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Expecting Dhs To Be The Best, Are We Looking Our (dws) End As Well?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by RohiniVenkat, Oct 11, 2017.

  1. RohiniVenkat

    RohiniVenkat Silver IL'ite

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    Good one!! Perfect review:thumbup:
     
  2. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    You are right! More often than not we fail to notice our own misgivings.
    Several times i just want him to be what I need him to be. But I dont realise what I need him to be maynot be what he wants for himself.
     
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  3. WiseAgnes

    WiseAgnes Gold IL'ite

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    The fact that so many women are afraid of the word "feminism" indicates how much we do need feminism :) Based on the comments, I also realized that some just don't understand what feminism is about. Feminism began as a fight for women's right and this is why it is called like that. At the time when women couldn't divorce, couldn't own property, couldn't go to the University and have a career. Now liberal feminism has a broader definition and recognized that men also do need feminism-or equality if it suits your understanding better. Men also suffer because of patriarchy in many ways. Feminist is not about women domination or stubbornness. There is nothing extreme about me wanting to feel safe when I walk down the street and not wanting to be catcalled or groped. There is nothing extreme about me making as much money as my male colleagues. There is nothing extreme about me wanting to have a drink in a bar and not being afraid that someone adds drugs to my drink and rapes me. There is nothing extreme about me not wanting to be beaten by my husband because he can get away with it. There is nothing extreme about me not wanting to abort my child because my ILs don't want the second child to be a girl. There is nothing extreme about me having sex before marriage and not being called "slut" for it. There is nothing extreme about me having an access to contraception and being able to decide when I want to have children. There is nothing extreme about me not wanting to be assigned all household chores and childcare just because I was born a woman. Is my point clear?
    And yes, I am the woman who makes way more than my husband and for this reason my husband stayed home with our kids for almost two years. Since I am a surgeon, it is a little challenging for him to beat me in salary. There is nothing extreme about it too. Taking care of kids and the house is also a difficult and very important job. It was hard for my husband on mental level too because he comes from a pretty sanskari family, where men work outside and women work at home. He did adjust a lot with me, but I adjusted a lot too. Mutual respect to each other values is a base of any healthy relationship and feminism advocates for it.
     
  4. tulip07

    tulip07 Bronze IL'ite

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    Super like to your comment! Nicely put!
     
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  5. tulip07

    tulip07 Bronze IL'ite

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    Feminism is about equality of men and women, not “sameness.” People say women are not the “same” as men so there can’t be equality. In other words, because their bodies are different (many say “weaker” and smaller), and because men and women have different physical capabilities, these physical differences mean equality is not possible. Is it so difficult to understand that 'same' does not mean 'equal'?

    For eg: If there were two young boys in a classroom, and one was physically weaker and smaller than the other, would we believe it’s right to keep the weaker, smaller boy from having the same access – to the teacher, to learning, to the computers, to the books and class resources, to other children in the class -- because he didn’t have the same physical strength as the other bo
    y?

    For God's sake, PEOPLE please get yourself enlightened with the meaning of Feminism first! Its high time India needs feminism. Every women should stand up for any wrong done to her or any other woman. Contributing to family equally (in financial terms) is not feminism. The bread winner doesn't naturally become the head of the family and hence 'superior' (be it wife or husband). Both husband and wife have different roles and they should switch it according to the needs of the family from time to time.
     
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  6. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Feminism is just equality according to me. Agreed that people take it otherwise as if it is an extreme thing. It can be moderate
     
  7. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    True. But one thing women are in physical strength terms too can become equal to men by doing good in sports and practicing.
     
  8. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Super like
     
  9. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Sorry no idea. I accept my defeat. Maybe others can help. I was just talking about sports not military.I am sure sports help. They say safety issues is the reason for not much women in military. maybe I accept men are great in this aspect. I bow down to the men who are patriotic and fight for their nation.
     
  10. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes , we accept man can be abused by his wife. He needs justice too. He needs to be away from the abuser too.
     

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