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English Language

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Blondie, May 1, 2007.

  1. Blondie

    Blondie Bronze IL'ite

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    <HR>English as a second language



    The European Commission has just announced an agreement
    where by English will be the official language of the
    European Union rather than German, which was the other
    possibility.
    As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Government
    conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement
    and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known
    as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'.

    Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

    The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of the 'k'.

    This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one
    less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year
    when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'.

    This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.

    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan
    be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes
    are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double leters
    which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in
    the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as
    replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' be dropd from vords
    kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
    oza kombinations of letas.

    After ziz fifz yer ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find
    it ezi tu anderstand ech oza.

    Ze drem of ze united urop vil finali kum tru!


    </PRE>
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2007
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  2. Blondie

    Blondie Bronze IL'ite

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    maybe this is why we see so many posts in the forums here in this format:tongue ??
     

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