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Ever faced discrimination as a daughter

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by godsgp, May 4, 2010.

  1. godsgp

    godsgp Bronze IL'ite

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    I realize that all of us love our parents and vice versa(Infact I feel that our parents love us more than we do) but has anybody ever felt discriminated as a girl child in their childhood.
    I bet there are a good number of us ..
    Would anybody like to share?
     
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  2. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Count me in.. not much but few instances here n there when decisions were perfixed with "becos she's a gal".

    However the motive in my life became to prove to my parents that a girlchild is no more a burden as percieved.
    Also the same parents changed a lot once we moved out of extremely conservative society in north and suggested me to be self reliant so that I never regret being or bearing a girl child. Also the new state was far safer for a female to explore.

    Now whenever my mom visits me and sees me showering equal love on my DD she ends up with tear and says I wish I was more caring & patient as a mom, I tell her that gave me the stregnth in my tuff times so it was a learning curve, also when in rome one lives like a roman... good that you n dad chose to shift base to a non-conservative Rome :biglaugh.........
    Also when I do few things for them they simply say... these days girls are equally caring for their parents.

    The discrimination still remains at sociatal level where a set of parents chose it as a final resort to live with their married daughter but yes their first option remains SON.
     
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  3. MiaSen

    MiaSen Senior IL'ite

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    Here i am - I've never been happy with difference in the way my parents treated me and my bro - but tat stopped there - i mean they never deprived me of any necessities in my life and gave me their full support throughout... :bowdown
    My dad didnt even want to look at me vn he got to know that my mom delivered a baby gal :( I was left in tears vn i got to know about this. During fights between me and my bro, if he gets hurt by himself, my dad would beat me with watever he couldnt gets in his hands. I had a gud score in my entrance exams, but was just gud enough to get into a reputed institute(now not then - it was just getting popular then). I wanted to get into PSG, but tat was a paid seat and my dad was not in for it, though he didnt tell me directly - so i happily agreed with watever my dad chose. But was shattered vn my dad got my bro payment seat in PSG (he has a better score than me and could get into other nice colleges on par with PSG)... May be they were much worried about bro's carrier just coz he was a boy :hide:...
    Though they are such small things in life - it still leaves me crying vnever i think of it.
    The same thing has been done to my SIL and i tell my hubby strainght on face tat u r vr u r just coz u r a boy... he he hee - this is how i vent out :)
    But they are so caring and i know my dad loves me more than my bro - father daughter senti - they gave me everything in life (though they decided everything for me)... never forced me into anything, made sure tat i has options to choose from. My mom left her job to take care of me vn i was pregnant. Am really blessed :thumbsup
    I am happy in my life now and all i wish for is tat i get a chance to take care of them vn they need my support in their later stages...
    Thanks for such a thread and sorry about the long post :hide:
     
  4. sansmomy

    sansmomy Bronze IL'ite

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    well, in our case, we are two sisters and a bro...my dad never discrimiated between us and provided equal support, love to all 3 of us...my mom would also do equal things for us, however i always had this feeling that 'mom loves my bro more than we two (me and sis)'....she had that extra soft corner for him which would make her bend to his side...however not sure wether it was due to him being a boy or being the youngest in her 3 children....

    Surprisingly, now when my mom is no more and my bro is married, my dad has started discriminating between daughers (me and sis) and his DIL (my SIL)...He'll always take her side no matter how she behaves with us and tries to cover her mistakes...anyways, I am still happy that my dad has built a good relation with her (my SIL) and she in turn is taking care of him (as she feels happy that he shows me and my sis down in comparison to her)....I am relaxed that he will be taken care of well in my mom's absence (let it be on the cost of me and my sis's mental peace)...

    ~S.
     
  5. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

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    i had a bro who expired at very early age 5 yrs
    my parents to be honest never showed any discrimination
    but whenever my dad used to say it would have been so nice if we had a boy used to make me feel bad(i mean in every topic)
    but later once i completed my engineering and started earning and being independent my dad used to agree now a days hardly there is a difference in boy and a gal
    as of now i am taking care of my mom after my dads demise..i am proud of it because unlike many boys who leave their parents when they need them i am with her and doing my responsibilty
     
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  6. godsgp

    godsgp Bronze IL'ite

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    Having started this thread ,it would be unfair for me not to write my story.
    Obviously there was something that led me to post this thread:spin

    So when I was born ,my maternal grandmother cried.
    I was the first baby on my maternal side ,so I got all the attention that a baby in a joint family gets but I was not anybody's happiness.
    My father ,however loved me!..my mother's feel was contrary...
    The word pampering is something alien to my childhood..
    No that does not mean i was kicked around
    All my life i vied and tried for my mother's love..she did love me..but not in the same way as she loved my brother....no hugs ,no sitting in the lap..no kisses no such signs of affection...constant nagging instead....I felt inferior..
    but things gradually changed esp. with my academic and professional achievements..
    She's is now supporting me like anything..right now living with me..making my rushed life easy for me...
    but here lies for me the real dilemma..
    I feel gratitude..I feel touched..but at the same time I feel that all she is doing is repeatedly trying to press the 'Undo' button..I feel happy and sad at the time for this..
    Deep within I know my brother is still her favorite ..
    Well ..I am confused angered and happy at the same time..Hope better sense prevails on me :)
     
  7. godsgp

    godsgp Bronze IL'ite

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    That really hurts...
    And hey..don' t be sorry for a long post for then people like me would have to think twice before posting..;)
     
  8. ArchanaP

    ArchanaP Silver IL'ite

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    I am the only child, so not discrimination. I know my mom very well. She doesn't care if it's son or daughter. But on the other hand I know my dad would have loved to have a son instead of daughter.
     
  9. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    I never felt like being discriminated. My parents never treated us any different. Infact my mom never made us do any housework just because "we were girls" like my neighbors did.

    We were free to play,study follow our dreams. I also went to a professional course in a diff town.

    I saw that many people said to my mom " O poor lady..has no sons.What will happen to her?"

    One neighbor had the audacity to tell in front of me " You should go to your native so that even the neighborhood people will come to help when you are on deathbed". I got so mad..I told him " Hey good you have it figured..Your son is failing miserably. You will need the support".

    Anyways, having said that all my uncles and aunts have sons and we were the only daughters... we got treated really well. It was fun.

    However I think my mom has the last laugh. Both her daughters are well settled and finacially (although they don't need it ) as well as physically take care of them. During my mom's illness..all running around ,etc was done by my sis.

    All our relatives live away from sons and have minimal contact due to MIL/DIL issues. They live across the street in some cases and can't see their grandchildren.

    I saw it a lot during my childhood but my Mom protected us like a mama bear. I wish I can be half as good as she was in raising my boys.

    FL
     
  10. Happysoul1234

    Happysoul1234 Gold IL'ite

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    Interesting topic!

    I always complain to my mom that she loves my younger brother more than me because he's a boy. what my mom told me is that because I was her first born, I was more pampered and taken care of than my brother was. I don't feel this is true but this is what she tells me!

    I also feel that she takes more consideration of my brother's wife's feelings than mine, but then think that she knows she has to spend her life with her son rather than her daughter so maybe that's why.

    but yes, I definitely feel that my mom is more biased towards my brother than me.
     

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