Exceptional Children

[JUSTIFY] I am just back from an Education seminar. Topic for my presentation was Educating Exceptional Children. When I sat down to make the powerpoint version, I realised that the topic had more depth than what was visible.. Actually, every child is a born genius but it is we adults who make them average... imagine the plight of the child who does everything to please his/ her parents but meets criticism and discontentment!!!

In today's competitive world parents spend more time finding out what other kids know than what their child is capable of doing. Parents compete with each other to ensure that the children excel in academics by engaging as many tutors as possible without realising that all tutors force their ideas on the child, thus leaving no scope for creativity. Parents also take pride in getting their child enrolled in various extracurricular activities such as painting classes, tennis, swimming. But then they dont even check if the child is comfortable going there.

How many parents were toppers throughout?How many parents attend hobby classes after working hours or during holidays? Only exceptions. Why then do parents thrust their ideas, thoughts, dreams onto their children..why, why, why???

In the race towards success and recognition, parents forget that they are firing from the shoulder of their exceptional child, putting so much pressure on him/ her that the exceptionality is erased and they are left to fend for themselves as mere children.

Lets get together to protect these exceptional Children - YOURS, MINE, OURS!!!! [/JUSTIFY]

 

Dear Viswamitra,
Loved this statement of yours.. Wish parents understood !!!

 

You are welcome...Please use every opportunity to tell parents not to pressurize their children

 

Dear Malathy,

You are definitely not the devil's advocate because all your questions are what each parent is supposed to ask himself/ herself.

I am sure you'll agree that there is a major difference in asking a child to do better and forcing a child to do better. When a child is asked to do better, not only is the child made to feel that his/ her efforts are acknowledged, it makes the child understand that his/ her parents are confident of better performance; this enhances the self esteem. But the sad state of affairs is that instead of praising a child for doing well in certain areas, the concentration of the parents is on the weak areas; this lowers the self esteem of the child. Besides, there are children who perform exceptionally well in extracurricular activities, but lag behind in few academic subjects. Their parents leave no stone unturned to ensure that the maximum time of the child is spent in academics only. However, in case of children who excel in academics but are way behind in sports, their parents have nothing to say. The point I want to emphasize is that parents are oriented towards academics only. For parents, it is marks that is important not the child's development.

To answer your second question I would quote "Jack of All Trades, Master of None". A child is born talented and provides enough proof by displaying the same in the first two years, but the sad part is that the parents do not have time to notice it. For example, a child with musical talents would start humming a song she/ he likes, one with dance would move his/her body or its parts on hearing music, etc. Ideally speaking, parents should identify and start nurturing their child's talents within the first five years of age. How many parents do so? Enrolling a child for various extracurricular classes and expecting exemplary in all subjects is like making veg pulao out of pressure cooked rice or black forest cake in a steamer!!! Imagine having ten relatives at home, each with different needs and you having to cook ten different versions of breakfast, lunch and dinner all alone!!!! Any lady would break down after few days. So is the case with children.

Each child has his/ her likes and dislikes. If they are pressurized to do things, they'll experience lot of stress. Why subject innocent children to the vicious circle of stress, fatigue and depression? Let children follow their heart. It is not necessary that their hobbies should match the parents' hobby.

The problem with parents is that they keep saying "NO", "DONT" but rarely do they say " DO". It is easy to point out mistakes but good things done are seldom acknowledged. If a child picks up a glass on her/ his own and keeps it in the kitchen after meals but drops a bit of water on the way, the first reaction is "why did you drop the water?" Rarely is it heard "thank you for helping me. you did a great thing by keeping your glass back."

There is a story, a caterpillar had gone inside a cocoon and after sometime, as butterfly was trying to come out of the cocoon. A man watching this went to help by breaking the cocoon to free the butterfly. With the cocoon broken easily, the man thought that the butterfly would fly. Sadly, since the butterfly was not allowed to break free and thus gather strength, the butterfly was not able to fly. children are like the caterpillar. They have to learn how to weave a cocoon, figure out alone as to how they can come out of it. The parents should only help by giving enough materials that children need for weaving their cocoon and protect their children from external dangers while they are in their cocoon and/ or trying to come out of it. Believe me, these free butterflies would be the most beautiful and strong ones who would never leave our sides.

 

Thanks a lot. You said it by acknowledging the importance of not putting pressure and compulsion on the children