Divorce - what's wrong with it?

WesternDevi · Aug 27, 2007

I've seen alot of posts here regarding "love marriages" and how in India they often result in divorce and that divorce is "bad" or "against Indian culture".

If two people marry, then decide that they are not growing in a positive direction within the relationship, what is wrong with divorcing? I can understand if children are involved how one might need to consider staying together for their sake, but if there are no children then what is the harm in divorcing quickly and amicably, parting ways in a respectable manner and moving on with your life?

In India I think even in the metros live-in relationships are not the norm or accepted by most families, therefore in order to find it if you are compatible, you have marry the person in order to live with them. It may happen that you are truly not compatible, and so you have to divorce. As live-in relationships become more accepted, couples will not have to marry in order to find out if they are compatible or not, but nowadays they have to marry, so no one can really blame them if they have to divorce also because they had no chance to find out beforehand if they were fully compatible or not.

Dating someone is one thing but you really don't get to know them and their daily habits until you live under one roof with them. While dating the best face is always put forward but when living together nothing is hidden.

I have a divorced cousin living in Kolkata and her whole side of the family acts as if her entire life has been ruined simply because she is divorced! Mind you she is only 28 years old, in the prime of her life, yet her parents are acting as if she is close to death!!!

Contrast that with my two divorced cousins here in USA who no-one blinked an eye over their divorce and they are both back in the dating scene meeting all kinds of interesting people and being happy.

The world does not end after divorce. The sun still continues to rise and set on the horizon. Nothing changes.

Anandchitra · Aug 28, 2007

Nicely written article. it is different only if no child is involved.Peoples erceptions and outlook changes over time.
regards
anandchitra

sunkan · Aug 28, 2007

Thanku,
We Need These Changes In A Fast Pace Here, And Woman Have To Come Out Of These Turmoils, They Should Not Depend On Their Parents But On Their Self Decision To Stand Apart, And To Put Their Interest First, Wonderful Article, Way To Go...sunkan

rakshantha · Aug 30, 2007

hi western devi

Well ur thoughts are very revolutionary. But in India I fell that it would take a very long time for "living together before marriage" concept sets in.

Only in the recent past the society in India has started to accept love marriages. Still it is taboo in many families.

Even though a girl is well educated and has a good career she is not confident enough to choose a right partner. :shaking: A girl has to be confident of herself and should have the guts to face the society. Once she feels brave enough to live seperately from the shades of her parents then she should think about getting into a relationship.

The whole society in India has to undergo a vast change in order for the families to accept divorce "without a blink".

My humble opinion is even before living in with someone, one has to give a lot of thought about herself and the guy before getting on the relationship. Because a wrong choice will surely lead to broken heart. And after being with that person and getting intimate I think it would be really hard to break up.

Before falling in love and even before dating she should understand herself, What she needs in a man, What she needs in life and then choose the right person.

Regards
Rakshantha (AKA) Sangeetha

sunkan · Aug 30, 2007

Hi Western Devi,
Came Across This May Be U Will Understand Now..sunkan

Iamagoodgirl · Aug 9, 2013

OP i agree with most of the things you have said but previous generations believe on sacrifices and keeping marriages intact.It has something to do with religious mind set.Once married you are married for next 7 births.
Its going to take time to change mindsets.No society can change in few days its going to take few decades.

yellowmango · Aug 9, 2013

Agree with OP.
The belief that love marriages end up in divorce more than arranged marriages is misleading.
People who choose love marriage are generally less conservative and willing to differ from the family and society in general in their views. They are more likely to not care about society if they are not happy together and let go.

Arranged marriages in general are undertaken by people who are willing to let other family members and society play a part in their lives.
If things don't go well in these families ,the partners are under more pressure to stay together as it was not their decision alone.

Wowman · Aug 10, 2013

very nicely written OP. I totally agree with you and I believe most of the women who have even a little open mindset will agree with you.

silvertulip · Aug 10, 2013

This is a very old post, and user is banned from the site!

OCdesigirl · Aug 10, 2013

My parents are divorced, and I loved it growing up! No arguing parents! Divorce is unfortunate but if it can not be avoided I do not think it is wrong.