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Does having daughters make a difference?

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by lovelydoll, Jun 1, 2010.

  1. lovelydoll

    lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

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    hey ladies,
    I have a small doubt whether MIL's with daughters have a better attitude towards DIL than MIL without the daughters?
    My MIL has no daughters but she never has a daughter feeling towards me, but before all has a lot of affection saying she is EQUAL to my daughter, that will never happen in my dream also.
    please express your views , because I feel they don't have a daughter, so may be a girl relation and affection is missing and I am always confused with the guys dominance in the house with no caring for a female.:rant
     
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  2. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    I disagree.
    I have only sons. when I do become a MIL I will make sure DIL's are treated like loving daughters apprectiate her positives and forgive her negatives.
    I feel usually mothers without daughters long for having a girl companionship at home. Only have to makesure the MIL will not be overcrowding the couple with all the love.:hide:
     
  3. anukarsha

    anukarsha Gold IL'ite

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    Dear lovelydoll! i feel it is individual perception.we can't generalise actually but i've seen quite few ladies treating there DILs as their own daughters irrespecitve of having their own daughters or not.take care dear.be optimistic.cheers-anu:)
     
    sindmani likes this.
  4. needhelp123

    needhelp123 Silver IL'ite

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    My MIL has two daughters and a son (my DH). And I have not a good relationship with her. I think in many cases MIL with daughters compare their DIL with their own daughters and of cause they consider them as so much better in everything than the DIL!
    So having daughters makes no difference.
    But as anukarsha said we cannot generalize!
     
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2010
  5. lovelydoll

    lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

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    :thumbsup:thumbsup sounds great ars, and even lucky for the one who enters your family.
    every one may have a different opinion about daughters, as I already said though no daughters in our house, my MIL doesn't accept me
     
  6. lovelydoll

    lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

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    yeah dear anukarsha, its a personal perception , but I am trying to know does it has any effect with the relation.
    Even few MIL who have daughters are good, while others are worst. So, just trying to know
    thanks for ur opinion :thumbsup
     
  7. maggi99

    maggi99 Senior IL'ite

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    Doll, Its like you spoke my heart out...

    My MIL has just 2 sons and she says the same as yours and if i think of it:rotfl...

    Yes I too strong believe this is true in most of the cases that I have seen. Truely they (MIL, FIL, BIL, DH) dont know to handle things softly. They dont understand the delicate aspect of a Girl's feelings.

    During my wedding talks, my sis (elder to me by abt 10yrs) asked my then tobe FIL for a change in a small ritual saying these days youngsters prefer to have something this way... He bluntly said "you have a daughter so Beware your words". We all were dumb stuck.
    Count that NO be said politely.

    At times I feel this is better than a Nagging SIL
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2010
  8. OOPALL

    OOPALL Silver IL'ite

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    I personally think it depends on the individual. Not everyone has the same feeling. Some families that have boys only show a lot of love to DIL and some vice versa..
    JMO

    OOPALL.
     
  9. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Having Daughters makes no difference to my IL's. My husband has an elder sister. My IL's wish the world for her but treat me like I am a burden in my husband's life. I thought having a daughter they wud realise when there was trouble in our marriage. But , it didnt and they made our lives hell.So daughters or no daughter's make no difference.IL's and husbands try to prove their high handedness in any instance they can.Only thing we DIL's need is lots of Good Luck to get thru them.
     
  10. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    This world consists of all kinds of people...I have seen MILs who dont have daughters, but treat their DILs like daughters..at the same time there are MILs who dont have daughters but still make the DILs life hell , as MILs are not the center of the attraction anymore!! (all men around and MIL should have been the only woman in the house, till the DIL came along and MIL has to share the attention:hide:)

    Also there are MILs who have daughters, and they know how their daughters are facing tough times at the inlaws..but still the MILs give difficult time to the DIL....On the other hand there are MILs who are soo careful that they dont hurt or upset the DIL of the house as the MIL knows very well how their daughters are having tough time to manage inlaws

    Bottomline: Its more on the nature of the person rather than having / not having daughters. people do things as per their convenience. Have you ever thought, why most of the inlaws use the word saying " we want to treat our DIL as our daughter" but they never follow up that comment or introspect on their actions to check whether they livedup to their own expectations or not (i.e do they still beleive in treating DIL as a daughter??)
     

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