Do you have a special needs child??

dear shanti,

i should step into this thread and say a few words about you shanti


i joined IL to find a solution for my dyslexic daughter. but IL has become a part of my routine.


you, varloo, and others were such a moral support for me during oct'2007 when krithi was really struggling in her academics.


i got sankalp's no. from you and i went to that school for dd's admission , to my surprise she was admitted as a special case though already the 3rd term started.

even now commuting has become so tedious, but no problem when i think that krithi is going to become big one day this is nothing for me


as parents we should first have the acceptance either the mother or the father.


as shanti says, please friends if you find your child really struggling in academics, discuss with someone so that you can make your child's future better.

vazhga valamudan shanti and her family

love
padma

 

Dear Shanthi and Padma,

My SIL has a son who is a special case. They did not identify his problem till he was six months old. He looked very normal when he was born. But he didn't have any change even after 6 months.. He lay on his back itself..no developments...

Then only the parents and the relatives identified that he has some problem. They went to Doctors and at last found out that the child has autism. Much to their dismay, he couldn't walk also when he became 1.5 years.

The parents tried Modern Medicine, then started with Ayurveda in a Ayurveda hospital in Kerala and then Physiotherapy. At the age of 4 only, the child could start moving. Still he couldn't stand.

With all the treatments, he is walking a bit now. He is above 8 years. Since his brain development is slow, he is not talking much.. so is attending a special school in Mumbai now.

I really appreciate my SIL and her husband.. They are struggling a lot.. But still trying to look happy. They talk about their son to all the relatives, but feel bad when relatives flock in to see his development (only for that, i should say) when they go to Kerala from Mumbai...

He is going to school and can identify objects in books and also the alphabets... But still have a long way to go... May God bless him and his parents with all the blessings and courage for the long road ahead...

 

dear shanthi,
i had written about this in the month of june 2007 i am reposting here to help others do what i have suggested here..Koramangala - Bangalore's Most Happening Place is a great place to leave such children, their training is also great when they are with the other children with the same problem.for some time as training..

A MOTHER OF PERSEVERENCE:


A close look at kumar was a revelation as to what manni goes through, the daily chore of feeding, and toilet cleaning though he looked so big, and giving a bath and then dressing him up, apart from cooking she had all these coming daily, and the weekly oil bath, sometime we used to be envious of kumar for all the attention he got from his mother, and we being normal children were sent away for many chores, but kumar could not handle anything, by the time we could understand him, he had grown way beyond.

He was studying like any other child, which is not right by to-day’s standard but somehow thatha got him the seat,in a government school, but one day we had a large crowd in front of our house, the commotion was too big to handle with police and all, when we came to know what he had done, we had a somersault in our mind to be careful about him, he cut the back of a girl -his class mate with a blade right across and she was profusely bleeding. Some compromise by thatha with money, but still the incident put us off him, and we never used to play much.

He had started to recognize his mom only when he was two years old, and that is a precious achievement for manni, then he could walk by the time he was five, so the slow and steady improvement they hoped some miracle might bring back the child, but nothing happened, he was very interested in films, and songs, a rythm he never missed, though he had a tough time pronouncing rrrrr sound and always landed up with missing it.

Like he used to address my mom as saloja devi instead of the saroja devi, the famous actress, he could only recognize people’s personality in reference with the film characters, he loved M.G.R. songs a lot, as they were famous then…

The family faced a lot of problem, they were very hesitant about visiting wedding, as someone has to be with kumar, he may run away, or his eating in public, he was carried for a very long time, that is up to his 10yrs which was a feat in itself, and his only brother excelled well in his studies and was left along with his grandparents of his mother’s side so that he would not be influenced or associated with his elder brother.

When I think back now, what it is for a child to recognize you only after two years of aching for that, and slowly the rest of the expectation and more attention on the mother’s part as he cant do without her. Like all babies he stretched out his arm but he was a 8yr old big boy how could she carry.

Then one day in 1977 Dec 9 kumar was dead, he was only 23 very young but still the mother though she missed him a lot had to be pacified, at least the ordeal of taking care of a special child is over.

Now again it is so many years over and god has blessed her with a similar grandson, and now she is mentally very much prepared how to take care of him than the others in the family. Here the grandson is even more worse than her son, he could not keep his head straight until he is 4yrs lying down all the time, and his tongue is protruding and the same saliva pouring over, and the family again going through getting shunned mentally not able to attend any wedding, one member always missing in the group to take care of balaji now…but his brother is fairing very well in studies and wants to take up medicine, now coming to the point of why this happens in some home, some say it is due to genetic defects, like marrying into the family of athai pillai and mama ponnu and so on, yes manni had married her mama’s son, but her son married into another family which had similar problem, so they had another child of the same disorder. In both the cases they are very sure that some day their child will become normal, against all odds.

Now coming to the sibling of the child he needs equal attention, and should be given good holidays, and encouragement by spending some time alone with him too, I feel there is an answer here for those of the parents who want to spend time like that, we have a home in http://www.koramangala.com/korabuz/y2k3/marchb.htm Bangalore which is a very nice place for a family to leave behind their spastic child or a child with special attention, and take the other child for a holiday, the food and room facilities are commendable, and the fear of the child getting beaten in put to rest as that is not the way the medical team takes care of them..

Here they will not be doing something wrong but , if taken when very young the children get very good toilet training, and how to behave with other children of the same type of mental reaction to various things, the specialized doctors and psychiatrist are there to give comfort to the child, understand them better as they are handling these children more.
Sometime even better skills are taught according to your mental level of things.

Now coming to the second history of another child, who has studied up to his tenth and then one day all goes hell, all because his girlfriend of many years is to marry someone else because now the mother of the girl felt a better groom needed for the daughter.

A normal child laughs with self, talks with self, not interested to interact with any, only a lot of probing by some dear ones bring out real philosophical thoughts making you wonder, is really something wrong with this child, but yes it is, and many Indian children going abroad have heard to have this syndrome, that they are unable to cope with the freedom of the foreign children and a strict atmosphere which they have to adhere in the house.
So many ayurvedic and current therapy and massage and all but to no avail, another mother’s perseverance going on there too, they are now worried who would take care of him if something were to happen to them, though money has been left behind but who is a big question and how good is another question. Whom to trust with is another big factor.

Hope this article would be passed on to benefit some mother somewhere, so that she takes the help of some of the homes in Bangalore, Chennai and other places…regards sunkan…..

© sunkan., all rights reserv​

 

manju,

when God almighty creates such children he gives certain things in abundance which the parents have to find it.
your sil's son is lucky that his parents are taking steps to improve him.

shanti,

when i was doing my special education course i came across a mother (working in corporation) who had put her daughter in a MR school, but her assessments show that she is a dyslexic when asked why she has put her in a MR school you know what she told , " illa amma naan en ponna nalla school la pota enga church la panam thara matanga, adhu angeye kedakattum" . i was shocked and my head was reeling:spin.

i felt very sad for that 8 year old girl and mother. but i could not do anything.
what awareness can we create in such people ?????????????????????????? even till date i think of that little girl and that mother who is not aware what she is doing is a mistake, sin.

padma