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Does the Husband need to be Older than the Wife?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by kAlyaniShAnti, May 23, 2010.

  1. kAlyaniShAnti

    kAlyaniShAnti IL Hall of Fame

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    Usually in a marriage the husband is older than the wife. There are a few exceptions to this though, mostly celebrities, but in majority of the cases a wife elder than the husband is not acceptable in the society? Sometimes a few months here and there is OK, but the girl older by years is a strict no no !

    Is there any scientific reason behind this or is that it has become a norm as it has been practised over the years in the society?

    Dear Friends,

    Could you pour on your views ?

    Regards
     
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  2. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    i have a friend in Ahmedabad who is ten years junior to his wife, they have two kids and are very happy together. She is a JD, MBA and he is high school drop out. They have been together ten years or more now. The families are ok with it.

    In my (American) family I have several aunts who were about nine years older than their husbands. Interestingly all had the husband die first even with the age difference.

    There is a school of thought that physically a woman is better matched to younger guy in the sexual dept as women peak sexually in their forties and if they have a 60 or 70 year old husband he is incapable of satisfying her. I have seen several cases where this happened and the wife had lovers and sometimes a divorce.
     
  3. kAlyaniShAnti

    kAlyaniShAnti IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks Dear Tashi,
    for giving the first comment. I also read about the concern as u mentioned in the last para.

    I guess many such relations do no mature only because of the fear of not having family and social support after marriage. It is unfortunate !
     
  4. Shilpa Pratheep

    Shilpa Pratheep Bronze IL'ite

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    The scientific reason behind this is, women mature faster than men , when men are @ 30 and women @ 27 have same level of maturity, it is advisable that there is at least 2-3 (not more than 5)years of difference.

    Say for example man is 25 and lady is 27, he is still acting like 23 year old going for party, outing n with his his friends, not mature enough to handle a relationship, where as wife expecting him to head of family feels dejected all these can happen.

    However this is a generic case there ae exceptions, and this completely depends on individual, if both are compatible and find happiness in each other no qualms about it.
     
  5. mithy232

    mithy232 Silver IL'ite

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    Age doesn't matter. Maturity level matters.

    I second Shilpa. I guess the scientific reason must be 'women age faster than men'. My cousin brother got married last month. They waited for 10years since the love started in the school days. Now when I saw them in the wedding I was shocked - the girl looks like a grown up lady whereas my brother looks like a school boy. Here I feel looks also matter. In such marriages, girls should be very careful in maintaining the looks.
     
  6. deepd

    deepd Gold IL'ite

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    I second Mithy that age doesnt matter its mental level or maturity that does matter.

    this is an age old tradition in Indian culture that husband is always senior in age than wife. sometimes the difference is as much as 20 years. there is a scientific reason for this. this started in ancient times.at that time the man kind was evolving and to increase the population people were producing more children which would result in more working hands for the family to survive.
    Females have a very short productive period than males. So if a man marries a woman much younger than him then they can be productive for many years which means more children. So from there this custom started.
    But now a days with so much of advancements and cultural changes it really doesnt matter who is the older husband or wife. They should be mature enough to sail through the marriage smoothly.

    My 2 cents...
     
  7. vidhkarthik

    vidhkarthik Bronze IL'ite

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    Mithy - Quick Qn. So what if she looks like a grown up women? Shouldn't the love which lasted for 10 yrs through stress and opposition be appreciated than the fact that the girl looks grown up and the boy looks younger - For me it wouldn't be a big deal and the girl need not be insecure and try to look younger just to stand by the man she loves.
     
  8. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    No hard and fast rule. Maturity and compatibility will determine success of a marriage. Not whether it is Love Mg/Arranged Mg, DH older/DW older, looks etc.
     
  9. mithy232

    mithy232 Silver IL'ite

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    Vidhkarthik,

    When I said looks, I didn't mean looking like Aishwarya Rai. Being fit and healthy is important. Why use "Love" as an excuse?! I agree looks are not so important for being in love. But I feel it becomes an important criteria for same age couples. When the girl looks like a sister to the guy, won't the girl herself feel bad??
     
  10. kAlyaniShAnti

    kAlyaniShAnti IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Shilpa, Deepd, Mithy, Vidh, Spidy,

    Thanks for your feedbacks and opinions.

    Yes, I agree with the biological explanation behind the present norm in the society.... But personally I echo with those who said maturity and compatibility among the partners are the deciding factors, not the age.
     

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