Do you spare time to listen to your kids?

“The School will teach children how to read, but the Environment of the home must teach them what to read. The school can teach them how to think, but the home must teach them what to believe. ”
….Charles A Wells


When we say discussions on Kids, immediately we talk about their education and their future, which is quite natural. But I felt, we should discuss about other things, so here I come with ideas which I would like to share :

My younger one who is 10 years old, as soon as she reaches home, will start her bla….bla…..and we should listen to her …otherwise, “amma, listen to me…if elder one interrupts, “akka, keep quiet!!…..”, if I ask her whether you ate your lunch, what did they teach today, what did you do,etc , etc …..she won’t listen to me…..she wants me to listen to her….and the next 20 minutes will be her time….to start with “amma, akka was not talking to me in the bus, but turning backside and talking to her friends….amma, rita liked your puliyodara very much, she asked me for more…..amma, teacher asked me to collect the notebooks and give it to her in the staff room…..it goes on and on…these things may look little silly……but, finally, I understood, it is very much necessary for the mother to listen to the children first and then make them listen to us….

Listening is a powerful tool and parents never utilise that. We should have patience to listen to them and most important thing is we should never interrupt. This way they can come up with what they are upto and what are they are intending to say. When we listen to them carefully, we know exactly what question to ask next and in what direction the conversation is going to.

Next, comes the timing…..We need to create quality time for our children in this fast world. When we have lot of time to listen to others, why not to kids?... especially teenagers. They should not feel bored of spending time with us.

Teenage girls experience a lot of changes during this time, physically, sexually, emotionally and even in behaviour.
Here, mother plays a key role and strong guidance is needed from parents , that too at right time. Any Decision taken after the time lapses, may not yield any fruitful result.

Here, I would like to mention about a small incident. One of our friend’s family is living in Latin America. They are living there for the past two years. Their elder daughter is entering her teens now and she could not digest or get along with the so-called Western Culture there, especially in her school – like dating, etc and clearly told her parents that she would like to go back to India for her further studies. Her parents also took necessary actions immediately and agreed for the same and made arrangements to send her back to India to stay with her grand-parents. Here, I would really appreciate the bold decision taken by the girl at this young age and immediate action taken by the parents. In this case, parents really do not want to take any chance.

Parents should trust their instincts and take action immediately before the situation deteriorates.

Many parents have the habit of comparing their children with other children. We should never do that. Parents should look at the individual situation and try to solve their problems.

Key Points to remember :

1. A mother can be the children’s best friends, let them understand that you are their friend.

2. Give time for them to talk openly, Do not interrupt, listen to them carefully and give value to what they say.

3. We should make them understand that we care for them, we are there for them, and we are with them any time.

4. We should make them understand that how much we love them, and their importance in our life and they mean a
lot to us.

5. In bringing up children, spend on them half as much money and twice as much time and the secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be his or her parent but to be his/her best friend. I really feel proud and happy whenever my daughter says “ Amma, You are my best friend”….

I take leave here and would like to have your views……..

 

Dear Shanthi,

You are the one with the first fb and I would like to thank you for the same.. Since there are 12 views with no fbs, I thought i have not penned my views properly.

Yes, you should allot ample time for them to talk, that too openly...they should feel free to talk even delicate issues...especially, for teenage kids, we should make them feel free... and as you mentioned quality time should be spent with them...

Thanks for stepping in and giving your views.

 

Thanks for stepping in vahee...as you said, it should start from nursery and when they know that we are ready to listen to all their bak..baks....when it comes to serious things also, they will not have any second thought to talk to us.....

As you said, quality time spent is much important...spending time definitely doesn't mean that sitting with them in the drawing hall to watch TV.....we, in our house, (since both of us are working and my DH comes back only by 8, he won't get much time to spend with kids and since elder one is in 9th and younger one in 5th, both will be busy in their studies), have the habit of spending thursday evenings (being the weekend), only with the kids. and it is just their time and we don't fix any other program, unless it is really necessary...

Nice to know that you liked this topic....

 

Dear Supriya,

Thanks for stepping and glad to know that you liked the post.

As you said, when we listen to the kids, we also feel much relieved...you know one thing?...my younger one will be ready with the next question by the time we answer for the first....sometimes i really get surprised as to how the kids think so much?

Thank you dear....

 

Dear Saroj,

Thanks for stepping in and sharing your thoughts....

Yes saroj, when the listener and speaker are clear about what they are talking about, definitely the result will be fruitful....

Here I would like to share a small incident about my elder daughter....She was in her school band for the past five years...she joined us a corporrel then Lans Corporrel and was elected as Vice Captain, last year...now since she is in 9th std, we asked her to quit her school band (sometimes, they have skip the classes if they have to conduct any program, till 8th std we thought it was ok since she is good in academics, but 9th std it is different na)) and left the decision to her....from the beginning of this academic year till may end, she was in dilemma...and one fine day she came and told that she made up her mind and is going to quit...then she added that her friend was forcing her to stay back in band, so that they can skip classes ....my DD was telling "if I continues, I may be guided by her wrongly.....so I decided to quit"....we really welcomed her decision....

Thanks for sharing your thoughts here....