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Extra marital relationships

Discussion in 'Cheeniya's Senile Ramblings' started by Cheeniya, May 9, 2007.

  1. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamal
    Yes, Balu Mahendra is the guy who wers a cap always. They say that he is good at 'capping' others too particularly women! But he is one hell of a story teller and it is difficult not to like that chap!

    Kamal, I know only too well that your wife is the greatest admirer of your blogs and it is impossible to think of any other lady to admire your writings more than her. So, I am sorry to say that you may have to find some other reason for, ahem again, you know what!
    Sri
     
  2. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri
    You have a strong point there! Of course, we are discussing here the extreme cases of incompatibility where the partners are mutually intolerant of each other. Mercifully, more than 99% of these cases reconcile easily to each other over a period of time. Only a very small percentage tend to go astray on this account.

    It is normal for extremely talented artists, musicians, sportspersons and the like to wilt under the feeling of incompatibility and develop such relationship with some of their ardent fans.

    Most men and for that matter women thankfully do not indulge in such activities that will earn them 'fans'!
    Sri
     
  3. Malathijagan

    Malathijagan Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Cheeniya sir,
    I loved these lines in your column-
    I feel that very rarely do we come across an ideal couple or 'Adasha Dhampathigal' Most of the time it is compromise. For example, in my own case, my hubby loves sports and English movies and as far as I am concerned I am like the Bairavi of 'Sindhubairavi'-"Kilo enna vilai!" I love music, poetry,literature and nature. For him, this is kilo enna vilai! But still we get along well. Neither do I expect him to take a love for my likings nor does he. We share common interests, that is going out on holidays to some lovely places and relax in each others company along with the kids.The other days are routine as it would be for every one. As long as we love each other, not for this or that reason but for the very joy of love, there can be no problem. Extra-marital affairs can happen only where there is perversive mind beyond the common interests of the two concerned people.May be I am mistaken in this opinion of mine.
    Cheeniya sir,
    I have a question for Balu Mahendra, if he happens to read this! "Have you ever tried to find out what your wife's interests are? Most of the time you would have been away from home directing films and that is how you must have met Mounika in one of the sets. Would you have taken your wife to the shooting spots for the other men to ogle at her?"
    Love,
    Malathi
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2008
  4. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri,

    Dont be a spoilsport.You see variety is the spice of life, i am looking for a reason to become Balu Mahendru.HAHA.Regards.kamal
     
  5. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Malathi
    You have brought out very beautifully the meaning of love. When love reigns supreme, incompatibilities disappear like the morning dew upon the advent of Sun in the morning sky. Love, indeed, is a great leveller. If it can not iron out differences, nothing else can, not even an extra-marital relationship. In many cases of EMR, I have observed that the alternative person selected on the reason of incompatibility is much worse than the legally wedded wife! As you rightly point out, love should enable us to see excellence in each other. If we learn to do that, there will be no question of incompatibility ever.

    Your question to Balu Mahendra is very pertinent and I am sure that he will have no answer. From time immemorial, it is the man who normally makes a mountain of the molehill of incompatibility. He never stops to consider even for a minute how incompatible his wife may find him!
    Sri
     
  6. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamal
    If you want to become Balu Mahendra, you ought to become bald first so that you can start wearing his cap proudly. We'll think about the rest later on!
    Sri
     
  7. svrlax

    svrlax Senior IL'ite

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    I know I am not much of the maturity to take up this topic and pen my thoughts but still I see lots of people around me to correct me if I am wrong. So itake the priviledge of them to key in my thoughts.

    Yes I had a same experience as santhosh had where the guy was a mainland chinese guy, who often repeats the question of how our arrange marriages work in India and end up successful with lesser divorce rates. I could never convince him or make him believe that it a fact and it cannot be transformed.

    Now I hear you people saying hey are you dsaying all marriages who stay together are living happily and an another set of people asking me just for the rest of the world to set an example should we live in horrible conditions. I also hear you saying, this guy is beating around the bush.

    Yes I usually like to tell a story when I would put my thoughts. this topic is so delicate so i will take a different stride I will give some examples from our high school chemistry. hey I am not speaking about the body chemistry of the chemical locha that happens during those ages. Instead about the chemical compunds in the periodic table. Dont worry I will try to make it interesting

    I know that all of you know about sodium( Sodium - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ) and chlorine( Chlorine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ) where both are different from each other for various reasons. but when they decided to appreciate their differences and recognize where they can compliment each other they ended up in a compund called Sodium chloride (NaCl got much more famous amoung the common tamilian after dasavatharam) the common salt. Sodium chloride - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    The second most important thing in married life is well said by the example of Sodium peroxide Sodium peroxide - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia . Where it is a danngerous highly inflamable compund when used in our atmosphere but when the same is used in stratosphere it gaurds our ozone layer from depleting Method of reducing the destruction of ozone in the earth's stratosphere by the removal of chlorine, chlorine monoxide radicals, and catalytic aerosols - US Patent 5376346 .

    Our home is also like our earth when you use few things at the right moment and at the right place we can mine the best of it.

    So as Edward de Bono(If i remeber it right) says let concentrate on the circle of influences that on the circle of problems and concern . Neither balumahendra would have had a twist in his life or either shivakumar would have got himself inclined towards suhasini as charecters in the movie

    PS: I have added links on each chemical compunds as its good to learn from the masters than me as I have always scored less than 75% in chemistry exams :) . Its to gaurd myself as the near and dear of mine who know me personally from my school days will not believe my writings on chemistry as they know my academic performance in the subject.
     
  8. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear svrlax
    First of all, let me congratulate you on your selection of an exquisite signature line. It is really very profound. When we are in pain, it is an indication that God wants us to win. This is something that I'll always remember.

    Coming to your chemistry, I shuddered at your very mention of chemical names. My chemistry phobia is over 5 decades old. My confusion between valency and valiance remains unresolved till date. I bade farewell to chemistry after my pre-graduation level but I still remember with a feeling of horror how I faced my chemistry exams! After my shuddering stopped, I read your FB again and found that you had made some worthy comparison between chemical reactions and family relationships. You are indeed right when you say that "Our home is also like our earth when you use few things at the right moment and at the right place we can mine the best of it."

    Edward Bono is reported to be the father of Lateral Thinking Technique. Much of our creativity depends on our ability to think laterally. When we see an incident in a market place, others may dismiss it as the 'run of the mill' stuff but the lateral thinker will write a blog about it like Kamalji reviewing news items!

    Thanks for your excellent FB, lax and I am particularly impressed with your signature quote.
    Sri
     
  9. svrlax

    svrlax Senior IL'ite

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    Hmm thanks Sri and thanks to the almighty as I could impress one of the most respected writers of IL by my excuisite signature.

    Yes I have few more peopleBow around me allergic to chemistryWitsend books, but this time I had nothing to support me as this was a flimsy topic and basically I was young enough (though may not be by my age but by my mind) inspite then I jumped out of the lines to discuss about it. I feel it has come out good, when I read the reply from Sri.... "Lax come down I mean come don from those clouds Lax" is what I told to myself after reading it. Thanks for the encouragement provided Sri
     
  10. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    We have been traditionally saying that opposites attract each other. Rev Berg in his book, "Nano Technology and mind over the matter" indicated that "likes attract each other". When I dived deep into it, we have been using that from the human relationship point of view that men are attracted by women and vice versa. But, in general, it is not true that men are attracted by all women nor women attracted by all men. (Oh no. I am not trying to say men are attracted by men and so on) However, it is definitely true that like minded people attract each other irrespective of their gender. Therefore, is it not true that opposites attracts each other is a myth?

    Now, coming back to Sindu Bairavi, the accomplished musician is looking for someone who has same music sense as he is. He found one who actually challenged him to begin with and attracted his undivided attention. Later, she won his heart by showing respect to his musical talents. The question here is if he found a man who challenged him to attract his attention and later appreciated his musical talents, what the musician might have done? Simply, build a friendship with him as our society won't accept him marrying another man. So why this double standard? I believe it is nothing but glorification of lust of a talented musician into a high class starvation for companionship of a person with similar taste, to justify such actions in high places with corrupted culture.

    In case of Balu Mahendra, if he needs someone who appreciates his work, why won't he build friendship with his fellow directors? If he meets with a 70 year old woman who has exceeding knowledge about filming, would he marry her?

    Viswa
     
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