1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Do you really believe that widows and divorce can cast evil eye??

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by cutemonster, Nov 1, 2014.

do you really believe that widows and divorce can cast evil eye?

  1. No

    88.1%
  2. yes

    4.8%
  3. cant say

    7.1%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. coolsandy

    coolsandy Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    845
    Likes Received:
    522
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    just a quick note.. this mundan is in Hindu religion, irrespective of the regions.
     
  2. coolsandy

    coolsandy Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    845
    Likes Received:
    522
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    There is no one line or one word answer for the post... you know, like, yes or no... for me it all depends on one's nature/maturity/situations et al. If a person is strong enough to handle singledom, either in a late marriage or as a divorcee, or as a widow, then they can handle anything and there would never ever be any negative aura from them.

    Forget about widows or divorcees, I have seen single women getting jealous of other girls who have boy friends and even the best of friends' rapport collapsed. I knew both of them, and both were good as persons but everyone wants a partner(yep, there are exceptions) and when doesn't get one in the right time, depending on their character, there could be negative vibes from them and I am sure that would automatically cast an evil eye. Again, this is not a generalization, this is just one of those things in life, where a person XYZ gets and when other doesn't get it, all they get is jealous of XYZ and might even bad mouth them apart from nazar lagaana.

    I have a colleague(lets call her Bindu)who is always boasting about her husband that he is extremely fond of her and is always good to her etc. In short, she has a happy married life. Another team member(Navya) has some marital problems and always compares her husband with Bindu's husband.In fact situation demands comparison. Even without her own knowledge, Navya starts comparing and Bindu takes advantage of this and bad mouths Navya and just some dirty politics. For me. Bindu is bad and wants Navya to suffer more and she is the one spreading negative vibes here. There are many such similar incidents with other sets of females who do spell evil eye.

    For that matter, I have seen unmarried men getting jealous of married men too; it could be for any reason, unable to find a partner for themselves and jealous of his friends having fun with their girlfriends/wives or just anything. I think, this jealousy, might not exist everywhere, but it does in some cases and there is no gender exception here.
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. HasteRaho

    HasteRaho Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    621
    Likes Received:
    1,160
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    Going by that train of thought, what's stopping everyone else from casting an evil eye? Is there a special ability that widows and divorcees acquire to be able to cast it in a way that no one else can?

    How about for employment and career? Do we then fear all the youngins, the retired and the unemployed for casting an evil eye?

    :roll: Yeah, I don't think so. Seems like yet another disassociative mentality of "us vs. them" that creates fear, distrust and hey look...yet another excuse for demeaning women (as if there weren't already enough problems of that nature).
     
    3 people like this.
  4. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    23,659
    Likes Received:
    27,219
    Trophy Points:
    590
    Gender:
    Female
    Cutemonster,

    Can definitely understand the pain. I have not voted for this thread, because i simply don't think there is a need to. the reason being beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and not the object.

    i know a couple who are always touching each other and hugging at parties (nothing wrong), another friend who has marital tension at home. during a get to gether, the couple were almost over each other, and this friend was feeling a little uncomfortable. the couple also knew about the issues in the other friend's home. now if the couple had a misunderstanding or a argument immediately after the get together, for some petty reason and blame the other friend it is stupidity. actually if they were really her friend too, they would have given consideration to the feeling of the other person and toned down their behavior. we are a generation of people who need some x to be the one to take the blame for anything wrong that happens.. so the evil eye definitely plays a great scapegoat..

    A childless couple being given a detailed narration of the pranks of their child without taking into consideration the effect it could have on the couple, is bad..and if the child falls sick for some reason (children fall sick ) blame it on the couple's evil eye.

    coming to the thali. this is my reasoning based on what i have read, heard. i have heard my fil talk about his elder sister sometimes.. she is 88 today. so this happened 75+ years back. she was 10. playing around. her marriage took place and that she did not realise what her marriage meant is another story. but after two days, she was walking to school with her thaali displayed, how much ever his mom told her to keep it in she would not. it was more of a new something special that was hers to be displayed.

    not to say we are talking about the time of plague, lots of child death. child brides and child widows were a common thing. to keep the curiosity at bay. and the questions that arise from other children where there were widows too (we are talking of joint families and people living in closer knit). even widows who were 8/9 were not bared from the rigid customs (paalangal by sivasankari is a wonderful book that can enligten a lot on the transitions through three generations. the english translation is bridges ), naturally curious questions would have arised. and to keep both parties shut they would have put the fear. i tend to derive that to make them understand they would have put the fear of evil eye.

    Our grandparents and great grandparents generation did not believe in disclosing reasons (it is not that it was not known at least to some.) they believed in instilling the fear of god, the fear of evil eye, the fear of the unknown rather than explanations. the most common answer for any question would be this is how it is followed, do not ask questions.

    Today we are knowledgeable generation, better understanding have better freedom, yet we are the ones who are more rude, hurtful than the fore fathers. we flaunt our finery in front of the one who is struggling.
    we have to flaunt the new car, when you know the other person is going through financial strain, and if you were reckless in the euphoria of driving your new car, blame it on the one evil eye of the one who is struggling.

    I believe everyone has a right to happiness. divorcee something did not work right, that does not mean she does not have a right to happiness. widow, she would not have become one intentionally. why should a woman be penalized for no fault of hers.

    IT is not just women, sometimes even men are excluded. it has happened with my fil. i have been witness to that. he was excluded from blessing, participating in certain functions(because of not having his wife at his side ) in the first two years when mil passed away, but today he is the most sought after elder in the family. same was the case of few others in our family.but things can change with support and encouragement. i believe it is more of breaking of the shackles that have tightened our hearts and blunted our thought process..

    We need to practice than to just think. bring in a inclusive system. if there is a friend who is divorcee, being supportive, if there is a widow encourage her rather than fear her. your support could change the way others treat them.

    a lot of negative energy arises from hurt, jealous and the likes just like positive energy arises from happiness, peace and things. let us think positive and attract positive energy.

    (P.S people with malicious intent be it physical/emotional are different topic all together.)
     
  5. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,736
    Likes Received:
    3,283
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    Nice thread!!!
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,685
    Likes Received:
    11,163
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    I think it's human nature to be envious of others. Not just women, I'm fairly certain the men around are not dhoodh ke dhule either. Now is that envy going to cause serious harm to instill fear? If I envy my working counterparts, will their careers collapse? If my DH envies the guy around the block since he is a DINK will he suddenly get straddled with the responsibility of raising ten kids?
    I find it really strange that people who have the exposure cannot separate the two - envy which is very real and evil eye which is just a bunch of bull. Plus, putting the mangalyam inside your clothes doesn't really fool anyone. If someone is envious, they will be regardless of where you hide your marital status.
    Those of you who have openly claimed envy, don't worry. Your envy hasn't broken any homes. Those of you who claim widowed MILs envy, it is very different in your situations. It isn't easy to live with such people. I don't agree with empathizing with such bearers of negative vibes. You can empathize with her situation but not her actions. You people need to ignore tantrums and live your lives. If it were me, I would think in my head that my DH is here today so I better enjoy with him to the fullest rather than be the moping myrtle later in life. I would ignore such things and move on with my life. Easier said than done but I don't think the evil eye thing exists even with them. It's negativity and jealousy at its peak.
     
    6 people like this.
  7. Swethasri

    Swethasri Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,653
    Likes Received:
    1,567
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    People talk if any abnormal things happen in your life, some theft happened- because of evil eye so you do this pooja blah blah... if you lost any one in your family in a young age again the same reason but not the pooja, if you have special needs child then you did some SIN thats why your child is like this then for thsi the prescription is again pooja, all non sense mostly women talk all these things. But they forget to know one fact that human life is itself to experience all bad and good karmas and to learn the life lessons. Anyway good thread to create awareness.
     
    sindmani and Laks09 like this.
  8. DKI

    DKI Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    818
    Likes Received:
    1,307
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi, Thanks for the information. I was honestly unaware that it was done to women from other regions. In fact, I had not even seen it on women who were not from the brahmin community. That is why I directed this to people from south India.
     
  9. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,179
    Likes Received:
    3,191
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    I have heard that the practice of shaving women's heads and keeping them isolated was to protect them from men, who were generally regarded fickle, I guess! So in essence, by removing the 'beauty' of the woman who has lost her spouse, it was so that other men could not covet her. I don't know how true this is, though. Kind of similar to the hijab in Islam, where the woman wears it to protect her from the man's evil intentions!

    Also, thinking about it... in the olden days, a person's life was divided into the 4 ashramas - Brahmacharyam, grihastashram, vanaprastham and sanyasa. Though this was for the men, it probably permeated in some level into the woman's life, of the woman having to directly go into the vanaprastham mode, leaving aside the grihastashram portion of it, after the loss of her husband.
     
  10. anahita5

    anahita5 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    637
    Likes Received:
    785
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    evil has no friends. I think a lot of evil eye is our own psychology.
     

Share This Page