Don't want to leave baby with mil

Hello,

You are in a tough situation indeed.

Look at it this way. Given your options, you can rest assured that your child will get good care. Plus she will develop a good bond with her cousins too. Children who grow up around older kids do tend to pick things up like talking quicker.

All children being little cave-people, do snatch, have fist fights and throw tantrums. It is up to the adult watching them to handle it. I assume you are not happy with your MIL's way of handling these things. Regardless of that, you can ensure that all the time that your daughter is with you, you remain fair and consistent with your rules.

While it would be out of order to go around telling how other people's children should be brought up, you can gently let your MIL know how you would like situations with your DD handled.
Eg. Say DD starts pulling your hair, tell your MIL something like this: "She has started hitting. Every time she hits, I look her in the eye and calmly say, 'It is not nice to hit, baby. Please do not do that again.' I would appreciate it if you also do the same and do not allow her to hit (or shout at her)."

It takes some effort but you can bring things reasonably under control while you are there as a force to guide your daughter should things go awry.

Good luck

 

OP trust me that is a part of survival skills that children must learn.JMHO.

Dont worry your child is in safe hands.As grandparents MILs love their grandchildren even if they dont share the same bond with us.

 

Children learn from seeing others...good and bad. That is the way they learn.
Remember there are more children at day care. Besides who knows....your child might turn out to be the most handful.I used to always worry about my kids getting bullied till one day I realized my older one was a bit of a bully.:-(

Think of it as a nice little family playgroup. Don't worry about a few hair pulls or scratches ...as long as it's just not one child getting them.I am sure your MIL will make sure no child is bullied.

 

She is your child's grandMa so im sure she will take a good care of your baby. A day care or anyother person cant giv lov and support as a dadi can.
Dont worry your child will be safe and healthy with her.

 

These are the things she is going to pick up no matter where you leave her. Even at day care you have other children and chances are she is going to pick up these things. If you hire a nanny and keep her alone, she may be OK for 4 years biut when she joins school, she will then pick it up.
The natural way is for her to go through this "learning phase" of snatching and then being taught not to snatch. First, they will refuse to share their toys (I am sure you considered sending some toys), then we teach them to share....all this she has no choice but to go through be it at MIL's or at daycares or at school.