Do you spank your toddler ?

now girls.. i need some strong words of advice.. yesterday i spanked DD, and man.. that was for no big reason. we were doing some counting stuff in a book.. she counted 11 and that was the right answer. then she wanted to write the 11 herself. two standing lines. but she wrote the 1 on the right first and then the 1 on the left next. i didnt expect that, so kept teaching her again and again. now she would do that right once and a while later, she repeats the same mistake. (btw, is this something to be concerned about or would this happen during the initial days of reading/writing??)

after close to 3 times, i gave her a real hard hit. why did i do that? you must have looked at her face.. so much of disappointment. afterall she did the counting right, and i didnt expect her to write at all. am sure she is going to be scared of writing from now on. i profusely apologized and then moved on the next exercise in the book and she said "writing vendaam" (no need writing). words of wisdom ladies !

 

oh hugs Asha. Did you have a particularly bad or stressful day? My DS too writes 'n' as a mirror image and counts backwards - like '54' he would read from backwards and say '45'. i think they'd get over that. may be you can also tell her teacher that you noticed her way of writing. they'd be able to correct it faster. i know how you feel.... why not buy a nice gift for her... take care!

Latha

 

thanks latha for the quick response...
at-home sundays are reposeful usually.. just that she didn't let me nap, but i was ok with that coz i had anyway planned for this book with dd when ds was asleep. poor thing.. she kept doing how i hit her throughout the rest of the day narrating the incident to her dad, and took my sorrys to her advantage advising me not to hit her again. i did make her favorite pasta last evening and took her for a evening walk (just me and her), but it pains. maybe i didn't explain to her properly for her to understand. i think these rants are for a different thread.. sorry !

and latha - i just read that they would get over these issues soon. they haven't started writing in her school yet. not for this year. in fact they would not want me to do even counting now (for whatever reason, they stopped the counting exercise at school for pre kgs calling it too much for this class). reading from left to right, it took her about 2 days to get a hang of it. patience patience is all i need now !!!!

 

hi asha,
remember how bad u felt this time by spanking her.trust me u will never want to spank her again.
she is still very young .concentrate on reading rather then writting.she will learn.for my 5+ son they are still teaching counting till 20 .just imagine he learnt to count till hundred when i was in India last year & here they are still stuck at 20 .
yes,i do teach him at home but only if he is interested.if not then i remind myself that he is not lagging behind at least in this present scenerio.

 

yes pragati. i was never going to ask her to write. in fact i wrote 11 after which she wanted to try the 2 standing lines herself. thank you for your note.

on a side note, by saying counting till 20, are they teaching numbers till only 20 or do they restrict to 20 with counting? if its counting, and they have taught more numbers, why should they restrict counting to 20? isn't it the same to count 20 or 200 (as long as the child knows to stop counting at the right time, and the child wouldn't get lost with huge numbers)? just wondering..

 

hi asha,
basically they don't want the kids to just count but understand the concept of numbers & there use.
i quote from his friday circular about what the taught last week & what to expect this week in numeracy
in the past few weeks the kids have been introduced to the concept of time.they have started to understand that we can measure time and that hours,minutes & secs are measure of time...................................(about how to further make them practice concept of time at home)
we have also continued to count to 20,recognising numbers upto 20 ,counting sounds & movements as well as estimating & checking quantities.encourage ur child to count at home & guide then to draw & write given numbers of some easy objects.next week we continue with time & start the concept of weight.......................(how they will teach weight& how parents can help)
initially,i used to be very frustrated but i did not wanted to confuse him by introducing my own ways of teaching.so ,yes i do teach him at home but only if he wants to learn .
pragati

 

ok super... thats interesting pragati..
count the sounds and movements is something i didnt think of.

 

Asha, I just read this thread. 2 weeks back, I spanked her once, before even i realised, it was all over! I was giving bath to her, water was tepid, but she took a cup of chill water from the other bucket and poured on her head. And I gave pppaaaattt!
The conversation that we had after about 2hrs of spanking:
P: Shalini, am sorry for whatever has happened.
S: (Sad face). Humm. I didnt like that. It hurts.
P: I was concerned that you would fall sick again, you didnt listen when I said you cant pour chill water on your head.
S: Yes, I didnt listen, its my mistake, but whatsoever, I dont like you spanking me
P: bonk) Ok, so what else should I do,when you do such things and fall sick?
S: Let me fall sick, I didnt listen right, so let me fall sick, suffer, get injections, I wont do it next time. But dont spank me!
P::hide: I cant see you sick
S: Falling sick is better than getting spanked
P: :drowning (Blank), Ok, I wont spank you henceforth, come near me, I wanna kiss you,
S: I dont want one, bye, I am going to neighbours' place. Call me out for my reading time.

I wrote this here 2weeks back, but post vanished Now posting it again. Kids are a lot more sensitive these days. I was infact sitting and wondering, whether all this freedom to talk/express is for good or its over-parenting!
Help me mommas.

 

pon.. thats very sweet of S. she is very clear in what she wants. as you say, kids these days are emotionally sensitive. the spanking that mommies do probably aren't going to affect them physically, but it hurts their little heart. freedom to express is indeed good for them in the long run when they have to face the realities of life.