1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Liked anything that you read here? You may nominate it as the Finest Posts!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  5. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

facing problems

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Bnu01, Jan 31, 2010.

  1. Bnu01

    Bnu01 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    hi im living in bangalore.my husband is a suspecting character.whatever i do he takes in wrong sense and trusts me like that.if i talk to him abt this he gets irritated and beats me but he is suspecting me unnecesarily.he is not understanding me.he thinks i lie to him even if i tell him the truth.he is also not accepting that he is suspecting like that but pinpointing indirectly as if i did wrong.why cant he talk to me frankly about anything.its too much hurting me if he tells indirectly anything bad abt me.please give me a solution how to live with such a person who wrongly judges everything, suspects as much as he can,not believing in what he should believe,blindly suspecting me,not accepting that he is wrong,blaming me as if im mistaking him.he is so sulking.
    if anybody can give me her mailid i can tell what the problem is since it is embarrassing for me.please give me advices regarding.

    Moderator : Exchanging email ids and personal information is not allowed. Please do not do it or encourage others to do so, too. You never know whose hands you would be getting in to. Please be careful.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 1, 2010
    Loading...

  2. vimala1957

    vimala1957 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    331
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    25
    Gender:
    Female
    HEY,
    very painful to know what you are undergoing. Marriage is an institution that totally stands on trust. If he suspects you so much, and beats and ill treats you, it is really difficult.
    You must stop him from beating and hurting you. Tell him that if there is any problem you must sit and talk and find a solution. He must not beat or use hurting words. But I know such people would not understand things straight away.

    You must be a little bold and protect yourself. Stand for yourself. The more you tolerate his doings, the more he will take you for granted. No husband has any rights to beat a wife, understand that.

    I do not know if you are working. But if not ,you must find a job and learn to be independent.
    I wish you come out of your troubles and lead a good life.
     
  3. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,284
    Likes Received:
    28
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Male
    Pick early warning signs, many people before marriage dont pick it , also after marriage we sulk but not want to do things that would eventually be done out of fear and bring kids into picture.

    the signs you have mentioned is of a maniac.,suspecting, beating you....be bold and plan a move out, either temporary until he acknowledges and changes or for good..

    Personalities dont change.....Behavior may be...

     
  4. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,937
    Likes Received:
    1,465
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Hello Dear,

    Check your husband has any Physiological disorder even before the marriage.Lot of parents do hide this and get married the people and believe everything will be ok aftert the marraige.Since you mentioned about suspecious about everything it reminds me about my BIL.He has Physiological disorder and he got married and he not even allowed his wife just outside the door.
    The first thing,next time if he raise the hand just tell him you will complaint to womens cell.Please stand up and take nessary steps.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2010
  5. Bnu01

    Bnu01 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    yes priya u are right i think he has some pshcological disorder he is blindly coming to a conclusion,always thinking in a negative manner,not believing what all he should believe in instead believing in negative things thinking that if he takes it positive as if he is cheated n should not take things for granted but i think he is cheating himself by not believing the truths even.he is not accepting any wrong of him acting as if he dint do anything,he is concentrating in his cleverness,he wants to be clever only to everyone.he loves n trusts only his parents in this whole world.isnt it nessary to trust his wife.im very sensitive n emotional he is not understanding.he thinks im grudging on him if he does anything wrong to me but im not like that im only trying to make him understand.is there any way to change a person who is suspecting unnessrily.i have a 8months old girl baby,it is now 3 yrs of my married life,i realy cannot tolerate hie beatings even i told him i will complaint to police if u beat me but he is not changing.if he gets irritated he beats me so badly. he can think only negatively about whatever i do n judge me wrongly,now started suspecting me to the core which is very unbearable for me,atleast if he accepts waht he thinks we can sit n talk.only im struggling in explaining him what it is all the time but instead of believing me he is finding faults only.should i ignore him all the time if he pinpoints indirectly anything wrong abt me or keep on telling him that u are only mistaking me for nothing or what should i do.if anyone can tell me how to deal with him it would be helpfull for me
     
  6. Bnu01

    Bnu01 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    sorry for that,not aware of it
     
  7. crossiants

    crossiants Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    396
    Likes Received:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    god gives u paitience and courage my dear,its veyr hard to bear physical abuse by husbands.what about your family and his family?r they not supporting u dear?why r u bearing all this.we shall all pray for u,god gives u stregth
     
  8. Bnu01

    Bnu01 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    everyone knows but what to do there is no use and i have even warned him but he is very short tempered and beats me without courtesy.bu is there any way of solving.please let me know
     
  9. Bnu01

    Bnu01 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    i have a 8 months old girlbaby.i dont know what to do
     

Share This Page