Experiences as a new bride..

Dear friends,

I am a quiet and calm girl and even my parents are also of the soft type. I am the only child to my parents and so there was always silence in the house. We do talk but all of us have soft voice and so our house used be always calm. Even before the day of my marriage, our relatives who had come to our house were busy with the marriage arrangements and they were also spread across so there was less noise in the house.

After the day of the marriage, as soon as I stepped into my husband's house, I realized the impact of big family. My MIL has totally 10 brothers and sisters. All of their family plus other relatives were there in my husband's house. There was laughter and noise and talk going on everywhere. Even if I tried to speak to anyone, my voice was nowhere heard in the crowd. They stayed for around 1 week after my marriage and the entire week, there was continuous noise. My ears were not used to this kind of noise and I was praying for a moment of silence. I was relieved when my husband and I went to my mom's house half day for 'Marumazhaippu'. And after 1 week when all the relatives returned back to their place, the house became calm and quiet with my in-laws, my husband's grandma, my husband and me.

Its been two years and now I am used to that kind of environment and it is fun to be with everyone laughing and sharing happiness. I know how much my husband's relatives care for me and my family. But still I cannot forget the initial week after marriage. After one year, I did tell my MIL and grandma on how I felt in the initial week and all of us laughed together.

Cheers,
Padma Usha

 

It is really fun to read all yr experiences..

Coming to me, after marriage, when we went to UAE, the tough time started for my hub., through my cooking!!! Yes, one day, bought saunf thinking as jeera and put it in mor kuzhambu too. Can u imagine for a person who hates spices like saunf, cloves etc...My hub., claimed that there was something wrong and literally argued what I did was right. He did not have energy to proceed further.

Then, during vacation, complained to my mom abt my hub., and later, my mom showed both jeera & saunf; then, realized my mistake. Poor him..Similarly, would make sambar with one side water and the other side dhal(never mixed up!!). My hub., now tells that he was very much worried, what if my cooking be the same way throughout our life and luckily, he is safe becoz of my improvement.

Similarly, I shd say my cousin's experience who got married and tried kozukattai for the first time. I told her everything from the scratch and she did the same, but it turned out like a PARANKALLU. She was so upset and later, when she explained her procedure, realized that I forgot to say adding water in the pressure cooker!!! Poor girl, she did not do becoz did not say so!!! Good thing, her cooker did not burst out..

Thanks sowmya for creating this topic..

Rgds.

 

Hi,

I like to share my experience.....

After two days of marriage,I came to my inlaws place. In my home, we keep our home very very clean...after coming to my inlaws place I realized it was little dirty eventhough they have a maid...so one day, just 3days after marriage I think..I cleaned means litterally cleaned my inlaws kitchen. Now I feel I shouldn't have done that. I still don't know why I cleaned everything there.

Second, oneday my inlaws went to somebody's house and My MIL told me to cook something. After they went, my DH didn't allow me to do my work and we talked and played some cards and suddenly I remebered of cooking so I asked his help but he didn't help me he just watched Cricket in Tv. So I cooked myself dal and Pulusu.

After my inlaws came home, my FIL asked me wheather I put salt in dal. I said "yes" but he didn't listen and he added more. Moreover, for puluse they cut the vegetable big..I cut it too small just for like fry...so it all became like one big messy thing...in the end we had the whole thing as dal with more salt and pulusu as messy pulp type...they overall managed that meal with picles...In the end my dear husbend said that because of me they had a bad meal...so bad no understanding in the begiining ...Now he is good at that.Lucky of me.

I hope I didn't bored u with my story.

 

Hai,
I was an out and out tomboy and entered the kitchen only to eat. I can make ice cream, pulao, cakes, cutlet etc. but not daily sambhar rice etc. Ours was a joint family so if mother was not there, aunt will be there. So no chance of cooking. But once I had to make upma for my uncle. All was okay but as he tasted it he started laughing. I have forgotten to add salt. Just imagine- uppuma with out uppu.


I told my mil when they first came to see me that I do not know how to cook. So that saved me. She cooked for the first wek. Then they all left to Madurai to attend a marriage. I was on my own for 2 days. The first day I made rasam-again without salt. Hubby did not react, as I had told them the truth.

The first time I made out a grocery list, I put cardamon - 1/4 kg. The shop man laughed at me and told me that cardamom is bought only in grams- 5 gms or 10 gms etc.
When I took off the cooker from the stove top,it was very light, I had forgotten to add water to rice. Then mil made idlis and send everybody to office (including me) then made sabhar etc. for lunch.

Luckily there was no major problem. But it is rather embarrasing to say 'I can't cook' once one is married. There are very very few, rare men and families who do not mind their dil not cooking.

 

vow this thread is reawakening an era from the past, just married and the first day of the cooking i made mysore rasam which was taught by my grandfather and it had all the ingredients with nice perungayam and all now after the food was prepared and served with their favourite molagootal and all, my father in law did not come for lunch, i kept wondering why, because my mother in law was enjoying the rasam and the meal, then i knew the culprit was my husband who informed others that i have added a lot of perungayam and some deep coloured rasam, so my father in law did not come, immediately after this episode my mother in law left for her hometown leaving me with no knowledge of their palghat cooking and my father in law being a hotelier, guided everything, he said he has to have meal so it is better to buck me up..used to plan the food and cut veg for me...which i miss ...and till date i love him a lot...as he was a very sensitive and humble caring man...regards sunkan

 

Dear friends,

I just want to share my exp. as a new bride (now 14 yrs old) to u all.

Since my 12th std i was in hostel only. I did my undergraduate and post graduate in Engineering and then i worked as a lecturer - all through only hostel. In the beginning i struggled a lot but later adjusted to that life. My wedding was on 26th May, i came to my mother's house on 20th May:-D . Nothing i imagined, otherthan putting jewels, doing shopping, chatting with friends and relatives etc. I am the last and the only girl in my parents' house. So needless to say i know nothing in cooking. I never thought that there is a part like cooking in married life.

After 10 days of our wedding, i came to Madras as my hus was working in SPIC. The first day i put for Dosai - i never thought i need a spatula to turn the same, till the moment i poured the flour on the dosai pan. Afterwards only i realised, i forgot to purchase or bring it from home. Then i chased my husband to go and get it from the shop. Now also whenever i pour dosa i used to smile within myself. I bought some jot down notes in cooking from my mother. But i managed to do cooking - not very bad, because of the tips i used to get from my colleagues now and then. Now also i don't know many items, but i can manage to feed my family, our friends and our regular visitors.

Similarly the dressing style also. I don't wear even nighties till my marriage. I was used up with midies (skirts). I bought few nighties very nice and specially selected ones for my wedding night. The moment all our relatives and frds left us on the wedding day - night, my MIL entered our room with a garden saree. I was so worried. One side, i can't wear my specially selected nighties, on the other side i am / was totally unused sleeping with saree. But my husband gave me the idea to change into nightie once they all go and change into saree in the morning while coming out. I did that in the first few days. Then i rarely used to go to native place during the few years of my married life because of 2 continuous pregnancies and also because of small children. Now i am a permanent nightie wearer in my in laws place and my MIL regrets for her daughter (my SIL) not being used for nighties. So time will change people and even us. Every one's life will have problem in the first few years. Anything will take some time to settle (like dust and mud in water). Don't be worried. Take it easy. Share and if u want shed some tears with ur close frds or cousins. After few years u can challenge them with ur love and power.


Cheers,
Padmaja Edwin.:wave

 

This is great place. this thread really takes you back down memory lane.

I am married for 13 years. Ours is a love marriage. Worked in the same office, fought, became close friends and then got married.

Cooking, and other things were never a problem. learnt cooking as a hobby.

If you ask about a incident...

One day into few months of our wedding, we were chatting, and suddenly my husband said I Love you, and i spontaneously asked him what for...

Till this day my husband makes fun saying it would go down as the best reciprocation....

love,
shanthi.

 

Wow,
a great thread bringing back all 10 years of marriage life's memories. It happenned before our marriage. We saw each other on July 6th. On July 4th my inlaws came to see me at our home. My fil checked my height with my MIL saying that my son is not so tall and if your height matches then you bothwill also be suitable. As all my BILs didnt have formal Ponnu Parkaradu and they met their to be spouses in a hotel so we too have to meet in a hotel all chennaities will know that hotel opp to Panagal Park- WTR(Woodlands Tiffin Room). Then whenever we go to that hotel it kindles our memories of him eating just a plate of Bajji, and me a good eater felt much more hungrier and wanted to eat more but cant ask..... In spite of this my mother asking me whether you like him. (I said yes that is a different story).

Another incident that comes to my mind is before marriage had been to my in-laws house with my mother and as my MIL and mother wanted to talk regarding some marriage arrangements my MIL asked me to keep idly for tiffin. I made everything ready and after 1/2 hour my MIL came out of the room and asked me whether it is ready.... I said no sound came from the cooker.. My MIL went inside the kitchen only to find that I have not switched on the gas stove.
My mil lighted it and we had idly after another 15 mins and after that till she passed away my MIL used to tease me whenever I am cooking whether I have lighted the gas and when I am making upma whether I have put salt in it.


Still have lots more of such experiences as we had 6 full months between our engagement and marriage. And all such experiences took place in that period itself so immediatly after marriage as we both were left alone in my husband's work place we didnot have much of such experiences as both my MIL and mother taught me nunances of cooking. Other experiences.......