Divorce With Custody Of Children

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by EagerForInfo, Dec 24, 2022.

  1. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

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    Hello

    i am seriously contemplating divorce since my husband has started hitting me brutally.
    But how do I start the process so I get custody of kids. ?
    Reason is if he has them we don’t know what he’s doing with them.
    He doesnt sleep in the same room saying husband and wife should not sleep in the same room as kids but takes my daughter separately into his room and sleeps with her.
    I am not accusing anyone of anything but all these things give me the creeps.

    I am ok leaving him but I want my kids to be with me. And my parents are old and feeble. How about support with raising kids. ? Any advice ??
     
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  2. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    If there is abuse, you can call 911 or seek help.

    Domestic Violence Support | The National Domestic Violence Hotline National Domestic Violence Hotline

    Also, contact attorney to know your rights and learn how to proceed.
    Also, contact a counsellor to gain confidence.
    You need an exit plan, should leave when you are ready, dont discuss with your husband about your plans. Rules can be different, but your kids will get child support.
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2022
  3. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    Since there is physical abuse, you will get custody of kids.
    Call 911 next time he hits you.

    Sleeping with your daughter alone is not good. Is this a recent happening?
     
  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Just something to be aware of with calling the authorities: In some cases of DV if the cops cannot ascertain to their satisfaction who the aggressor is then they will often cart off both people. This is not meant to discourage anyone from seeking help, but be aware that this is a possibility, especially if one party is a very smooth talker. Call the domestic violence hotline first to get advice on what steps you need to take.
    Document clearly, take pictures of any injuries or bruises, look into whether you can record legally and try to remain calm and collected if you summon authorities, so that the other party cannot portray you as a crazy person.
    You also need a very good lawyer. The default in US is to give joint custody.
     
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  5. curlytweethere

    curlytweethere Platinum IL'ite

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    Folks here have given you solid suggestions on most of your threads. You need to take action on your life. And stop expecting anything from your parents. Be confident that you can take care of yourself and your kids without anybody's support and start working towards it. No point is saying parents are old. It's high time you stop expecting from them. If you are not confident that you can take care of yourself how do you expect them to support your decisions?
     
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  6. needawayout

    needawayout Silver IL'ite

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    honey, you need to leave if there is hitting. for the sake of not just you but the kids also.
    The hard truth is that parents are really of "no use" to our troubles (I hated even writing it, maybe there is a better way to put it). BUt we need them for our moral support. Just hold them and cry and we still are ready to take on the world.
    You need to fight it out by yourself. If you are living in the US, I heard there are lot of "meetup" kind of groups for single moms. So, start socializing in those groups immediately.
    Are you working? Are you financially stable by yourself?
     
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  7. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    As per past threads, she and her kids are all usa citizens.
    She has a job and drives too.
    Already she is the one who does all groceries, raising kids.
     
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  8. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

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    No it’s not recent. But before calling or taking steps I need proof. He is the sweetest person in the eyes of friends and society. And more than that he is so confident. With what confidence is he behaving this way. ?how do I get the proof. ??
     
  9. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

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    Exactly. I am looking for proof on how to get recordings. He tells my kids mommy is crazy and lazy. He told his friend that too when I was hinting at things not good at home. I NEED A WAY TO GET PROOF. IF I panic and leave now I don’t want to lose my kids when he says I’m mental. Which I am NOT.
     
  10. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Talk to a lawyer. There are also women’s rights groups that can help you with this. They will tell you what is legal in your area and what steps you need to take. Don’t tolerate abuse.
     
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