all like it that way. Meaning, all are more than happy for me to be the implementor/decider/doer.. whatever.

    5)And here is the real HW :)
    How close do your actions model the core values listed...
    U do not have to answer this ..:)
    I did do reverse-engineering... Listed values that model my actions. :oops:
    Is that cheating?! We do happen to model contentment and simplicity... some call that lazy/ unambitious........

    Tips on all the little things you and your family do stand by these...are most welcome..funny/inspiring stories too...!
    We consciously and naturally avoid the rat race, and pressure that most of our friends seem to put on kids and themselves to excel. Old car, old clothes, old job, old us... do your best at school and outside and work etc.. but don't kill yourself doing that.. aim for the stars.. but mind the pulled muscle as you reach..

    But above all this - gist of us is that I model to my daughter the importance of emotional and financial independence (I don't think gender things are going to change much in next 1-2 decades), and son has a good role model in his dad.

    Nice thread. I am left feeling not so unproud of myself as a parent!
     
    Rihana, Oct 17, 2015
    Rihana, Oct 17, 2015
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  5. Oct 20, 2015 #25
    justanothergirl

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    Beautiful Sabi..and thats exactly the feeling I am left with after reading each one of snippets!!
     
    justanothergirl, Oct 20, 2015
    justanothergirl, Oct 20, 2015
    #25
  6. Oct 20, 2015 #26
    justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    By far one of the hardest to teach and live by. A shade less and you fall into the danger of not trying to achieve ur full potential and a shade more and you fall into the vicious loop of constantly coveting things we do not have and believing that there in lies the key to our happiness.
     
    justanothergirl, Oct 20, 2015
    justanothergirl, Oct 20, 2015
    #26
  7. Oct 25, 2015 #27
    Pallavi235

    Pallavi235 New IL'ite

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    Love, trust, respect are the most important
     
    Pallavi235, Oct 25, 2015
    Pallavi235, Oct 25, 2015
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  8. Nov 13, 2015 #28
    susree

    susree New IL'ite

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    My father is a well-known person of the locality. He is a lawyer, who commands good practice. He performs his duties with honesty. He is generous and liberal. He is almost always busy. He also spends about an hour in our garden. Gardening is his hobby. Sometimes on holidays he takes us to the cinema. He also takes interest in our education. I love my father.

    My mother takes care of the house. She plans the family budget. She is not very modern. She is a religious lady. She goes to the temple every morning. On sacred days, she takes us all to the temple. She is a vegetarian and observes fast on every Tuesday. My grandfather always praises her. She, on her part, serves him as a daughter.

    I am a student of the 9th class. I am good at studies. My father loves me very much. I love my younger brothers and sisters and help them in their studies.

    My younger brother, Bablu, is very naughty. He tears pages from my books and spoils my exercise books. All of us love him. He is fond of talking and playing outdoor games. It is a pleasure to play with him. My sister, Ruchi, is interested in painting. She has won several awards for her painting skills. Ajay is fond of kite-flying. My two sister, Madhu and Rukmini are shy girls. Madhu is a bookworm. She always stands first in her class. She has won many prizes. We all like one another and live happily together.
     
    susree, Nov 13, 2015
    susree, Nov 13, 2015
    #28
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  9. Dec 18, 2015 #29
    manju0588

    manju0588 New IL'ite

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    Family...it seems to be small word but it means a lot
    with out family what iam,where iam...
    its horrible to imagine.
    mother,father,wife,husband,children,sisters,brothers everyone is important in life
    a small bird can also have a family,it builts a house with sticks for her babies...all mother and baby go to under one roof at evening
    we cant tell it in words how worth a family is
     
    manju0588, Dec 18, 2015
    manju0588, Dec 18, 2015
    #29
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