Dream to live together but reality is different......

Hello members:
My first thread here and hope to hear from all of you.
I am a married woman with 2 children. Married for last 13yrs. Ours was an arranged marriage.
As every woman even I had lot of dreams and hopes about my married life.
These were my wishes and my imagination before marriage.
I dreamt of a happy, romantic life with my future hubby. One who would
always make me happy and inturn I would reciprocate equally. One who would be romantic, naughty and most importantly
honest.
There were plenty of dreams with my spouse and I also hoped and dreamed about beautiful, decent life along with
inlaws and my future husband's sisters and brothers.
In my imaginations I had MIL and FIL living with us. FIL and MIL would have a room all for themselves with
their stuff like clothes and books and their own personal belongings in it.
Dh and I in our own bedroom, kids would have their own cute room colorfully decorated.
We would all live together sharing work and enjoying each others company just like you
see in some family oriented movies. May be I watched too many movies back then!!
I imagined ourselves all going for picnics once in a while and husband's sisters and brothers, aunts
and uncles visiting us . I saw my own parents participating in our family events as well.
My inlaws would be happy to be around us and we would all be celebrating festivals together since of course
we all would be living in our own....nice little home!!!
I saw my FIL as the elder, most respectable member of the household whom I would always approach for advises and
my MIL as the most patient, understanding woman advising me in kitchen and other household matters, whom I would love to be with.
I saw my SIL and BIL if any, as most fun
loving people. I saw them all paying high regards to my parents and my siblings.
My parents and my inlaws having nice, long chats and fun over dinner whenever we invited my parents and my dh helping me
in every possible way be it in kitchen or housekeeping. I always saw my inlaws as most respectable people whom my dh and I would
love to serve our life with pleasure.
OK Ilites, dreams are after all dreams......I realized after few years into marriage.
No matter what I do or how I behave I am being compared and criticised always. I have a SIL and a BIL who are ever craving
for attention and importance and no matter what dh and I do is something less for them. They always complained about me to inlaws
and I would be asked to behave well. I never understood why I was always misunderstood even after I explained my situation.
My parents were never invited, I mean, I could have invited but what is the point when no one other than me and dh talk to them.
If I am busy cooking, my parents are left for themselves. FIL was always moody and MIL very proud about.....till this day I am unable
to guess.....she thinks she is superior to the rest and so ignores my mom completely. She even criticises and never agrees with my parents on
whatever it is. If he had mood then FIL would talk to my dad else even if my dh said vimmy's dad is here, he would look at him like......so what???
At that time, dh and I lived with inlaws in inlaws house. The house was a 4 bedroom one with huge garden. Whenever FIL talked about how
the house was constructed and how he worked towards it, he would infact directly bring up the point how dh being his son could not still
own a house and how he could not make the amount of money FIL made when he was of the same age. There were so many times, dh was
criticised and compared with his brother. Sometimes, I used to feel we are a burden to them, living in their house. FIL always boasted
about his success . He wanted dh to join in the family business as BIL did but dh refused and took up a job on his own which was of his interest.
The family run business never interested him. He was scolded for it even infront of me.
1, 2, 3, years passed like this. DH would leave in the morning and I would be with inlaws. I stay home. The only good thing here is they
never restricted me if I want to go out in the afternoons but ofcourse commented on my spendings as extravagant whatever it was.
I gave up explaining to them and accepted them as they were. I never ever complained to my dh and thought it was not worth it since
it is hard for any one to admit their parents at fault. But gradually over years, my dh saw the indifferent behaviour of his parents.
One fine day, it was 4 yrs and 3 months into our marriage, our first child was 3yrs old and I was pregnant again, DH came from work and said
that there are some newly constructed houses and he is planning to take one and wanted to me to accompany me the next day to see.
I went and we liked it. I said but why are we taking 2 bedroom one, when we really need a 3 bedroom one. DH said because it will be you,me
and kids in that house.
I said what about your parents, the present house is huge but they are old too. How can they live alone there? Dh said......."enough!!. I had enough
of all this, now I want some time to be alone. Yes, I will do my duty as a son but will keep myself distant. Getting close did not work out for me.
tell me, do you want to come with me or not? shall I book this house or not? I will do whatever you say".
I was caught in a fix. I thought what will inlaws say? I thought over it for few days and finally told dh to do as he wished.....buy that house.
I retracked my dreams and I found life so different in reality. The only best thing I thought is to go by my husband's wishes and not bother
about what others would say. Inlaws simply disliked our decision. FIL started shouting what will people think? See your brother, he made an equally bigger house
like ours and you opt for such a tiny house. Dh said but that is my budget. FIL said take money from me, I will give you. Join our business like
your brother did and see how he is making money, whats wrong. Dh said I have told you so many times that does not interest me at all.
All the time inlaws only worry was what will others think if son lives in a smaller house. BIL also scolded dh and tried to explain to me that
FIL's dignity would be lowered if we moved out and lived in smaller house. BIL lives separately in another town looking after the business there.

Now it is over 9 yrs we live separately and I find my dh and myself very happy and not live as though we are indebted
to someone. We live a nuclear family unlike what I dreamt. We live away from inlaws and they hardly ever visit us unlike what
I dreamt. I am thankful atleast I have a understanding,caring and romantic hubby like in my dreams.....
Was sitting and reading some of the threads this afternoon and just felt like penning down here.
Share your side too......
SORRY! IF I BORED YOU GUYS......BUT WISH TO HEAR FROM ALL OF YOU!!!