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Does Your Spouse Remember The Special Days?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Sweety2019, Aug 1, 2020.

  1. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi all,
    Need a little suggestions here. Does your spouse remember all the special days of/for you.. I am not talk 1month anniversary, 6th month anniversary.. but some days that have been specially to you and achievement, an occasion etc.

    If they don't remember, or attempt to remember, how do you deal with it?
    Do you tell him how bad you felt or do you just let it go.
     
    MaruthiRao and Thyagarajan like this.
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  2. Novalis

    Novalis Gold IL'ite

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    How obnoxiously playful are you to each other ..depends on that.

    If you are well-behaved, then unsure. If both are goof-goof, and your birthday is upcoming (say, tomorrow), lead him up frighteningly with:

    Some musical “Wild Thing” of Troggs reverberated on July 30.
    Also, Marquis de Lafayette is recruited as a major-general without any pay on July 31.
    GRR Martin's first in the series of GoT, “A Song of Ice and Fire” was unleashed on August 1.

    Those are omens of a wild thing about to blow hot and cold without a gift or greeting in your life. Beware the kalends are approaching!

    Not playful or effective on already conflicted couples, or those who aspire to resolve their dismay in a mannered dialogue. You are otherwise on jovial terms with your partner, aise hi play him up over his anticipated and unintentional lapse.
     
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  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:
    It takes one thought, one second, one moment or positive memory to act as a catalyst for the light to gradually seep in again.

    To begin with there must have been a first time events replete with incidents - some positives tangible and visible. Recalling them in good time at the right moment can trigger and strike a bell.

    2. When I hear a particular song that played and wafted through village panchayat public loudspeakers some fifty six years ago, I remember I received telegram announcing my securing first class in graduation. That was also the day 27th May 1964 when India’s first prime Minister expired. The film song from Tamil movie பச்சை விளக்கு - ஒளி மயமான எதிர்காலம் என் உள்ளத்தில் .....still reverberates and green in my memory.

    3. To remind a few days in advance of the wedding anniversary, I sing few lines of the song that she sang on that night of our first meet ... enough to keep Spouse to flood his mind with those sweet thoughts.
    4. An important event or date can always be associated with some concentrated effort and one can get to make other remember of that particular day in advance by subtle suggestions. One can mention or show the gift of the past that came into possession on that day. If the wedding day or the date of birth falls on say 21st June, one can start suggesting it is going to be the longest day of the year.

    5. And now, Coming to your question - Instead of waiting to blame afterwards or late in the night the other for not remembering the special day - best is to start making subtle suggestions a day or few days before that would trigger the other to remember which might result even in advance planning to celebrate.

    Thanks and Regards.
     
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  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:@messedup
    Thanks for being here.
    2. I trust family & you are progressing and recovering well.

    With best wishes
     
  5. MaruthiRao

    MaruthiRao Silver IL'ite

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    Well, I don't react, we are humans, natural to lose track of certain special days.... I just let go and keep making coming days special, I know some day it would come back with a shower of happiness..
     
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  6. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Gold IL'ite

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    Life is such a big chaos n each being busy with his/her own professional and personal duties.
    I do not care nor expect my partner to remember all ocassions.

    But yes I would want him to always remember my bday and our engagement anniversary n wedding anniversary. Rest doesn't matter.

    We don't even wish on each others parents anniv or bdays. He wishes his side and I wish mine.

    Having more expectations will only lead to more disappointments and more issues in married life.

    Its better to let go of some things.
     
  7. MaruthiRao

    MaruthiRao Silver IL'ite

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    Exactly, let go certain moments, is a mantra to sustain the conjugal happiness to some extent, we are matured individuals, as long as we seek our internal happiness, we can move ahead in life... No one can take this forward, it's our own drive, with a positive mindset, rest might or might not fall in place, but we get a satisfaction, I did not ruin my life, as happiness is my birthday right... God bless!!
     
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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:If hubby and spouse both are of same view, life is peaceful celebrate or not, remember or not.....
     
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  9. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    He forgot my birthday on the first year of our marriage.
    That was a time when he was busy & travelling and probably had no access to FB (11 years back), so forgot it completely.
    I felt bad, because everyone has wished me on that day, including my PILs, but not my H. He called me a couple of times that day for other matters, but not even got the hint that it was Jan 18th and it was my birthday. hmmm... I was mad at him at first, and it took him a couple of days to convince me.

    Then he forgot a couple of our anniversaries such as wedding anniversary, love anniversary and first meeting anniversary which I religiously celebrate before marriage.
    Initially I used to feel bad, and attribute to his forgetfulness as to his lack of love or respect to our relationship; hence fight.
    But now, believe me or not.... I forget the important days... We no longer remember or celebrate the first meeting day or love anniversary and our don't plan anything or wait for the birthdays or wedding anniversaries.

    Just that, we make sure we celebrate each and every day that we are together as if that is the special day we are waiting for.
    Given our demanding job, the business and all that is happening around, it is very rare that all the 4 of us stay at home for 1 week at a stretch. We used to miss all the important days due to this travelling and stuff. But when we are together, specially on Sundays when everyone is at home, we celebrate it to the level best.
     
  10. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you all for the insight.. As everyone said I guess best approach is to let go and remind them ahead of time next time..
     
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