Doubtful behaviour of Father in law

hi Kavitha,
This is a very serious accusation. Please tell your friend to be extra sensitive about this matter. I know a family where the marriage almost broke ‘coz of this.
How old is the FIL? Old people are like babies. They like the physical touch. It is a reassurance to them that they are wanted, not redundant! After all, what are they living for? Death?
I do understand it is not always so. The first thing I would do is start addressing FIL as ‘Father’. Refer to him as father where/when ever possible. Especially in front of other people! Remind him that he is like a father every now and then. Also, give him something to do to keep his brain occupied. I know it is easy said than done!
Tea and snacks can be served on a tray… or at the dining table. The key hole can be covered by a waterproof band-aid or the towel. Have a companion at home with her most of the time. May be a relative with not many responsibilities, like a grandma.

Regards,
Sharada :wave

 

I dont think this is unintentional, i think you need to find a way to let your FIL know that you understand what he is doing and you dont like it atall.

If I were you I would show some signs of anger and disgust when he touches so that he knows that I am hating what he is doing.

 

Also although I understant the point Sharada is making, I feel calling him Father and being nice to him is just going to make him feel you are not complaining about what he is doing, on the contrary he might feel you are liking it and he may continue his acts.

Just my point of view.

 

I totally belive girl's sixth sense. If she is doubting it, Chances are FIL is not beahving appropriate.

Its actually quite delicate situation for the girl in question. I think its best handled with tact. Telling husband is not any good. 99.9% he s not going to believe. I think girl in question will have to muster courage and tell this in indirect way. Since there are plenty of occassions FIL is alone with her. She can politely and firmly tell an imaginary story to him. Tell him about imaginary frend xyz, who is facing dilemma to confront her FIL for his siimilar acts.
She should tactfully ask his opinion what he would recommend that girl to do. I am sure Mr FIL will realise his mistake and be on right track.

Since she is not openly pointing finger, FIL cannt complain this to son also.
Hope this helps.

 

Hi
I think this a very delicate issue....i think you must tell this to ur mother as some one must always know wht is going on....as u cant say anything abt this to ur hubby..
so take all ur precaution..and also try to see tht if any of ur family members..especially old one can be with you so tht u will feel secured...

keep a towel on keyhole as suggested by others....Dont be afraid as this make ur fil to take more serious steps sp be confident tht u can protect ur self .

or if u can keep a maid for whole time means who will live with you will also work....never talk to ur fil more then needed.
Hope this will help u

take care
we r always there for help
Nirmiti

 

Hi,

This is a very serious problem.

I have also heard something like this before where the fil tried molesting the dil one afternoon while she was naping and hubby at work, but when she informed hubby, his father put the blame back on her.

Her husband believed the father and divorced his wife. She is now known as a characterless woman.

The thing she could do is talk to her hubby about it (tactfully), adding that she maybe not right in thinking so and could be that it was done in a fatherly affection, but still she is afraid and would like to have someone stay with them, when her hubby travels (like someone from her family or arrange an elderly maid).

On doing this she will also put a doubt on her hubby's mind. If he cares for her, he will surely act for her safety.

All the best.:2thumbsup:

Diana

 

hi Kavitha,

it does seem that old man is taking advantage of DIL
pl tell DIL not to encourage old man ...stay away from him as much as possible in current situation
DO NOT give him benefit of doubt coz he maybe craving physical touch after wife died do not stay in house/room alone with him
:evil: just like we see indian males peeing in public..why not females....cant these people wait till they reach home
ur friend should be morally/emotionally supported:goodidea: keep up gud work
we would like to teach old man a lesson but currently it seems difficult