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Does Karma Really Exist In Relationships?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Needtobestrong, Apr 18, 2021.

  1. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    I have a aunt who will always say good things about all other cousins in the family except us. Indirectly she will keep taunting us for our negatives or fallouts. All others are saints in her sight. If her relative works hard she will say he has got a good job. If someone from my side works hard she will say what is the use of slogging so much. Over the years I have realised that good words n praises flow in the direction of money or monetary benefit. The moment u stop doing favours to this kind of people, they start taunting.

    In your case you can ignore your Mil or show her the correct picture of how free the other ladies are in their life. If your mil or husband refuse to understand, no point in arguing. Just try to get a job and be like the other ladies.
     
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  2. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    If we hope for something bad to happen or expect someone to suffer, because they did wrong to us, we are also doing bad karma.

    So do things thats right for you without expectations, do the best, rest will taken care of. It also include standing up for yourself and setting a healthy boundary, taking care of one self.

    When we know that we can't control some thing or others and we waste time thinking about it instead of using that time & energy in fruitful ways, thats also bad karma. If karma works, we will also suffer consequence of our own actions for sure.

    When we hate or are jealous of someone, that person wont suffer, instead, these negativity affects our thoughts and poisons our mind and body. So if we dont do things whole- heartedly we dont get any reward. In my own experience, its best to do your duty based on your conditions, be its bare minimum , and the rest is not in our hands. All those peoples who appear happy may have sad stories they dont want to tell.

    I feel its all about choices and time. If we are with right people, ( for example husband ) every thing works well. But if we are with wrong person in wrong place and wrong time, we suffer life long. But how we reach there, that probability is called fate, its outside our control. In that case what we can do is accept and try to make it better or exit.

    These beliefs of ' rebirth' may be due to the fact that we fail to explain, why me? Why I have to suffer even when I believe I did good karma. So we try to console ourselves that.. May be I have done something wrong in last birth. We still dont have evidence on how it works.

    Whether its life or health, many have asked this question. Some questions still have no satisfactory answer, so is Karma
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2021
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  3. Ruby2019

    Ruby2019 Silver IL'ite

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    I think a lot of us will hope it happens but may never see it happen.

    Same as a lot of ladies, me too suffered a lot with in laws and they will tell me I will have karma for the bad things I’ve done. Lol. Once I did tell my husband that if I do get karma, it should be full of good deeds cause I’ve don’t it’s of good things for them all.

    but end of the day, my evil in laws and SIL are the ones that are happy while I am so miserable. I told myself that if I wait for karma and not see it happen, I’ll only feel more miserable and question god/life. So I’m telling myself to not believe in it. So not to be disappointed.

    my mum too suffered a lot with in laws. Got chased out of the house with a young kid in the middle of the night, had to hand wash clothes right after pregnancy and basically tortured each min she was in that house. All her pay went to them but her MIL would tell everyone that her daughters paid for everything in that house. Even accused my mum of flirting with her daughter’s husband. I’ve seen my whole life my mum hating them. My grandma passed away and in her deathbed asked to see my mum but did not even ask for forgiveness. My mum told me she cursed her SIL so badly in those days for what they did to my mum. But today, they are all still so happy with filial children and happy lives. Till today my mum gets so angry when she thinks about them. So I think she ‘waiting’ for karma has only made her more bitter about the situation.
     
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  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yeah so the more we are aware..it is better for us.

    As long as you treat them with basic respect,more than enough.If people expect more that is their problem.

    Sometimes in the name of pleasing people we overdo and others take advantage.

    In the process..we lose ourselves.

    I stopped this.I started keeping boundaries.I will be nice basically but will not overdo things but will surely return the favor unasked for people who are nice to me.

    Remember....

    In this kaliyug,it is tough to be Harichandra but one has to be like Chanakya!

    At the same time..conscience is needed not to go to extreme madness like some people.

    Everything in limit is good.It is needed.

    I have always blamed myself as to why am treated so poor despite being nice.

    Trust me...learnt it the hard way..Straight trees are cut first!

    Be nice ,be good but never overdo anything.
     
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  5. Desiindian

    Desiindian Silver IL'ite

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    OP, if karma is true.. it means your in-laws had done something really good year before and now good has sent them a DIL like you to serve and care them.
     
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  6. lavani

    lavani Finest Post Winner

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    i do not believe in karma. karma is what most folks use to fool themselves to tolerate abuse or justify if something is not going well in their life .

    so let's say your in Inlaws torture you for next 10 years and finally they are so old , then due to age issues they have health problems or infact severe health issues . can we name as karma. but what about the 10 years of pain and depression. who will return that time.

    god has given you the power to make choices to defend or make decisions on life just as the same they have the power. now it is in your hands to use however you want.
     
  7. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    I think Karma cannot be interpreted directly in this way, as a black and white cause effect relationship.

    The way I have been interpreting karma recently is in relation to my internal peace/happiness. My internal feeling of happiness and a clear conscience is the fruit of my good karma. Constantly thinking of how another person is happy while I am not and wishing for something bad to happen to the other person, or hoping for some realization on the other party and tormenting myself with these thoughts, in my opinion is the bad consequence.

    For that, the first thing I did was to lower my expectations of anyone to near zero. I sometimes complain to myself that my husband doesn't pitch in as much as I think he should, in-laws don't acknowledge my role at times, this that and other. What I came to realize that for the other person, these are either really fleeting thoughts or they are clueless how they are affecting you, while I would just be stewing and stewing in the negativity of how or why they could behave with me like this and how unfair it is etc. etc. I think growing older gives a pretty new perspective on things! Just continue doing what's comfortable for you, what's acceptable for you without feeling guilty, and just go on. Whether my husband pitched in or not, the house needed to keep running, whether my in-laws were acknowledging me or not, things needed to keep moving. So I just thought the best thing is to just do what I could to the best of my abilities and just move on.

    I think karmapalan is all in your mind. If your mind is peaceful, that is the result of good karma. That is how I have made peace with things.
     
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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:
    Dhritarashtra born blind also due to karma as some birds escaped from burning net but blinded. Karma to pay him ( hunter) in the same coin had to pass fifty incarnations of himself.

    Karma negative and karma positive are not added as arithmetic sum and the resultant is given the effect. Good karma portion gives enjoyment happiness as rewards. Bad karma does exactly the opposite.

    Every being has periods of happiness and sorrow, luck and I’ll- luck, depending on the quantum of -ve & + ve karma balance. +ve karmas can not wash away -ve karmas. Many affluent ones overnight turns into pauper and vice versa. Some call it quirk of fate.

    But one has not to conclude that after one’s death, his or her karma balance is zero.

    Many doers of only good, die young sometimes. Could be there karma reached level zero. Doing good and suffered all through like Father of Nation, Martin Luther....

    When karma balance turns zero, then one gets automatically promoted into the realm of Great Designer. The place also called as Lotus feet of the Lord, vaikunda the abode of Narayana....
     
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  9. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    This good-bad double-entry accounting concept, with the net-bad-deeds, also known as Accounts-Payable, going into the next birth for collection, is quite good. Charles Dickens lacked the imagination to stretch out "A Christmas Carol" into a much much longer story, with the rebirth of Ebenezer Scrooge.
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2021
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  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Somewhere in recent past I read a powerful question as to how the karma begins with the first creation of the lord. The first created animal of the species or and man or woman born pure but to be born one has or had balance of karma. It is a paradox!
     
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