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Dowry and Domestic Violence-Indusladies International Women's Day Blog Contest

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by rvnachar, Feb 23, 2010.

  1. rvnachar

    rvnachar Silver IL'ite

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    Indusladies International Women's Day Blog Contest


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    ‘Dowry and domestic violence’! I feel domestic violence is always not linked to dowry, though dowry too is one of the causes for domestic violence.

    A concrete structure ‘house’ becomes a ‘home’ when the quotient ‘love’ is added to it. Everybody in the house has to contribute his or her share of love to make it a home. Woman is supposed to be a major contributor because nature has endowed her with the additional responsibilities of procreation and nurture. We may scream from our rooftops that women are equal to men in all respects and claim all rights. We may walk on the moon, scale Mount Everest, run trains, fly airplanes, drive trucks and do all that a man does. But even then we are not equal to men. We are more than equal to them, because we bear children and nurture them! We carry on this holy duty of procreation very sincerely but find that we are taken advantage of by the men very often.

    Let us now come to a home. Home is a place where every member of the family has one hundred percent freedom to express. Home is supposed to be the most secure place for everybody. A good home is like a heaven, where every member enjoys bliss, gets motivated and supported to carry on the life smoothly, facing all hurdles boldly. But it is very strange that the same home turns a bane for many people, especially for the women and children living there.

    Just yesterday there was this report of a father raping his minor daughter studying in the eighth standard and driving out the pregnant daughter to the streets! The moment we say domestic violence, we think of only the husband beating the wife. But very often innocent children face the cruel face of domestic violence. Girls and women become easy prey to violent men because of the same noble duty that nature has bestowed on them.

    Dowry originally had a very different purpose. Girls had no rights in the parental property after their marriage. Since the sons would get all the property, parents would present a good collection of gold, silver and other household articles along with whatever more they can afford to the daughters on their marriage. Though the very lifestyle of everybody has changed and people have migrated to urban areas, where they no longer own large tracts of land but only small tenements to live, the practice of dowry has continued. Not only that! Now the daughters too have been given equal rights in the parental property. Yet the practice of ‘dowry’ has not gone out of Indian weddings.

    Girls are no longer mere home-makers. They too are educated on par with the boys. They too are professionals with a full-time career on hand. Even so, it is disgusting to see the practice of girls being weighed in the marriage market based on the dowry and property that they bring along! Only the components of dowry have changed over times! In those days, gold and silver formed the major portion of the dowry while today, boys demand innovative components like an apartment in a metro, an imported car, or a hi-fi bike. All this in addition to the hefty pay-packets that the girls get along with them! Where is the end to this practice?

    It is very disgusting to read about dowry death cases every day in a newspaper. What is shocking is even highly educated IT professionals die a helpless death in the name of dowry! Then of what use is education either to the victim or to the perpetrator? If education has not given the right kind of values to the men and the confidence and mental strength to the women, then what is the use of such a system?

    Unless the boys are taught right from childhood that girls are equal to them in all respects and in fact more important to this planet and also taught to take pride in self respect and independence, this practice will not die. Men should be ashamed to depend on the wealth and money that their spouses bring from their families. Money and wealth earned by hard work and honesty should definitely excite men, rather than ‘easy’ money that is handed over to them!

    Boys should be taught the value of relationships, the key role that a woman plays in all stages of her life as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, as a wife, as a mother, as a grandmother and as a sister-in-law and made to respect the women around them at home, in school, in college and all around them.

    Make your son proud to be self-made and drive home the point that a life of a parasite is the worst!

    Tagging:
    Sunkan, Sureshmiyer, lakshmi m bhat

    Update
    Here are the pics of Rvnachar, posing with the gifts she received from IL!!

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  2. SeethaHari

    SeethaHari New IL'ite

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    Hello Sudha,

    Nice analysis.

    I liked your statement
    "A concrete structure ‘house’ becomes a ‘home’ when the quotient ‘love’ is added to it.

    While I totally agree with the content, I feel the case of dowry has in -laws as equal partners along with the boy.
    Women are enemies to women in this case. So the boy has to respect his parents where good or bad.
    Lets hope, the would be Mother-in-law's look to this issue and change their minds and welcome the daughter in law's with open arms.



    Th
     
  3. jani78

    jani78 New IL'ite

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    A nice writeup rvnachar.

    Women tend to become greedy for easy money when its her son's marriage and yell at the society if its her DD's marriage! Hope atleast this generation wud have nice mother-in-laws too!
     
  4. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Sudha,

    so true, that a house becomes home only when the ingredient love is added.

    REcently i saw a quote in a paper by journalist, nicholas kristoff "the liberation of women could help solve many of the world’s problems, from child mortality to terrorism and women are not the problem but the solution to many a problem."

    all the best dear.
     
  5. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Sudha

    Good points...about home, and how DV is not just limited to dowry and the wives...even young girls are the victims of it. I totally agree when you say that no matter how much ever educated woman are, what big positions they are in...still they are facing this DV...hope everyone understands value of education and whta it means and makes right decision before things go out of hand.
     

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