Expectations - the reigning human quality

honeybee · Apr 10, 2007

Expectation - a very emphatic quality that rules our lives on a daily basis and yet we are unaware of its existence and the emotional impact it creates.

Every morning we wake up with a fond expectation that the day ahead should be a pleasant one .We open the front door expecting the milk sachets and newspaper. Though we may brush aside this thought as a routine...it is still a form of expectation .We begin our daily chores expecting to finish it in a stipulated timeframe and yes.. the term we associate with it is "time management ".Just one missing element somewhere in our routine is sufficient to upset the whole show, piling up the stress factor and responsible for the shooting BP.
These harmless & simple day to day affairs are invariably under our control.

In the bigger picture expectation is the very foundation of our sustainance.I guess we are born with expectations and our lives revolve around expectations..

Be it a toddler who clearly indicates that he will not return empty handed after a shopping spree, to bring a smile on his face and prevent him from throwing a tantrum parents need to bribe him with a toy of his choice.. these days kids settle for no compromises.When he grows up he "demands", rather expects all that his affluent friends possess .

In the job scenario.. one of the most important questions a candidate faces is "What is your salary expectation?"

Every eligible man/woman ready to enter into wedlock faces the question "what are your expectations regd your better half?"

Every married woman expects to conceive and a pregnant woman eagerly expects her Delivery date.

Realistic expectations are always welcome.. but what about those which lead to misery?When we begin to expect returns for all that we do and there is no reciprocation..unhappiness begins. Expecting others to behave /conduct themselves the way we want them to , imposing our ideas on them.. are the easiest ways to suffer from mental disturbances.These unrealistic expectations also take a toll on relationships.. either straining them or breaking them. Most family feuds crop up when high expectations are shattered.Expectations here complicate matters for us as well others .

Self expectation raises our living standards.. When we set targets for ourselves and try to accomplish the same we are moving in the path of progress. I prefer to refer to self expectation as "determination ,self motivation,self discipline " in this context. These are positive expectations and make us more organised in our approach .These may be as simple as striving to maintain a neat home to more focussed aspects like having a balanced mind .

As Bhagavad Gita says "Do your duty, do not expect results or rewards".

Now the question is.. can we live without expectations ?My answer is a firm NO.We can minimise our expectations but we cannot thrive without it. Afterall small and simple expectations add colour to life.When we stop expecting from others, even a small positive gesture from them will make us happy.Why not try?

sushmasampath · Apr 10, 2007

hi,
' to be without expectations' becomes 'goal of my living'many a times.especially when something does not turn out as expected.it could be becoz of a person or situation.

Thats the time when i turn hard on myself and convince myself over and over again not to expect anything, anytime or from anyone.

But then life comes up in roses,and you forget your big resolution.and then ther is some big dissappointment around the corner.

So may be this is the big roller coaster ride of life,and the day you stop expecting from life,that day you have achieved your salvation.

cheer · Apr 10, 2007

Awesome article honeybee:2thumbsup: . Great post, i do agree with this, we should expect but not which lead to misery. For last couple of years i found better not to expect much from others becoz later on u'll get misery, wonderful post indeed, each & every word is true:goodidea:

Jaysree · Apr 11, 2007

Hi Honeybee,

What a wonderful artical.Each and every word is true.

Thanks,
Take care,
jayshree.

BhargaviChakravarthy · Apr 20, 2007

Dear all,
Thispost is worth sharing with all.A good writing:2thumbsup: .As you said,todays kids are not expecting but demanding.This is going something different which must be attended immediately and given priority.On demanding
"to bring a smile on his face and prevent him from throwing a tantrum parents need to bribe him with a toy of his choice.. these days kids settle for no compromises."
This is not meant to say that we must not fulfill other's expectations,but when the kid grows when he/she is not abe to compramise for a small toy,how come he/she can face failures in their life.Definitely each man/women passes thro failures in life.We cannot expect life to go smoothly for all the 365 days.Then a child must mentally prepared to accept difficulties in life,otherwise as pointed out rightly it my only lead to mental disturbance.

Then coming to te next part my answer is "Definitely we cannot live with out expectations"May be we can reduce the strength of it.The great grand positive aspect of not expecting anything in life is "as said even little things makes us happier".sometimes when we are not expecting anything we can really be happy than vice versa.starting from education,we expect ourself to be outstanding.If it is achieved ,well and good.On the other side of the coin,we get discouraged though we would have performed well.Initially,if we made the expectations as nil,we would be very happy on seeing our performance.So imagine how a single stroke of thought affected our mental health on a single day(on the day of result).So life is not made of chances but by choices.It is our choice to be happier or otherwise.This was stated in the book"You can win" by shivkera.

If you happen to read Swami sukhabodananda's book on"oh Mind relax please",you can find what i am explaining.That is 'a boy want to go to a place.He carries a map with him.After going several miles,he is not able to reach the destination.The reason is the map which he carried is a wrong one.In the same way we create wrong thinkings(desires,expectations) and expect things to happen according to the wrong ideas.Ultimately we end up with sufferings.

My idea is 'Definitely we must expect some thing in life.It is not wrong.'.I have a large collection of expectation.As was explained earlier make it short.Living a life with out expectations is monotanous.It can even be small goals,ambitions.If we work happily,enjoyably with out expecting any thing(i know it is difficult,after all we are humans) even a small dividend of that work makes us happy.On the other hand even angels cannot satisfy if we are not able to convince ourselves.
Let me take a breath and put a fullstop:wave .otherwise i may keep writing.:tongue

honeybee said: ↑

Be it a toddler who clearly indicates that he will not return empty handed after a shopping spree, to bring a smile on his face and prevent him from throwing a tantrum parents need to bribe him with a toy of his choice.. these days kids settle for no compromises.When he grows up he "demands", rather expects all that his affluent friends possess .

As Bhagavad Gita says "Do your duty, do not expect results or rewards".

Now the question is.. can we live without expectations ?My answer is a firm NO.We can minimise our expectations but we cannot thrive without it. Afterall small and simple expectations add colour to life.When we stop expecting from others, even a small positive gesture from them will make us happy.Why not try?
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