The English Language Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? Let's face it . English is a FUNNY language. * There is no egg in the eggplant. *No ham in the hamburger. *And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. *English muffins were not invented in England. *French fries were not invented in France. We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that... *Quicksand takes you down slowly *Boxing rings are square *And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. *If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. * If the plural of tooth is teeth *Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth *If the teacher taught, *Why didn't the preacher praught. * If a vegetarian eats vegetables -- What the heck does a humanitarian eat? *Why do people recite at a play * Yet play at a recital? *Park on driveways and Drive on parkways <TABLE id=AutoNumber1 style="BORDER-COLLAPSE: collapse" borderColor=#111111 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TD width="50%">*You have to marvel at the unique lunacy *Of a language where a house can burn up as It burns down *And in which you fill in a form by filling it out *And a bell is only heard once it goes! *English was invented by people, not computers And it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn't a race at all) That is why when the stars are out they are visible But when the lights are out they are invisible ?? And why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts But when I wind up this observation, It ends.
