Does this happen with anyone else?how to react and decide?

First of all stop diverting your mind by thinking of your boyfriend.
( reading love letters, rejecting options all those are by gone, You had an opportunity which you have rejected. So I say don't not repent or rethink on decision once made. Now your ex is also married, so thinking about them will be definitely wasting your time.
Secondly most important is your son's birthday.I'm writing this out of my experience purely coincidence.
Yes, my husband is also adamant about my parents visiting.It will drive him to nuts when they come to my place.I have an option you can celebrate your sons birthday at an hotel you know a small get to gather and finish it off keeping everybody happy.

One more thing do not reveal anything about your parents to him. When you inform your husband about your parents where about , he will think that you are communicating at his back.

Regards
My blessings to the little one.
Enjoy
Rohini

 

If he doesn't want your parents to come...tell him his parents will not come either. Stop this nonsense. Tell him you both can celebrate without either set of parents or with both.

 

Why expect your parents at the birthday if one is scared of the husband knowing that you are communicating with your parents?

 

If I were you, I would tell him "its okay, don't come to your kid's birthday if you really can't accommodate my parents as you promised earlier. I will manage single handedly, no worries". I would leave the conversation at that.

Let your H know that you are confident at what you are thinking, talking and doing. Then only he will take it seriously.

You have already thought of separation. So, his black-mailing of separating you once again won't upset you anymore. If he wants to live with you, then tell him that he needs to respect you as his better half. Else, better he move away. You does not need such a suppressing man in your life. Let him understand your POV.

Believe me, such men will only suppress women until they obey them. Once you prove them that you are no longer going to obey their stupid commands, but have your own views about life, they will slowly come back to you.

The fear of losing them only make you suppress all your reasonable demands. What if you lose someone who does not allow you to live normal?
Your life is gonna be no better than this, may be worst than this if you continue like this. Browsing pics of your exs, and feeling jealous about their happy life won't support you. Just live with respect, demand for it, and get it.

 

OP, never forget the saying that the grass always seems greener on the other side. You will never know the other person's ordeals unless you walk in his/her shoes.

I understand you have had a tough life with your DH but if you have decided to give him another chance do it with a full heart so that your relationship works. If you cant do that, then all I can say is you will not be able to find peace and will keep thinking of what ifs and lose out on your present.

When your DH said to give your relationship a second chance you said you did make it clear your parents would visit so sit down with him and talk to him about the promises made and how important it is to keep the promises to make your relationship work. Hope you learn to find happiness by living in your present!

 

What is this blackmailing?? If your parents come I wont come ??!! If you agree to him once, he will use this always to get his way ! Is he a kid ??
And his ego is bigger than attending his son's birthday then so be it !! You have come back to give this marriage another try and not just agree to every crap he says!!
And how is it that he thinks that ur parents will not be a part of ur son's life? Its package deal, parents come with wife, its not like after marriage u just get the wife, you get the entire family!!
You also tell him then that you dont want his parents if he cant accomodate ur parents. Typical 70's husband like he is behaving ! He wants to have his cake and eat it too !!
And plz dont hide the fact ever tht ur in touch with ur parents, u r not doing anything wrong.
I am wondering if coming back to try again for this marriage was a gud idea or not !!

 

OP,

Typical marriage and the same arguments.....about parents.

I have a different view of life. Not that, I am old fashion but, having some peace in a marriage life weigh a lot more than whose parents are more important? Both of your parents are outsiders, keep that in mind.

First priority is celebrating the birthday as a family with your DH and son. Celebrate just 3-of you as a family and make your son happy. Your son is the star of day. It's not you, your DH or either of your parents. Plan for a day of outing with your son and let him enjoy the B'day.

Request your families to visit on some other weekend, it's no big deal, if your parents wish their grand kid a week later in person. As you know, when you walk into a marriage, giving more importance to your parents over your DH will cause fraction.

It's one life to life and make it every day a happy day for the people around you.

In your heart, you have same love for parents as before your marriage. But, you don't have to prove it your parents by fighting with your DH, and making life as living nightmare.

Over time...your love will weigh more to your DH/son than your parents and it is the law of nature. --JMO

 

Stop digging and hanging onto your past. Maybe many men had proposed to you but your husband is your present. And what makes you think that alls well and hunky dory in those mens life.. their pics on FB?? U need to ask their wives. No man is born perfect..no couple is perfect. Its all about how you adjust and what you want from life..
Regarding calling your parents on b'day, I would suggest dont fight on the issue. Dont call either parents- nor your's nor dh's . Just 3 of you spend some quality time with each other. It will certainly be better than you people arguing and spoiling poor child's b'day..