Do in-laws change after having grandchildren?

don't want to dishearten you here, but my experience says baby or no baby, once a possessive interfering ***** will always remain a possessive interfering *****. It is even worse after baby because a wife may still bear to see some one being possessive over her husband but for a new mother it is very difficult to see some one being possessive over HER OWN baby while totally ignoring her.

My mil thinks her son and everything that belongs to him is her property that includes his child as well. And the dil never features anywhere in this. She never misses a chance to show that i don't have anything special about my son just because i have given birth to him. My son is a joint property of the family and just as about everything in the family, my position comes at the end, about things related to my son as well. Believe me this is far worse than having your dh controlled by his mom. i raised my voice and immediately got trapped in the victim playing game by my mil where she proved that i deny the poor old lady the pleasures of playing with her grandchild whom she loves sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much that she left food on some particular day of week as she prays for my son on that day and bla bla bla.

THis i smy story though, i hope yours turns out to be different. All the best.

 

No guarantee. It depends. It also depends on the heart of the problem that you share with your MIL.

I had terrible MIL problem in the past. The arrival of my first child (boy) worsened it. They hated boy child, as MIL had 7 brothers (no sister) and had 3 sons (no daughter), so she is tired of boys. May be, I have no reasons.

Then again, we learnt to become parents, loved a lot, had a common goal and life towards the kid. Which bonded us unlike before and our bonding weakened our opponents.

Now that I have a girl child. I knew MIL was longing for many years to have a girl child in her arms. This time my child made a wonder. MIL has changed, or our bonding had changed her the girl child really made wonders. I dont know.

The result is my MIL is really nice and I have no in laws problems right now. Everything has changed now.

My Mom and my SIL were not getting along good before. All the time I had to patch them up, and intervene to let them understand. However, with time they started getting better and liking each other. Now that my SIL's newborn made a miracle that my mom started treating my SIL like her own DD because of the kid mainly.

It is hard to hate a kid unless you are a monster. When you love a kid so dearly, you can't avoid its new mother. So, obviously there is a chance that your MIL could change unless she is an evil. You only know her.

 

No, she wont change .It becomes worse after the second kid. In my case my MIL always tries to find fault with my motherhood and the way I bring up my kids. My SIL too joins it and all thanks to my DH, even he doesn't misses a chance to find faults with me . So nothing changes .....it remains as it is....people wont change....

 

No, she will not change. However you will change. Your priorities will change. There will be no time to listen to or bother about anything.

 

[h=2]Do in-laws change after having grandchildren?[/h]
Yes, the insecure ones get more insecure.

 

i wish things were really like that. My mil proves otherwise. She showers her love( at least apparently) on my son and openly shows her hatred towards me equally. She hates me for being the mother of my son. Earlier she used to hate me for being there between her and her son now she hates me for being there between her and her grandson. Her only aim all the time is to take my son away from me, as much as possible, both physically and psychologically. She never ever plays wth my son with me holding him or around him. She ill always take him away from me to her room with closed door and then play with him. She will claim tht my son is absolutely happy without me and never cries for me when i am not there. She snatches my son from me regularly. If i refuse any time, or even if the baby does not want to leave me , there she goes..the evil Dil is denying th loving grandmom her natural rights to be with her grand kid.

 

No she would not change, so be really sure and prepared when u have a baby ... it is general notion of society to console u by telling 'once you have a baby everything would work for you with ur ILs or with your marriage or with your DH' practically speaking basic nature of the person never changes,

 

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Answer is simple. Your MIL is an evil as I mentioned earlier in my post.

 

Hi Generic..
I too thought like that.. am pregnant now.. she is abusing now also.. not even considering am pregnant.. but outside world she is acting like she came to take care of me ...baby or no baby if mil is eccentric cant help

 

Generic: It depends on the person...
In my case my MIL never helped me. She became more demon and she thought i have more voice after having baby..Since my DH apparently showed his love for me during the hospital stay.
MIL dint bother to visit my baby once after i was home..now DD is 9 months. FIL dint see the baby after hospital. MIL wont change...why you bother about her.
The bonding between you and your DH will improve after a baby. MIL wont help, but new type of fights will come, say you dont feed the baby well, you bath the baby in afternoon sort., you should clean the baby well..etc. which are better than the old stupid fights..So go for it.