Log in or Sign up

How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
Dismiss Notice

Does having daughters make a difference?

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by lovelydoll, Jun 1, 2010.

Page 2 of 5

Jun 2, 2010 #11

gjaya Silver IL'ite

Messages:

1,305

Likes Received:

19

Trophy Points:

68

Gender:

Female

100% agree with you Sri. Wonderfully written. :thumbsup

SriVidya75 said: ↑

This world consists of all kinds of people...I have seen MILs who dont have daughters, but treat their DILs like daughters..at the same time there are MILs who dont have daughters but still make the DILs life hell , as MILs are not the center of the attraction anymore!! (all men around and MIL should have been the only woman in the house, till the DIL came along and MIL has to share the attention:hide

Also there are MILs who have daughters, and they know how their daughters are facing tough times at the inlaws..but still the MILs give difficult time to the DIL....On the other hand there are MILs who are soo careful that they dont hurt or upset the DIL of the house as the MIL knows very well how their daughters are having tough time to manage inlaws

Bottomline: Its more on the nature of the person rather than having / not having daughters. people do things as per their convenience. Have you ever thought, why most of the inlaws use the word saying " we want to treat our DIL as our daughter" but they never follow up that comment or introspect on their actions to check whether they livedup to their own expectations or not (i.e do they still beleive in treating DIL as a daughter??)
Click to expand...

gjaya, Jun 2, 2010

gjaya, Jun 2, 2010

#11
Jun 2, 2010 #12

lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

Messages:

116

Likes Received:

0

Trophy Points:

16

Gender:

Female

needhelp123 said: ↑

My MIL has two daughters and a son (my DH). And I have not a good relationship with her. I think in many cases MIL with daughters compare their DIL with their own daughters and of cause they consider them as so much better in everything than the DIL!
So having daughters makes no difference.
But as anukarsha said we cannot generalize!
Click to expand...

yeah, I agree with you :cheers

lovelydoll, Jun 2, 2010

lovelydoll, Jun 2, 2010

#12
Jun 2, 2010 #13

lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

Messages:

116

Likes Received:

0

Trophy Points:

16

Gender:

Female

Yeah, nagging SIL adds to MIL's.
MIL's are people with no change in character since history I believe. Even my MIL is not different and this time in India , showed me a full length picture and things going on.....................
may be if a girl is present , small issues or atleast feelings might be similar for these male dominants families:thumbsup

maggi99 said: ↑

Doll, Its like you spoke my heart out...

My MIL has just 2 sons and she says the same as yours and if i think of it:rotfl...

Yes I too strong believe this is true in most of the cases that I have seen. Truely they (MIL, FIL, BIL, DH) dont know to handle things softly. They dont understand the delicate aspect of a Girl's feelings.

During my wedding talks, my sis (elder to me by abt 10yrs) asked my then tobe FIL for a change in a small ritual saying these days youngsters prefer to have something this way... He bluntly said "you have a daughter so Beware your words". We all were dumb stuck.
Count that NO be said politely.

At times I feel this is better than a Nagging SIL
Click to expand...

lovelydoll, Jun 2, 2010

lovelydoll, Jun 2, 2010

#13
Jun 2, 2010 #14

lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

Messages:

116

Likes Received:

0

Trophy Points:

16

Gender:

Female

OOPALL said: ↑

I personally think it depends on the individual. Not everyone has the same feeling. Some families that have boys only show a lot of love to DIL and some vice versa..
JMO

OOPALL.
Click to expand...

yeah, its an individual opinion about how one feels dear
thanks for ur feedback :thumbsup

lovelydoll, Jun 2, 2010

lovelydoll, Jun 2, 2010

#14
Jun 2, 2010 #15

lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

Messages:

116

Likes Received:

0

Trophy Points:

16

Gender:

Female

chocolate said: ↑

Having Daughters makes no difference to my IL's. My husband has an elder sister. My IL's wish the world for her but treat me like I am a burden in my husband's life. I thought having a daughter they wud realise when there was trouble in our marriage. But , it didnt and they made our lives hell.So daughters or no daughter's make no difference.IL's and husbands try to prove their high handedness in any instance they can.Only thing we DIL's need is lots of Good Luck to get thru them.
Click to expand...

well said husbands are chosen by luck , even I believe this :thumbsup
acceptance into the family is important , and this may need a whole life also, as we are outsiders for them :spin

lovelydoll, Jun 2, 2010

lovelydoll, Jun 2, 2010

#15
Jun 2, 2010 #16

lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

Messages:

116

Likes Received:

0

Trophy Points:

16

Gender:

Female

I am with your opinion and this namesake things really bring hatred and distance from them ,they should realize all these and happily welcome a person to their house to make it a home. I no longer like it anyways :drowning

SriVidya75 said: ↑

This world consists of all kinds of people...I have seen MILs who dont have daughters, but treat their DILs like daughters..at the same time there are MILs who dont have daughters but still make the DILs life hell , as MILs are not the center of the attraction anymore!! (all men around and MIL should have been the only woman in the house, till the DIL came along and MIL has to share the attention:hide

Also there are MILs who have daughters, and they know how their daughters are facing tough times at the inlaws..but still the MILs give difficult time to the DIL....On the other hand there are MILs who are soo careful that they dont hurt or upset the DIL of the house as the MIL knows very well how their daughters are having tough time to manage inlaws

Bottomline: Its more on the nature of the person rather than having / not having daughters. people do things as per their convenience. Have you ever thought, why most of the inlaws use the word saying " we want to treat our DIL as our daughter" but they never follow up that comment or introspect on their actions to check whether they livedup to their own expectations or not (i.e do they still beleive in treating DIL as a daughter??)
Click to expand...

lovelydoll, Jun 2, 2010

lovelydoll, Jun 2, 2010

#16
Jun 2, 2010 #17

raha256 Bronze IL'ite

Messages:

163

Likes Received:

7

Trophy Points:

25

Gender:

Female

whether they have a daughter or not its the human mindset which is creating trouble. so bad inlaws are always bad and good are always good.

my MIL is not having a daughter but my realtionship with my inlaws are:rant

raha256, Jun 2, 2010

raha256, Jun 2, 2010

#17

sindmani likes this.
Jun 2, 2010 #18

parvathi1980 Platinum IL'ite

Messages:

1,137

Likes Received:

1,307

Trophy Points:

283

Gender:

Female

well in my case my sil is very much younger to me nd dh and is unmarried. So she gangs up with mil and plays big time politics! :bonkshe does not hesitate in making hurtful remarks and playing a big role in destroying peace in the family! In my opinion unmarried sils are a nuisance.

parvathi1980, Jun 2, 2010

parvathi1980, Jun 2, 2010

#18
Jun 2, 2010 #19

Tugga Silver IL'ite

Messages:

692

Likes Received:

80

Trophy Points:

83

Gender:

Female

My MIL has no daughters and I am her first DIL. The first ever female person to enter in that male dominated family.

This relationship has both positive and negative sides.

Positives:
- MIL loves to talk openly
- MIL shares her ornamants/jewels and other precious items (that can be used by a female only) with me
- MIL take cares of me when I am sick and understands my female problems.. During period times and pregnancy times. And she orders my DH to give me some special care as I need more attention now. She pretends it is a female thing and males do not understand, so give more importance to my sickness and ask others to take care of me. Reason, she didn't have anyone at her home to understand her inner feelings and pains till my entry.

Negatives:
- MIL goes with my FIL's male chavunist decisions and expect the same from my side too.. Which means I must keep quite when my DH alone makes our family decisions
- She works in her home like a servant and do all the savas to her DH and sons. So, she expects all women must do the same.. As if we have no other things to do.

And few other minor issues... But I love to be a DIL of a no-daughter family like this.. So I am happy

Tugga, Jun 2, 2010

Tugga, Jun 2, 2010

#19

sindmani likes this.
Jun 2, 2010 #20

deepd Gold IL'ite

Messages:

938

Likes Received:

165

Trophy Points:

108

Gender:

Female

SriVidya75 said: ↑

Also there are MILs who have daughters, and they know how their daughters are facing tough times at the inlaws..but still the MILs give difficult time to the DIL....
Click to expand...

I totally agree with srividya on this.
We can not generalize.aAll kinds of people are there. so a MIL can be good or bad irrespective of the fact whether she has a daughter or not.

deepd, Jun 2, 2010

deepd, Jun 2, 2010

#20

sindmani likes this.

(You must log in or sign up to reply here.)

Page 2 of 5

Share This Page